LINDSAY LOHAN She wants to be in the live action Little Mermaid and… STOP LAUGHING YOU GUYS GETTY / CHANCE YEH
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20
Welcome back to One Day at a Time, dears—your final sanctuary in a world gone mad. FIRST UP… Long-forgotten and utterly useless starlet Lindsay Lohan is staging a comeback… Disney-style! Having taken note of Disney’s trend of cranking out live-action remakes of their cartoon classics, LiLo is angling for the starring role in a live-action The Little Mermaid! “I will sing again,” Linds threatened on Instagram. Demanding that Disney “approve” her plan, Lindsay then sat back and waited, presumably flapping her papier-mâché mermaid tail in a giant pile of cocaine. Disney, meanwhile, didn’t say anything, probably because they never announced any plans to remake The Little Mermaid. And now they never will.