Someone sent this to the office. Will I die in seven days if I watch it?
Someone sent this to the office. Will I die in seven days if I watch it? Chase Burns

Mayor Durkan unveiled her 2020 budget today: She wants to “take our progressive Seattle values and turn them into action,” she said, which translates to a $6.5 billion budget that includes “infrastructure projects and $1.5 billion in general-fund allocations for basic services such as parks maintenance and policing,” writes Beekman at the Seattle Times. Heidi Groover broke down what’s in Mayor Durkan’s proposed 2020 transportation budget.

Greta delivered a Nicole Kidman-level monologue today at the UN: Is it too late to give her an Emmy?

But seriously, the earth is collapsing: A UN report warned that climate change is rapidly accelerating. The earth is “on track for the warmest 5-year period on record,” but today’s UN Climate Summit yielded few commitments, reports the New York Times. If Greta can’t do it, I don’t know who or what can. Maybe only this.

A lawsuit has been filed in Washington state over the mysterious vape-related illness: It’s the first one filed in Washington. The Pierce County man says the products he consumed “left him wheezing, breathless and hospitalized earlier this month.” This KOMO report doesn’t say who he’s suing, however, besides “six Washington vaping products processors.” KIRO, however, had more:

“The companies listed in the suit are Canna Brands Solutions, Conscious Cannabis, CannaNW, LeafWerx, and Jane’s Garden. KIRO 7 was able to get through to Canna Brands and LeafWerx. The companies said they had not seen the lawsuit and did not comment.”

Trump’s having a wild day with the press: He’s back at it. And by “it” I mean saying shit that would get anyone but Trump impeached. But according to Trump, “If a Republican ever said what Joe Biden said, they’d be getting the electric chair probably right now.” What?

And the RNC is right behind him: Sending emails with baseless claims.

10th graders at Rainier Beach won’t receive as much history instruction this year: Due to budget restraints, lower enrollment projections, and, according to some students and staff, inequitable funding. Students walked out during the first day of class “in protest of funding inequities across the district,” writes Liz Brazile at Crosscut.

New gadgets are coming soon from the tech giants: Hopefully there won’t be another Alexa-powered microwave. Amazon will hold an event that will most likely showcase new devices later this week. Microsoft will hold their own event showcasing their updated Surface devices on Oct. 2, and Google will probably reveal the new Pixel at an event on Oct. 15. These types of events from tech giants have become common in early fall as the holiday season approaches… I miss summer.

Ballard’s $550,000 Portland Loo will open later this month: Loo, as in where you poo, not loon with a typo. These big “austere and uncomfortable” public toilets—named after Portland, the city where they were patented—are built to withstand a beating: prison grade stainless steel, anti-graffiti powder, a reinforced wall. Why such an intense toilet? Well, our Honey Buckets are failing us and “only six city-funded restrooms are available 24/7.” Also, do you remember the great Seattle public toilet debacle of 2004?

The DNC has raised the qualifications that candidates have to meet in order to participate in the November debate: Here are those qualifications from NBC:

To qualify, candidates will need to hit 3 percent support in at least four early state or national polls that meet the DNC’s methodological requirements, up from 2 percent for the September and October debates.

The number of unique online donors needed to qualify will climb to 165,000, up from 130,000 for the previous two debates.

A tale of two campaigns: Is Yang about to outlast Booker in the 2020 race? First, from Yang:

And now, Booker’s campaign manager: Ruh roh.

Passenger-only ferry traffic in Puget Sound is UP: WAY UP. “Overall foot-ferry ridership in the first six months of this year was more than double its level during the same period of 2014,” writes AP. It looks like everyone’s fleeing to Kingston and Bremerton. Passenger-only ferry service between those cities and Seattle saw a 126 percent increase.

Narcissism is a helluva drug: Maybe we just need to praise him out of office.

Some destruction porn for your evening: It’s relaxing to see something other than our country’s soul get crushed to pieces.

Hot tip: Although it’s getting colder by the minute.

Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.