Eddie Spaghetti connected with The Stranger via cell phone while sprinting across a busy Los Angeles street on his way to Starbucks. In true Supersuckers form, Eddie had taken time out to make a few purchases at the block-long Hustler megastore, including the "rock star" T-shirt he planned to wear for the remainder of the band's seven-week tour. The ensuing interview showcased his sharp wit and love of trouble....
What would be the title of your autobiography?
"I Couldn't Have Cared Less."
What's more important, lyrics or music?I'm gonna have to say music, because "Ramma Lamma Ding Dong" doesn't mean anything, but it rocks anyway.
What is the stupidest lyric ever written, besides "Ramma Lamma Ding Dong"?"Be Bop a Lula" is stupid too, but I like it. I would try to find one that is ultra-pretentious and stupid, but I don't listen to that kind of music.
What is the dumbest thing you've ever done while drunk?Whoo! I don't know if I could name the dumbest one... probably jumping over a fence into a Jacuzzi and then practically begging the security guard to call the police, which he thusly did. I was standing there in my underwear and my cowboy hat, dripping wet, trying to remember the numbers off of my ID, which I couldn't do. I was like "daily, star, niner -- who knows these things?!" I was not at all scared of the rent-a-cop or the repercussions that might ensue from him. He said, "Get out of there." I was with Spencer from Murder City Devils and these two girls who we weren't interested in in any sexual way; they just happened to be there. I said, "Nope, I'm too comfortable, I ain't gettin' out." I told him to call the police, and that's when everyone goes to get their cameras, because they know the police are coming. Sure as shit, the real police show up and they have me out of the Jacuzzi, and while he's running my identification I get back in the Jacuzzi, because it was cold. So I go to jail for a night. So what? I talked everybody back into the Jacuzzi, and we totally got away with it. I didn't remember it in the morning, and I woke up with my pants on and my shoes -- and I never sleep with my shoes on. I had all my clothes on except for my underwear, which was weird. I got into the van and there's my wet underwear hanging up, and I reach into my pocket and there's a Polaroid of me in the Jacuzzi. Until then I didn't believe it when the guys were telling me the story -- I was like, "Right, sure." And then I saw that picture and it was like looking into a dream.
What song would you have played at your funeral?I'd like something good and evil, but I can't think of anything right now. Let's come back to this one.
What's the worst album that you've ever loved?Anything by Zodiac Mindwarp. If I put that on right now, I'd probably still dig it.
What is the most naive ideal you held in your 20s?That life is not fucked and people are not shit, when in fact they are. I have what I like to call a "positive pessimism" toward life, a world based in acceptance and reality. I think that stuff comes when you get older. The other ideal I held in my 20s was that I'd never drink coffee, and now I'm runnin' across the street just to get a cup. I grew up in Arizona where we didn't have good coffee. Can you hang on for a second? I have to order a coffee.... [To Starbucks employee] Can I get a grande drip with a shot? [Back on the phone] And now look at me, I'm ordering a grande drip with a shot!
What would you say is your most marketable skill outside of music?Comedy. I think stand-up would be the most gutsy thing in the world to do. I can't imagine just standin' up there by yourself and planning on making people laugh. It's one thing to be funny in a situation, but I give up to the genuinely funny stand-up comedian.
Let's play a round of "I Never," backward. You tell me something outrageous you've done, and I'll see if I can match it.Okay. I have... oh boy, I've done so many embarrassing things in my life... I had sex in the bottom of an empty swimming pool.
I can't match that.I have done acid at Disneyland on my senior trip with [Supersucker] Ron Heathman, and we saw X play. It was killer.
It's a good thing we're playing this over the phone, because I get the feeling you'd drink me under the table in no time. And I'm getting depressed, because apparently I haven't lived the wild life I thought I had. I'm hanging up.Wait, I figured out what song I'd like to have played at my funeral. It'll be on the next Zeke record. It's called "Now You Die."