Tax returns, shmax returns. Credit: GETTY IMAGES
Tax returns, shmax returns.
Tax returns, shmax returns. GETTY IMAGES

Bank actually does something nice for once: Washington Federal will be providing interest-free loans to furloughed federal workers affected by the shutdown in Washington and the seven other states where they operate. They can get up to six months’ worth of paychecks, but they have to pay it back by June 2022. I’ll admit, when I read this, I thought, “What’s the catch?” But it seems CEO Brent Beardall actually just wants to do something nice. I mean, I guess you do have to open up a checking account with them to get the loan. Oh, and it’s only interest-free for the first 90 days. Maybe it’s a little selfish after all.

How much money are federal workers owed? Some data wizard at the New York Times put together this visualization so you (I) don’t have to. The average worker has missed $5,000 so far during this shutdown. And while shutdowns usually end with employees receiving back pay, there is no guarantee they will this time. On an unrelated note, I’m now going to apply for a job at the Security and Exchange Commission (and get that bread).

Show me the money! Well, at least show me the tax returns. Donald Trump broke with decades of tradition in 2016 by not releasing his tax returns, and we still haven’t seen them (House Democrats are salivating over them). But Washington State lawmakers are introducing a bill that would require all presidential candidates to disclose their tax returns at least two months before a primary. At least 25 other states have tried and failed to implement this into law, but Washington has always been a trendsetter.

Move over Inslee, it’s the State of the Union: But it might get postponed a bit. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wrote a letter to President Trump asking him to push back the State of the Union address, which is scheduled for January 29. How about we push it back a year, and then another year, and then just get rid of this antiquated system altogether? Trump literally spews a stream of consciousness State of Delusion every morning on Twitter, so I think we’re all better off without 45 minutes of his best speech writers making him look “presidential.”

Goodbye, sun: It’s been real. I’ll see you again in a few months.

Court filings show Sackler family was heavily involved in OxyContin misinformation: They’re one of the richest families in the country and have been mostly insulated from the shitstorm coming down on Purdue Pharmaceuticals, which they own, but not anymore. The family told executives to “hammer on abusers in every possible way,” while at the same time urging sales representatives to push doctors toward prescribing the highest dosage because it made them so much goddamn money.

Americans killed abroad: A bombing in Kenya on Tuesday killed 14 people, including one American. An unnamed number of service members died in Syria during an explosion. Al-Shabab and ISIS claimed responsibility respectively. It’s not yet clear if this may complicate the United States pulling out of Syria or if ISIS actually did play a part in the bombing. I don’t have a joke for this; it’s fucked up. I’m gonna go stare at the ceiling.

YouTube cracks down on pranksters: The platform has had enough of your Bird Box Challenge and is cracking down on “dangerous challenges and pranks.” If it may cause serious physical harm or mental trauma, then don’t bother uploading it. Good luck enforcing that, YouTube.

Here’s a challenge for you:

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: A chance to hear the thick, throaty, spacious vocals of R&B artist Jacob Banks, a stand-up show with New Yorker satirist and Borowitz Report founder Andy Borowitz, and a WordsWest reading on “past and future selves” with E. J. Koh and Juan Carlos Reyes.

Timothy Kenney is a former Slog AM intern. He's written for multiple Seattle outlets, helped CNN cover a mudslide in Sierra Leone, and almost threw up on James Franco once.