Teens PLEASE avert your eyes (if this bill passes) Credit: Rattankun Thongbun/Getty Images
Teens PLEASE avert your eyes (if this bill passes)
Teens, PLEASE avert your eyes (if this bill passes). Rattankun Thongbun/Getty Images

The people want affordable housing: The state legislature hears these cries, and 2019 may be the year they take action. Crosscut’s Josh Cohen laid out some of the most ambitious solutions representatives have to tackle Washington’s housing crisis. Some are pretty simple, like spend more money building affordable housing, while others, like establishing minimum density quotas, might be a bit more contentious.

Not an Onion article: Remember back in 2017 when Trump and Putin had a little one-on-one chat behind closed doors with only their translators tagging along? Well, apparently Trump has been hiding details about their conversation from his own top officials. When Fox News host Jeanine Pirro asked him if he’s working on behalf of the Russian government, Trump answered, “I think it’s the most insulting thing I’ve ever been asked.” That’s not a no! It’s also what people in movies say when they don’t want to say yes.

[Insert shutdown joke here]: That’s right, folks, this shutdown has gone on so long, I’m all out of jokes. As the record-long shutdown enters its 24th day, there’s no end in sight. The GoFundMe for the border wall surpassed $20 million, Trump is still considering a national emergency declaration, and there are bills the president could sign today to reopen most of the affected agencies. As someone who is flying this weekend, could we at least fund TSA so people don’t bring guns onboard planes (which is a very real thing that happened this weekend)?

Another depressing record: Americans are more likely to die from an opioid overdose than a car accident for the first time on record. This public-health crisis killed more than 70,000 people in 2017, and the statistics for 2018 are likely to be even higher. Synthetic opioids like fentanyl are now the most commonly used drug in overdose deaths and many believe it’s fueling the increase in deaths. So let’s all give a big “fuck you” to fentanyl.

Winter-summer is the best: Except I looked for my sunglasses for 20 minutes yesterday and couldn’t find them. But other than that, no complaints about this summer renaissance.

The boat, the boat, the boat is on fire! Three houseboats at a Lake Washington marina were engulfed in flames last night. Luckily, nobody was badly hurt and firefighters were able to put it out pretty quickly after spooling out more than 1,000 feet of hose.

Road rage: Today is the first major commute of the Seattle Squeeze, and I hope you’re ready to crawl along I-5 for a while. Seattle officials really want you to cut them a break and not to break out in a fit of rage at the douchebag who cuts you off at the Convention Center exit. If you find yourself getting angry, maybe try listening to some DMX or pretend you’re Morgan Freeman giving a Ted Talk on bubble baths.

This guy is living in 2099: Maybe try this for your Seattle Squeeze commute? Oh, and if you’re new to public transit, then check out these helpful tips from grist.

Wildfire woes: Pacific Gas and Electric Company said it will file for bankruptcy by the end of the month after its equipment was linked to a string of California wildfires over the last two years. The most notable and deadly fire caused by PG&E was the recent Camp Fire in Northern California. The company said it faces about $30 billion in liability for these fires and definitely can’t cover the costs.

Tobacco might become 21 and up: If the Washington State House passes a new bill requested by our certifiably-woke attorney general, Bob Ferguson. It would also make vape products harder to get. At least six other states have already done this, and member of the house think it may help fix the fact that high schools are just a constant hot box of vapes and Juuls these days.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: The 90-minute thriller B by Chilean playwright Guillermo Calderón, an exploation of the history of female rule at National Geographic Live: When Women Ruled the World, and the circus-themed theater piece Link Link Circus with iconic film star and activist Isabella Rossellini.

Timothy Kenney is a former Slog AM intern. He's written for multiple Seattle outlets, helped CNN cover a mudslide in Sierra Leone, and almost threw up on James Franco once.