It all began with Republican Mike Huckabee, who kicked off the
holiday season with a television ad that had secularists seething and
rival campaigns applauding his shrewdness. The soundtrack: “Silent
Night.” The visual: Huckabee sitting next to a Christmas tree, wearing
a red sweater, and reminding voters that despite all the campaign
hubbub, “what really matters is the celebration of the birth of
Christ.” The coup de grâce (or, perhaps, the coup de Christ): As
Huckabee speaks and the camera glides slowly to the right, the dividers
of a bright white shelving unit behind him form an unmistakable cross
that seems to float from near the Christmas tree right into Huckabee’s
head.
Message: He gets it. He’s willing to put the Christ back in
Christmas—
even if it means visually impaling his skull on a
cross.
Who can beat that? Well, no one has. And yet almost every candidate
has tried,
offering an array of visual Christmas cards that tell
us a lot about what messages, subliminal and literal, they’re trying to
send to voters with less than two weeks to go before the Iowa
caucuses.
So come sit near the crackling fire
(because, almost without
fail, these commercials showcase a crackling fire), and let’s look at a
few, shall we?
Barack Obama:
The setup is classic, with a well-decorated tree on the left of the
frame, the Obama family in the middle (all wearing nice white tops),
and behind them… a crackling fire. Barack, wife Michelle, and
daughters Malia and Sasha crowd together, arms wrapped around each
other, as Barack speaks to the camera about how “the things that unite
us as a people are more powerful and enduring than the things that set
us apart.” Then the cute daughters say, in turn: “Merry Christmas,”
“Happy Holidays.” Message: He’s a uniter, not a divider, but he’s also
down with Christmas. Subliminal message: If you’re racist and the
thought of this black family living in the White House freaks you out,
just focus on their white shirts and breathe slowly.
Hillary Clinton:
Opens with “Carol of the Bells” playing in the background as
scissors slice through fancy wrapping paper, ribbon unfurls, and a
gentle hand slides labels onto the gifts: “Universal Health Care,”
“Alternative Energy,” “Bring Troops Home,” “Middle Class Tax Breaks.”
Then there’s Hillary, looking very Martha Stewart, seated on a cozy
couch surrounded by her gifts to the American people. She’s laughing at
herself because she’s misplaced one last label, which she quickly
finds: “Universal Pre-K.” She slides it onto a gold-wrapped box: “There
it is!” All is well. Bells chime. Message: Hillary knows what you
really want from a politician—results—and she’s got them
right here in a gold box for you if you’ll just vote for her.
Subliminal message: She’s warm, she can laugh, she’s… human.
John Edwards:
No fireplace. Tree looks a little cheap. Expression is grim. Opening
line: “One out of every four homeless people on our streets is a
veteran…” What? John Edwards! Are you really going to tell us that
Christmas is about compassion and not presents, about the 37 million
Americans who live in poverty and not about Santa Claus, about standing
up for the disadvantaged and not about being greedy capitalists? Yes,
you are, and… good for you? Closing line: “In America, the chance to
build a better life is a promise made to each of us, and the obligation
to keep it rests with us all.” Message: I am the man of the people and
I will fight for you. Subliminal message: I am the man of the people
and I will fight for you.
Rudy Giuliani:
He has two holiday commercials out, but let’s skip straight to the
one that talks about fruitcake, for obvious reasons. First thing one
learns from this commercial: Even a red Christmas sweater is unable to
make
Giuliani seem either warm or fuzzy. He’s stiff, the sweater’s
too big, and it all ends up looking like he’s wearing a bulletproof
vest underneath. Second thing one learns: Giuliani doesn’t have time
for your whining or your wish lists. “I’ll be working to get everyone
the same gift: a safe America, lower taxes, secure borders… and
probably a fruitcake or something.” An offstage voice challenges him on
that last one. He replies: “What? It’ll be a really nice fruitcake,
with a big red bow on it, or something like that.” Message: Do not
question. Just vote for me. Subliminal message: Fruitcake. 
