Trigger Warning

  • Trigger Warning

MONDAY, DECEMBER 29 This year-spanning week of pissy peacekeepers, relative bloodshed, and romantic desperation lodged in a residential chimney kicks off in New York City, where today the New York City Police Department continued to distinguish itself as America’s preeminent group of crybabies. “Two days after scores of police officers turned their backs on Mayor Bill de Blasio while he spoke at a murdered officer’s funeral, a scattering of boos and jeers greeted the mayor [today] as he addressed another police department event: the graduation ceremony for the fall class of 884 new officers,” reported the New York Times. “Once again, Mr. de Blasio found himself speaking to turned backs: Six or so audience members at Madison Square Garden—out of thousands—turned away from him as he spoke, just as officers did outside Officer Rafael Ramos’s funeral on Saturday, and at the Brooklyn hospital where the officer died the week before.” The cause of the rampant back-turning and hurt feelings: Mayor de Blasio’s statements in the wake of a grand jury’s decision not to indict the officer who fatally choked Eric Garner, an unarmed black man, on Staten Island in July. Among de Blasio’s allegedly inflammatory post-Garner remarks: “Anyone who believes in the values of this country should feel called to action right now,” “It should be self-evident, but our history requires us to say that black lives matter,” and acknowledgement that he’s spoken to his biracial son about “dangers he may face” during interactions with police. In response to de Blasio’s allegedly treasonous remarks—which were followed two weeks later by the tragic murder of two on-duty cops by a suicidal loon—the back-turning NYPD has engaged in a virtual strike…

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David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...