Stranger Distribution Team Helps You Move
Moving sucks, especially in winter. This holiday season, why not free someone you love from the hideous moving burden by hiring The Stranger‘s distribution team to tackle the move? Included in this spectacular gift are the peerless lifting skills of six sure-handed, able-bodied Stranger employees, who will place your pre-packed boxes and other items (Couches? Baby grands? Bring ’em on!) in a big old Stranger distro van, then drive to the Seattle location of your choice and unload. (One trip only.) Kick your feet up and let Distro Team do the work for you!
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
“Topography of Terror” Tour with Charles Mudede
For those who’ve been following The Stranger‘s Topography of Terror series, here’s your chance to see the actual scenes of death and crime on a guided tour with Police Beat columnist Charles Mudede. While sharing bottles of wine in the back of a limo, Mudede will show you 10 of the most terrifying locations in this city. Perfect for the true-crime lover on your list!
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
Jennifer Maerz Covers Your Band in Live Wire
So Stranger Music Editor Jennifer Maerz isn’t returning your e-mails or phone calls, and she still hasn’t come to see your band play live like she promised she would months ago. Well, bad news, champ–it’s never gonna happen. But now, one lucky winner can have the last laugh by purchasing guaranteed coverage in Maerz’s live-music column Live Wire in a future issue of The Stranger. She’s never gonna call you back, pal; you might as well put some money down.
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
Adrian Ryan Devotes Celebrity I Saw U to Your Superstar Life
Are you a star awaiting discovery? Wait no more! The recipient of this thrilling gift will find him or herself in the infinitely witty sightlines of Stranger columnist Adrian Ryan, who will devote one whole week of Celebrity I Saw U to you and your friends! Watch as Adrian Ryan goes where Liz Smith would never dare: into the fucked-up, gossip-drenched trenches of your own petty personal life! See the boldfaced names of your friends and kids and coworkers alongside phrases like “Leslie Miller’s helmet hair” and “Little Miss Timberlake”! Be a star!
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
Video of Kathleen Wilson off Capitol Hill
That’s right! This one-of-a-kind videotape features actual footage of Stranger writer Kathleen Wilson–known far and wide as an intractable Capitol Hill denizen–actually leaving Capitol Hill! Watch as Wilson gets in a cab outside her beloved Cha Cha Lounge for a ride to exotic Ballard, where she’ll walk around for a full 15 minutes!
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
Video of Bradley Steinbacher Eating a Dozen Doughnuts
A serious cinephile’s home video collection is not complete without this original and completely unedited short-subject documentary of The Stranger‘s very own film critic Bradley Steinbacher eating 12 doughnuts!
Rest assured, the image of Steinbacher shoving a dozen sprinkled crullers into his piehole is the greatest thing committed to videotape since Paris Hilton’s oral skills! Act now!
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
Sara Dickerman Makes You Dinner
Stranger food critic Sara Dickerman–also a professional cook–will create a meal to order in your own home, preparing the food you like just how you like it. If you are very nice and need to impress a possible one-night stand, Sara might even consent to pretending to be a member of your staff, but don’t push her too far.
Priceless! Starting bid: $1.99
KELLY o Bobblehead Doll
Lovingly crafted by Seattle bobble artisan Jake Nelson (custombobble@hotmail.com), this six-inch doll offers a perfect bobbley replica of beloved Stranger Managing Art Director Kelly O! Also available in equally beloved Stranger receptionist Mike Nipper!
Priceless! Starting bid for each doll: $1.99