It's a shame, really. So many of today's musical icons rest their fat tushies on lofty laurels constructed by the opinions of people who have long since proven to be idiots. But what about those who never had the chance for musical success due to a lousy and undeserved reputation? Whose baloney do they have to blow to get a fair shot in the crazy, mixed-up music industry?

For example: Take the golden boy of mopey gloom rock, Leonard Cohen, and failed actor turned musician Corey Feldman. Mr. Cohen has built a very dubious career out of writing songs that even Geddy Lee of Rush would find pretentious, while Corey Feldman writes lyrics that are at least as pretentious--yet he's considered a laughable failure! Leonard Cohen has a voice reminiscent of a pair of electric hedge-clippers being tossed down a garbage disposal, while Corey Feldman's pipes emit a thin, whiny version of the same voice he used in his last popular movie, Stand By Me--and he's still considered an itty-bitty piece of poop next to (and I'm about to be really sarcastic here!) the grand, exalted, almighty savior of angst-ridden acne-covered teens everywhere!

But hey! Don't take my word for it! Take the following quiz, and see if YOU can tell the difference between Leonard "Ooooh, I'm SO sad and profound!" Cohen, and Corey "I may be stupid, but I'm at least as smart as that dunderhead Cohen" Feldman. Check out the following lyrics and see if YOU can guess who wrote what!

Who Wrote the Stoopid Lyric: Leonard Cohen or Corey Feldman?

1. "They lay down beside me, I made my confession to them/Touched both my eyes and I touched the dew on their hem/If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn/Bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem"

2. "Dreaming of a new day born/Where peace is real and fear is gone/And ashes linger from the burning dawn/Still I feel that none of this is real/I'm trying to steal from everyone's emotions/This is hard, my soul's been scarred/Nearly barred from legitimate devotion"

3 "I'm aching for you baby/I can't pretend I'm not/I need to see you naked/In your body and your thought/I've got you like a habit/And I'll never get enough/There ain't no cure/ There ain't no cure/There ain't no cure for love"

4. "True love leaves no traces/If you and I are one/It's lost in our embraces/Like stars against the sun"

5. "So now you stop and think and realize/You've been deceived and lost under starry skies/You need something that's real to hold on to/The bottle, the nurse, is out of glue/'Cause you are still searching for soul/Still searching for soul yeah yeah yeah"

6. "I see the man on the crucifix/Plastic doll and a couple of sticks/I see the book of the watchtower/Sold door to door, and hour to hour/And we wonder why/We need to lie/We live in fear/And our spirits die"

ANSWERS! 1. From "Sisters of Mercy" by Leonard Cohen. 2. From "Soul Search, Part 3" by Corey Feldman. 3. From "Ain't No Cure for Love" by Leonard Cohen. 4. From "True Love Leaves No Traces" by Leonard Cohen. 5. From "Soul Search, Part 2" by Corey Feldman. 6. From "Oh, God!" by Corey Feldman.