YEA, VERILY, THOU MAY STAND IN LINES in this season of SIFF, yet thou shalt fear no bad movies, for thou hast thy Stranger SIFF Bible to guide thee. Movies to the left of thee! Movies to the right of thee! Onward and upward to victory!

With the help of GOD HIMSELF (and a multitude of film reviewers from across this great land of ours), we at The Stranger have put together the most comprehensive exegesis to the Seattle International Film Festival imaginable. Clever folks that we are, we call it the SIFF Bible. For every movie objectively described, there is another that begets an actual review, written by somebody who has actually seen the movie (you'll see the author's name in parentheses). I'd like to give a quick testimonial here to disciple Ray Pride, contributing editor of Filmmaker magazine, editor of the forthcoming Atom Egoyan Interviews (University Press of Mississippi), and film critic for Newcity Chicago, who took up the call and reviewed dozens of films we in Seattle just could not see. Thanks also to all our other writers, too numerous to mention.

This year we have fully embraced the digital age, not only putting every one of these capsule reviews online, but making them searchable in so many useful ways: by country, by director, and by title. Read viewer reviews! Organize your own schedule and download it for your own convenience! Just find your way to our rigorously updated website,, and follow the arrows to heavenly convenience.

But take heed, dear readers, for Satan is among us. Satan has put his forked foot into our cinematic paradise, adding a handful of movies into our mix that SIMPLY DO NOT EXIST! The first brave saint who finds all of these false testaments hiding amongst the true gospels shall be rewarded with cinematic salvation: a full-series pass to the entire festival. Stand with us in the "pass holders" line, and enter the theaters before those hard-working regular folk. Simply call 366-2246 and leave a message detailing your epiphanies.

Fire and brimstone shall rain down upon those who do not consult the SIFF Bible. It is the Word behind the projector's light.