Weiners Continue to Fall on Hard Times: Anthony Weiner — not the politician, a 25-year-old Boston man— allegedly dealt with a sexting scandal that ended with him taking a nice hard bat to a man’s head.
Goose Poop Leaves Activists Feeling Shitty: Wildlife officials at Lake Sammamish State Park captured and killed 90 geese for concerns of goose poop’s effect on the environment. Animal activists were disgusted, calling for a humane alternative.
Man Trapped in Mt. Hood Tunnel: A snowboarder is trapped in a Mt. Hood ice tunnel after it collapsed yesterday. The search for him continues this morning.
Quick! Call an Ambula- Oh. A man got into a car chase with the cops after he allegedly drove his pickup truck into Highline Medical Center’s lobby yesterday morning. He was arrested, and the lobby was shut down.
Sport Ball News! The Sounders website asked fans to arrive early for yesterday’s game against Dallas for a “special presentation.” What did Sounders fans get? Mothafuckin’ Clint Dempsey joining the team!
Drowning near Seafair: The body of a man was found in Lake Washington after he had slipped, hit his head, and fell into the water. Police said alcohol may have been a factor in the accident.
More Seafair Scares: During a qualifying heat race yesterday afternoon, an F-1 Prop boat flipped and crashed, before starting to sink. The driver got out before it went underwater.
You Can’t Supplement Integrity: Jonnie Williams —Political donor and chief executive of a dietary supplement company— is cooperating in a public corruption investigation of Virginia Governor Robert McDonnell. Williams’ interviews and financial records indicate luxury gifts and over $120,000 given to McDonnell and his family.
Iran’ New President: Hassan Rouhani was sworn into office today, in a ceremony attended by foreign dignitaries for the first time. Rouhani won the June election on a platform that promised to follow a “path of moderation.”
Milk Powder Botched with Botulism: All milk powder from New Zealand has been banned in China, after a strain of bacteria that can cause botulism —a form of food poisoning— was found in products of New Zealand’s main dairy exporter. Botulism can often lead to paralysis.
Sometimes you gotta dance. Sometimes you gotta fight. Sometimes you gotta do BOTH.