Like Life of Pi except the only thing similar to Life of Pi is the being-in-a-boat thing.
Like Life of Pi except the only thing similar to Life of Pi is the being-in-a-boat thing. Göran Pehrson/Getty Images

Today is my very last Slog AM: After six glorious months, my reign over your morning news is coming to an end as this internship winds down. Sharing the last roughly 125 mornings with you all has been great, and I want to sincerely thank everyone who was a part of this community. Yuck, that was sappy as hell. You people don't come here for the sap, you come for the snark—so here we go!

If you thought that latest heat wave was bad, just wait until 2100!: Hundreds of Seattleites will die every year in the extreme heat waves of the future. Yes, I know most of us will be dead by 2100 anyway, but that's not the point. If greenhouse gas emissions continue unchecked, up to 725 people in this city could die from extreme heat exposure and related complications, according to the Seattle Times. That would mean average temperatures of 97 degrees for days on end in a city that has very little infrastructure to deal with extreme heat. For every degree of warming we prevent, we can prevent roughly 100 people from dying in Seattle during extreme heat waves. Seems like a no-brainer, right?

A man just rowed 7,000 miles from Seattle to Australia: It was the first unsupported crossing of its kind, and it also shows just how bonkers people can be sometimes. Jacob Hendrickson, a former air force fighter pilot, decided to row for 11 months across the Pacific Ocean because he was unhappy with his career trajectory. In unrelated news, I'm going to row to Hawaii to deal with my post-Slog-AM sadness.

Seattle representative Pramila Jayapal shares the story of her abortion: In an op-ed for the New York Times, US Representative Pramila Jayapal opened up about her choice to end a pregnancy following the premature birth of her firstborn, who was just 1 pound 14 ounces when born. She is one of the most high-profile politicians to speak openly about her decision to have an abortion, and said she felt moved to do so following the recent votes in states like Alabama, where they essentially outlawed abortion. As Stranger writer Jasmyne Keming writes, "The thing is, this really shouldn't be news. We should live in a country where abortion is readily and safely available to those who desire to have one. It's a fundamental right. It's health care. It's normal."

20 Democratic candidates have qualified for the first debate: I bet you can't name them all. Don't look at the tweet yet! I got 13 before running out of steam, how'd you do? They will be split into two 10-person debates so that everyone can actually fit on the stage and have more than 30 seconds to talk. You can bet Governor Jay Inslee will be there beating the drum of climate change. You beat that drum, Jay! The debates will be on June 26 and 27.

It's Donald Trump's birthday today, so I'm not going to make fun of him:

SIKE!: What, you really thought I was going to write my last Slog AM and not get a few last jabs in? Do you remember yesterday's post about Trump telling ABC News that he doesn't see any problem with receiving campaign dirt from foreign countries and wouldn't report it to the FBI? Well, apparently the chair of the Federal Election Commission had a few problems with that. In the memo she never thought she'd have to write, she explained in even words Trump can understand that it's fucking illegal to accept help from other nations to get elected and has been since the very first day our nation was founded.

Sudanese officials admit to violent military crackdown: The Sudanese people staged a massive protest demanding true democracy in the country following the resignation of the country's strongman leader. But what was once an inspiring national protest turned deadly when military forces violently dispersed the crowds, killing at least 100 people and committing numerous atrocities in the process. Many of the bodies were dumped in the Nile River, so the exact death toll is hard to pin down. The government has done the absolute bare minimum in admitting "violations" had occurred and arresting a few officers for their conduct.

Outdoor Research is in desperate need of sewing specialists: I'll admit I never learned how to sew. One time, I tried to stitch up a hole in my shorts and just end up stabbing myself in the fingers a bunch before I brought them to the nearest dry cleaner. Outdoor Research, a Seattle-based gear company, can't find enough workers proficient in sewing their handmade gear to match demand, so they're moving the bulk of their production to California. One worker calls the lack of proficient sewers a generational problem, with first-generation immigrants working these jobs so their children can become lawyers and doctors. All this is to say, if you're good at sewing, Outdoor Research is hiring in sunny California.

Speaking of sun: There will be some today, but not until later.

Toronto Raptors win NBA Finals for first time ever: Not only that, it's the first time a Canadian team has ever won an NBA Championship. My friends who actually follow sports tell me the team's season is one of the most impressive stories in basketball history, with the late addition of all star Kawhi Leonard propelling them to upset the Warriors dynasty. I love me a good post-game celebration, but hate wasting good champagne. Just drink that shit!

Thank you to everyone who actually reads this: It still blows my mind that anyone actually looks at this little roundup I type up every morning in my room (let's be honest, in my bed). Whether I was buried underneath a mountain of blankets when I had no heat during the Snowpocalypse or pounding cups of coffee trying to get all your mugs in on time every Wednesday, this has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

When I started this, I had never thought about putting my own opinions into the news, let alone trying to be funny while doing it. Now I don't ever want to stop! Thank you to everyone who sent me mugs, who shared this with your friends, who sent me a nice e-mail, and to all the people who talk shit about me in the comments. I couldn't have done it without you.

But don't you worry! Slog AM will still be around. Stay tuned to Slog PM this evening for updates. As for me, I'll be spending the last two weeks of June finishing up articles and projects that have been in the works, so keep your eyes peeled for wonky, sciencey stories coming your way. And don't be a stranger! (Ha!)

Now listen here, you $#!%

The best Seattle entertainment options this weekend include: The 14th Annual Washington Brewers Festival, the Seattle DJ/breakdancing institution Massive Monkees Day, and Mae West's The Drag: A Homosexual Comedy in Three Acts.