Shucks, Seattle is a great movie town! We have everything you need to make a movie right here: There's lots of nice people, plenty of electricity, big dogs to do any "dog saving the hero's life" scenes--and people here are really nice about lending each other stuff, like houses for sets and cars for chase scenes and stuff!! Plenty of people know how to make fake blood, and tons of people have computers with Photoshop for CGI effects. The police probably even have some flash bombs left over from the WTO conference that we could use for any special effects. Plus, there are stars everywhere! Just the other day, I saw the Professor from Gilligan's Island at Tully's in Madison Park just having some coffee! I'm sure he'd love to be in one of those great blockbuster films. There's no reason that li'l old Seattle can't give big, bloated Hollywood a run for its money. Here are a few pitches putting that gilded "Seattle spin" on some tried-and-true formulas. Yoo-hoo, Mr. Studio Exec: Can we have some money yet?

TITANIC: SEATTLE

The only Seattle blockbuster to actually reach production, Titanic: Seattle stars Mayor Paul Schell as an impetuous old youth who, in a backroom card game at McCormick & Schmick's, wins the right to host the third ministerial of the World Trade Organization. His growing love affair with Charlene Barshefsky is played against the opulent canvas of hotel rooms and convention centers, and things are going very well until the meeting plows into a huge pile of demonstrators.

An out-and-out action film, much of Titanic: Seattle's three-hour-plus running time is taken up by shots of the massive demonstration and its destructive power: slow-motion pans of windows smashing, dumpsters burning, etc. Director Norm Stamper actually went so far as to stage a huge demonstration last fall in an over-the-top bid for total cinematic realism.

THE PERFECT STORM: SEATTLE

A freak weather system, never before seen in recorded history, dumps a record amount of snow on Seattle, plunging the city into chaos. At the center of it all is Q13 news weatherman Jim Castillo, whose reckless pursuit of the perfect "in the field" story takes him and his production crew to the very summit of deadly Queen Anne Hill, putting him in the direct path of the monster. CGI effects of Seattle smothered in over five inches of snow heighten the tension....

THE SIXTH SENSE: SEATTLE

City Attorney Mark Sidran stars as a lawyer assigned to talk some sense into a young boy arrested for sitting on the sidewalk, but when he gets there, things seem more complicated than he had thought: The boy seems jumpy and distracted. He has a secret. "I see homeless people," he confides. "Other people can't see them, but I can." A dark thriller, The Sixth Sense: Seattle avoids the Hollywood ending with a shocking final revelation: Sidran himself is a homeless person!

THE MATRIX: SEATTLE

The year is 1983. U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, a beta-tester for a growing computer software company, sees his world turn upside down when he gets a strange in-house memo: "Follow the White Rabbit." Soon, he meets an enigmatic Rastafarian named Thaddeus, who offers him two different Frappuccino flavors: the Chocolate Brownie will let him continue his life as he knows it; the Orange Mocha Chip leads to reality. Jackson opts for the Orange, and, drinking it down, wakes up in the depressing reality of the year 2000, where the now-massive Microsoft Corporation has enslaved countless thousands in a cybernetic "campus." The race is on to topple the monopolistic stranglehold of the renegade corporation. Film quote: "As long as my stock options go up in the cyber-world, I don't care."

AMERICAN BEAUTY: SEATTLE

Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen stars as a middle-aged man with a less-than-satisfying marriage to a power-hungry wife (played by Paul Allen's real-life "wife," Jody Allen Patton) and a growing crush on a high-school cheerleader. Quitting his job at the Microsoft Corporation, Allen tries to recapture his youth by buying a red car and building a multimillion-dollar rock and roll museum.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT: SEATTLE

Three Cornish students set out to make a senior thesis on the legend of Bonney Watson, the famous crossdressing witch of Volunteer Park. Huddled together in their tent the first night, they are terrified by strange moaning sounds that seem to surround them in every direction....

JURASSIC PARK: SEATTLE

Nick Licata has a vision: to build an amusement park at the Ballard Locks, complete with genetic reconstructions of the extinct fish once known as "salmon." Things go horribly wrong....

SHAFT: SEATTLE

World-famous glass artist Dale Chihuly stars as the eponymous badass....