These are the expectations. The reality was a boat that was QUICKLY TAKING ON WATER. Credit: RIEGSECKER/GETTYIMAGES.COM
These are the expectations. The reality was a boat that was QUICKLY TAKING ON WATER.
These are the expectations. The reality was a boat that was QUICKLY TAKING ON WATER. RIEGSECKER/GETTYIMAGES.COM

Hate crimes and incidents are up almost 400 percent in Seattle since 2012: Well, at least reports of them are up almost 400 percent, according to a study released today by the Office of the City Auditor. There were 521 hate crimes reported to Seattle police in 2018, an increase of almost 25 percent over 2017, and this growth trend is seen in other cities, too. The report notes that an increase in reported crimes could be a good thing, as it potentially means communities and individuals feel more comfortable reporting crimes. SPD hired a bias-crimes coordinator in 2015, which may be one of the reasons for the continued increase in reports, the Seattle Times notes. There also, of course, could just be more hate crimes.

Bad news for some of our favorite Hawks: By “our” we mean probably a lot of people reading this since we don’t watch the Seahawks (or, we don’t watch them of our own volition but end up having to watch them some way or another). Anyway, safety Kam Chancellor and receiver Doug Baldwin got the axe today. The reason? A failed physical. It wasn’t super surprising since both were likely to retire soon—Chancellor didn’t play last season and Baldwin had been riddled with injuries. Still, people are sad.

Happy birthday to our newest council member:

Annnnd there’s a whole lot more on scooter share: Did you know this plan is estimated to take 10 months before it’s implemented? This is a thing THAT ALREADY EXISTS. In cities all over the world. Let’s just fucking copy one of them and get on scooters next week? Sound good? Yeah, same here.

Man drove through Wenatchee Mall: He drove his white BMW straight through, had a little joy ride inside, and then drove out the way he came in. When police asked why he did it he said: “You know why.” He had “a large kitchen knife, two syringes and a baggie containing 3.5 grams of methamphetamine” in his possession. At the East Wenatchee Police Department, he attempted to flee while he was still handcuffed and police had to tackle him.

Whale watchers, dying to see whales, almost died seeing whales: A Canadian whale watching boat hit a rock near Smith Island, Washington, and “began taking on water” (a boat term for sinking, we assume) this afternoon, causing the Coast Guard to launch an emergency rescue mission. 43 people were rescued. No one had any serious injuries, reports KOMO.

We’re picking things for the new Space Needle time capsule: Oh boy, oh boy. What will go in there? The first items were just picked annnnd they’re super fucking boring: a set of Forever stamps, a single share of Amazon stock, a poster signed by Pearl Jam, a mini Seahawks helmet signed by Walter Jones, and… Twinkies. Twinkies are an irrelevant junk food in 2019! People can also apply to put their personal items in the capsule through a contest. We have some ideas. It will be sealed on Oct. 21, 2019 and opened April 21, 2062.

Jeff Bezos is going full blown Elon Musk: Today, richest man in the world and sentient golf ball Jeff Bezos announced plans for space colonization with his spaceflight company Blue Origin. At a press conference in Washington, D.C. he discussed plans for interplanetary travel and settlement, unveiling “Blue Moon,” the company’s lunar lander that’s been in the works for the past three years. Even though Earth is “the best planet” he said that “It’s time to go back to the moon, this time to stay.” Blue Origin will apparently send humans into space this year on New Shepard, a suborbital vehicle designed for space tourism. We know who we’d nominate to go first!

Stay safe out there:

Meanwhile, this is what graduation in Boulder, Colorado was like Thursday: The students staged a snowball fight after the ceremony.

Seattle Times columnist Nicole Brodeur has clearly never listened to Solange: In her multimedia exhibition Black Among Other Things at home gallery Aura in the Central District, Seattle University senior Alexis Taylor explores what it means to be a black woman in Seattle. The installation also includes an audio clip from more than a year ago starring Seattle Times columnist Nicole Brodeur, who asks Taylor (a black woman) if she could touch her hair. Taylor interviewed Brodeur (a scab) as part of a Seattle U class project, after the columnist apologized for writing this white panic editorial on a “changing” Columbia City. The interview had just begun when Brodeur, mid-reach, asked to touch Taylor’s green braids. Listen to the exchange here:

Headline of the week: The Art of the Deal co-author calls for Trump’s memoir to be pulled or ‘recategorized’ as fiction

Trump says Barr can decide if Mueller testifies: Over the weekend, Trump tweeted that Robert Mueller shouldn’t appear before Congress. Now, he’s allowing Attorney General William Barr to decide if Mueller should testify. We guess his tweet isn’t his bond. These comments came during a surprise press conference. He also said he was shocked that Don Jr. had been subpoenaed (there you go Don, dad noticed you).

Heroes! They’re among us!

Alabama’s shitty abortion legislation isn’t law yet: The proposal would outlaw most abortions in the state. It’s the bill that does the most—and the worst—to inhibit a woman’s right to an abortion. Chaos on the Alabama Senate floor delayed debate on the bill. Republicans were fighting with each other over whether they should allow abortions in the cases of rape or incest. Despite the delay, the bill is likely to pass.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...

Jas Keimig is a former staff writer at The Stranger, where they covered visual art, film, stickers, and culture.

Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.