Dear Seattle: Look, I get it. You love cats. In fact you love them sooooo much, you let them run around outdoors so they can pick up diseases (including feline leukemia) and parasites (ear mites and ringworm), drink antifreeze, or get eaten by any number of predators.
Yeah, your love for these animals is really inspiring. (That’s sarcasm, if you couldn’t tell.)
But I’m not here to educate you on animal cruelty; I’m here to say that I didn’t kill your stupid cat. And frankly? I’m insulted by the insinuation!