The new body of Christ. Credit: diane555/Getty Images
The new body of Christ.
The new body of Christ. diane555/Getty Images

February is over: This isn’t really news, I just think it’s insane that this month is already done. This year is going by too quickly. I need more time. Okay, early morning crisis over, here’s the news.

More on Amazon backing out of that massive lease: It would have been the largest lease in Seattle history, but the company is getting cold feet. The building in Rainier Square, which seems to break the laws of physics, was used as leverage to get the Seattle City Council not to impose the head tax last year, and now Amazon is pulling out of the deal anyway. For proponents of the head tax, this was seen as an “I told you so” moment and may influence the way tax negotiations with tech giants go in the future.

UW unveils its newest high-tech building: And you’re goddamn right it’s named after Bill Gates. The entire campus is Gates this, Allen that. The new computer-science building will expand the most competitive major at UW and close the gap between the job opportunities and the number of available graduates. It was built specifically to support undergraduate students and will double capacity in the major from 300 to 620. So look out, UW students, now you’ll have 620 kids looking down on your major because they think theirs is harder.

Meager salmon runs expected this year: From the Columbia all the way to the Fraser River. This means less food for orcas and fishermen alike. It paints a startling trend in the wrong direction and will require massive efforts to reverse. Returns of spring Chinook to the Columbia are expected to be down 14 percent compared to last year. That may not seem like a big deal, but that’s only half the population size of the 10-year average.

Trump negotiations with Kim fall apart: Of course they did. The two leaders couldn’t quite agree on what denuclearization meant, and Trump wasn’t ready to give up on sanctions quite yet. It didn’t really seem necessary for the president to fly all the way out there for a daylong summit that was doomed from the start. Could others not have negotiated on their behalf? It’s not clear where these negotiations go next. North Korea wants sanctions fully lifted before dismantling any of its nuclear program, and the United States wants fully verifiable denuclearization before easing sanctions. Next to the word impasse in the dictionary you’ll see a picture of the Trump-Kim commemorative coin.

Trump returns home to a hostile Washington: After a long trip abroad, Trump will take a dip in the Washington press pool, who no doubt is going to hammer him with questions about Michael Cohen’s testimony. House Democrats also have several new lines of inquiry and could even be positioning themselves to subpoena Trump’s tax returns. Cohen will likely leave the spotlight soon after pouring gasoline all over the dumpster fire that is Trump’s legal troubles. There have already been unofficial calls for impeachment and Mueller’s forthcoming report may bring Democrats and Republicans to a head.

It was the third coldest February on record: But warm weather is on the horizon. Well at least above freezing weather.

House approves expanded background check for gun buyers: This seems like a good thing, but it’s a dead bill walking. The Senate and White House are going to take out a hunting rifle they bought that same day at a gun show and blow holes in that innocent little bill. Well, they are at least expected to vote it down. Don’t you just love a divided Congress?

Doctors told Pope Francis to lay off the pasta: Except they probably said it in Italian. The leader of the Catholic Church has had a lot on his plate, and I guess we can take that literally now too. He’s gained a little weight since taking over the leadership role in the church, but how is he supposed to not gain weight in Rome? I was there for a week once, and I swear I doubled in size. I had some combination of bread, sauce, and cheese at every meal. It’s heaven on earth. Right, Pope Francis?

The Senate is now taking up terminating the president’s emergency declaration: A bipartisan proposal to strike down Trump’s emergency at the southern border is gaining steam in the Senate with Senator Susan Collins signing on. If it passes the Senate, then President Trump would be faced with the tough decision of issuing a veto.

The internet’s newest gif: Turns out actors are pretty good at tricking us into thinking they’re in love.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: An in-store performance with hometown hiphop heroes Chong the Nomad and Stass THEE Boss, a Glamorous Refusal writing workshop with Seattle civic poet Anastacia Renée, and a chance to see Marmite chef Bruce Naftaly go head-to-head with the Food Network’s Bobby Flay on TV.

Timothy Kenney is a former Slog AM intern. He's written for multiple Seattle outlets, helped CNN cover a mudslide in Sierra Leone, and almost threw up on James Franco once.