YES. Anything Goes is in-fucking-credible.

I saw "Anything Goes" last year and thought it was pretty good. It was my first experience with the musical, so I have nothing to compare it to. I found it sweet, a bit slight, with a couple of dynamite numbers ("Blow Gabriel Blow" being my personal favorite).

But Dan, when you mentioned the strapping sailor boys, you hit the nail on the head. I remember one in particular when I saw it, a well-muscled blond boy (those costumes are so well fitted you could make out muscle groups from the cheap seats) who I was always waiting for to come on stage so I could stare some more. I remember identifying him in the Playbill so I could try to cyberstalk him later, but I never got around to it. Thanks for the reminder! :-)

I am commenting on the Mormon's guy problem. I too share this issue of feeling fully attracted to men physically but emotionally attracted to women. I have had rewarding/transformative emotional relationships with women that I have never been able to have with men. However, I have had rewarding/amazing physical relationships with only men, not women. I have yet to find someone that I can share both an emotional and physical connection with.

I am 22 and at a crossroads. Is it possible to prioritize one type of connection over the other? I am in the beginning of a heterosexual relationship with an amazing woman because I have found that having an emotional connection is more rewarding than a physical one. But I am concerned that in the long run we will encounter issues because our lack of a physical intimacy (since physically I am only attracted to men).

So my question is: if it possible to have a physical connection that eventually becomes emotional, what is the likelihood that the opposite can also happen? Is it possible that after sometime with this beautiful woman I will become physically attracted to her?

I should mention that I am not at the least homophobic. I have self-identified as "gay man who falls in love with women" since I was 19. Any one else out there in the same boat?

I am commenting on the Mormon's guy problem. I too share this issue of feeling fully attracted to men physically but emotionally attracted to women. I have had rewarding/transformative emotional relationships with women that I have never been able to have with men. However, I have had rewarding/amazing physical relationships with only men, not women. I have yet to find someone that I can share both an emotional and physical connection with.

I am 22 and at a crossroads. Is it possible to prioritize one type of connection over the other? I am in the beginning of a heterosexual relationship with an amazing woman because I have found that having an emotional connection is more rewarding than a physical one. But I am concerned that in the long run we will encounter issues because our lack of a physical intimacy (since physically I am only attracted to men).

So my question is: if it possible to have a physical connection that eventually becomes emotional, what is the likelihood that the opposite can also happen? Is it possible that after sometime with this beautiful woman I will become physically attracted to her?

I should mention that I am not at the least homophobic. I have self-identified as "gay man who falls in love with women" since I was 19. Any one else out there in the same boat?

I wanted to comment on the Mormon guy's issue and to echo Dan's advice.

I'm 25 and gay, and I've always known that I was attracted to guys even when I tried to get with girls as a kid. I don't really have the desire to be with women on a romantic or platonic level, but I do end up having more female friends based on the fact that the stakes are low.

I've found that I am completely guarded when it comes to gay guys because there is so much to lose. I'm afraid of rejection so I don't know how to act when I am attracted to a guy. With women, I can be myself without any fear because I don't really care about impressing them or what their rejection will mean for me. I can just simply be me without any tension. Similarly, the same goes for my interaction with straight guys.

I still haven't figured out a way to get over it, but in the mean time I've taken to beating off as much as I can and not worrying about being in a relationship at the moment.

Dan! While you're apologizing to the straights for the Gayest thing you've ever said on a podcast (your plug of Anything Goes), you might as well extend your apology to the gays who can't stand musicals. WE'RE OUT HERE!

Just a point about basic verbal courtesy, Dan. Please don't apologize for doing something too much, then do it more.

Make the podcast as gay as you like, make it gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide* should you choose. But there's just something very dickish about saying "I'm sorry for X" while trebling down on X.

* - Shamelessly stolen from Good Omens.

I feel sorry for the Mormon guy's 'girlfriend'. She's think she's got this great friend that she confide to and he wants to USE her as his beard? He didn't give her happiness a single thought! It was if he said to himself "She's too fat for anyone to want; I'll take pity on her and make her my sham wife. She'll be grateful."

I know he is young, but he is still an ass.

@Pete, it is absolutely possible to have a physical attraction grow from an emotional one. As a straight guy it's proven to be my preferred strategy to get with women. (let their attraction grow from emotion) ... I know it's not the same, but remember everybody IS different, this is a question you should ask yourself.

How gay are you? What level of monogamy are you seeking? Do you want to explore your sexuality with women, and under what context?

Be true to yourself, and if you arn't sure what that means, enjoy the exploration.

@Pete_NY:

I identified that way for a long time - attracted to boys physically, attracted to girls emotionally.  (I remember referring to myself as "straight from the waist up" a few times.)  Likewise, I did not consider myself homophobic - my entire extended family is outspokenly gay-friendly, and they raised me to be accepting too.

Soooooo... now I'm openly gay, in a long-term relationship with a man, and enjoying the happiest years of my life so far :)

I agree with Mr. E that an emotional connection can sometimes inspire a physical connection. I've overcome hang-ups, I've fallen for people outside my usual type, I've broadened my preferences. However, in 28 years my sexual orientation has never changed. In other words, I overcame my emotional distance from men; I never overcame my lack of physical desire for women.

Certainly I've had many "rewarding/transformative emotional" relationships with women - I still do to this day! These are wonderful, close, intimate friendships that I wouldn't trade for anything. But none of them has ever culminated in lust, infatuation, or love. Even back when I was desperately hoping one would, it simply never happened. In contrast, my relationships with men have been rich with all three (on TOP of the deep platonic companionship).

Of course, I'm not you. It may be that the details of your situation are different. Nonetheless, I would encourage you to reconsider the possibility that you might just be gay. That's what I did, and my life has only been better for it!

Best of luck regardless :)

@Mr. E: Thanks for your feedback. To answer you question, I'm not sure how "gay" I am. If/when people ask me I say I'm gay because I feel like my sexual orientation is gay. However I feel like my emotional orientation is straight. I can't identify myself as bisexual because that would imply I am sexually attracted to both males and females, which is not the case. But when I say I'm gay, I feel like I'm not telling the whole truth because I'm just not emotionally drawn to men.

I am starting to experiment with an amazing woman sexually - it's satisfactory - but it's just not the same. I don't feel that natural spark that I feel with men. But I have a deep emotional connection with this woman that I have never had with a man. I am striving for a monogamous relationship but perhaps it's unrealistic with my situation?

@Limbo: Thanks for your insight! I know exactly what you mean by "straight from the waist up". I am glad to hear that you have found someone you are happy with. It gives me hope that I too can someday overcome either my emotional distance from men or my lack of physical desire for women. But I just don't know which "hang-up" will be easier to overcome.

We can all agree that a sexual orientation cannot/should not be changed. But what about an emotional orientation? Are these two types of preferences intertwined or can there be a distinction? I don't know if that is to suggest that our emotions are centered around our sexual preference - but my experience tells me they are not.

I hope to reconcile this issue like you @Limbo. Perhaps I too will one day find a man with whom I can have "all three" and still have close and intimate friendships with women. Thanks again for your input.

For the time being, I will stay optimistic and enjoy the journey :)

Dan, just a comment about the woman who called you upset that her friend and her fuck-buddy were 'cuddling'. While it is true that she can't control the sexual partners her fuck-buddy chooses, I feel she can ask her friend not to get involved with her fuck-buddy. I am a straight woman and I have had a fabulous fuck-buddy for the past 6 years. I have found it difficult to establish healthy fuck-only relationships, friends with benefits, whatever. I have tried with other guys and in my case the guy ends up not being able to deal with it because he assumes I will want more (maybe he wants more and can't tell me), whatever the problem it falls apart. So I have this great 'friends-with-benefits' relationship with this one guy, our personalities work in the arrangement, we trust each other, and the sex is always good. We hook up whenever I am back home, as I work abroad. I have more respect for this relationship than I do for a lot of couples I know. While I can't tell him who to sleep with anymore than he can tell me, I would absolutely expect my friends never to go there. If a friend and he were to establish a real meaningful relationship then I would not stand in the way, but casual sex, there are plenty of guys out there for my gfs to fuck, and plenty of girls out there that are not my friends for him to fuck.
The caller was not talking about a fun sex partner that she has seen casually over the last fews month. She, like me, had had this arrangement with this guy for several years. Maybe fuck-buddies are easier to come by in the gay community, but for me it aint easy to find someone you can trust to get tested, trust to wear condoms, trust to not pull emotional bullshit, and to return that trust 100%, while also being someone you like hanging out with, love having sex with and you feel safe knowing you wont ever fall in love with them because that connection just aint there. I have that. In my experience that is special and rare. I know I wont ever have to tell my friends not to go there, but if I did I would not consider myself a controlling bitch.

Hi Dan.

I am commenting on the woman who called concerning her Fuck Buddy and one of her best friends "cuddling." I have to agree with you. They may have a long-standing Friends with Benefits relationship dynamic, but the bottom line is, the casual nature of the relationship does not give her the right to veto his other sex partners, no matter who they are. I am not saying her feelings in regards to the dynamic of the relationship are not valid; what I am saying is that if she does feel that way, maybe she needs to establish a new Fuck Buddy relationship with someone else who respects her "no cuddling (or fucking) my friends" boundary.

And here's a little food for thought: My best friend and I have a long-standing casual Fuck Buddy/Friends with Benefits relationship with the SAME man whom we both sleep with ON A REGULAR BASIS. Neither of us become jealous of the other's hook-ups with him nor have we ever requested that the other not see him. I agree that finding a good Fuck Buddy can be tough; however, that's all the more reason to share! I think in this case it's all about perspective and personal boundaries. If you can't handle it, don't do it. Period.

Hi Dan,
I am commenting on the girl who didn't want her Fuck Buddy "cuddling" with one of her best friends. I also agree with you that she has no right to dictate to him who his other sexual partners are or what the dynamic he creates with them are. For health reasons, it's common courtesy to inform your Fuck Buddy of how many sexual partners (possible even who) they have and if they are practising sex but that's it. If she can't handle it then she clearly isn't cut out for having a fuck buddy relationship. If she has an issue she's too sensitive, too possessive or wants more than a Fuck Buddy relationship.

Furthermore, additional food for thought: my best friend and I have a long standing Fuck Buddy that we share and who we both sleep with on a regular basis. Neither of us gets jealous. We even compare notes and trade stories about our encounters. And when we spend the night in our Fuck Buddy's bed, which is almost always the case, there is definitely cuddling.

Hi Dan,
I am commenting on the girl who didn't want her Fuck Buddy "cuddling" with one of her best friends. I also agree with you that she has no right to dictate to him who his other sexual partners are or what the dynamic he creates with them are. For health reasons, it's common courtesy to inform your Fuck Buddy of how many sexual partners (possible even who) they have and if they are practising sex but that's it. If she can't handle it then she clearly isn't cut out for having a fuck buddy relationship. If she has an issue she's too sensitive, too possessive or wants more than a Fuck Buddy relationship.

Furthermore, additional food for thought: my best friend and I have a long standing Fuck Buddy that we share and who we both sleep with on a regular basis. Neither of us gets jealous. We even compare notes and trade stories about our encounters. And when we spend the night in our Fuck Buddy's bed, which is almost always the case, there is definitely cuddling.

Couldn't agree more about Anything Goes! I loved Sutton Foster and I loved cute sailor asses!