MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16 This week of incriminated villains, fatally diverted lactation, and a missing clown statue found in an exceedingly creepy place kicked off in that unquantifiable miasma of tradition, ideals, aesthetic preference, diversion, and defense mechanisms known as popular culture, which in recent weeks has been dominated by Fifty Shades of Grey, the zillion-selling series of softcore porn novels with an attention-grabbing BDSM tinge, which began life as Twilight fan fiction and recently hit cinemas as a big-budget Hollywood film. Prior to its opening, Last Days saw this film, and here’s what we learned: Dakota Johnson is a hero, Jamie “Muppet Baby Colin Firth” Dornan is a handsome snooze, and their film contains far more discussion of paperwork than it does kinky sex. But following its opening weekend, Fifty Shades of Grey might well be remembered as the movie that turned cinemas into crime scenes…
