Laws against public nudity are stupid. Who gives a shit if someone's cock or pussy is open for all to see. People are too uptight.
I thought the same as Dan about FLASH not having to flash in her own home.

Does she want to be overtly naked in her own home because it's safer? It would be a fine 'baby-steps' approach, so long as her nudity isn't specifically eroticised--from the viewpoint of anyone who sees her. Then, when she's more confident, perhaps she'll take more of a 'performer' role displaying herself in clubs. I'm not too sure about the 'wandering round in public in a gauzy blouse'-line. There are times I'd love to see it, then also times when it would be an intrusion--and probably there will always be people on whom it imposes. Why not pose (safely) in front of people whose consent is implicitly secured?
Honestly, get a webcam. It's safer, you'll make more money, and its more ethical. Or if it needs to be face-to-face, learn how to be a pole-dancer and start stripping.

Of course, at the end of the day, her desire is fundamentally about violating consent - about surprising someone with her naked body in a vaguely inappropriate setting. As you're an attractive (and I'm assuming white) woman, your risk of legal trouble is as close to zero as it can get, as long as you keep it to "walking around naked in your home" and not "diddling yourself in the window". A more uppity person than I might ask that you "check your privilege".
FLASH should try a kink space, in which she can be undressed and do her thing in a reasonably controlled space, but I suspect that part of her arousal in this scenario is the idea of being observed in the nude while going about her routine tasks and unaware that she is being observed. Flash isn't into being objectified, she wants to erotically observed from a distance, while creating an erotically charged situation out of the mundane day-to-day activities of her home life.

In most places that could lead to trouble. That is much less of a problem in a place like New York City, where towering apartment buildings face other towering apartment buildings, and each window is like a separate show featuring people going about their daily life. Since they live in separate buildings across streets or avenues, I'm hard pressed to call such people neighbors, but have seen such people engaged in all manner of sexual activity.
A number of years back a man was arrested in Northern Virginia when a woman and her child WHO WERE TRESPASSING looked in his window and saw him naked. I never understood why she wasn't arrested for being a Peeping Tom. I think he was convicted too but I am not sure I remember correctly. If so he may have to register as a sex criminal for life.
Want to be an exhibitionist?…
I like Sportlandia's thoughts @3. Failing that, though, you could become a Mormon and then begin parading around in your magic underpants. You could behave scandalously while remaining law-abiding.
I've stayed at the Highline in NYC and they have signs in the rooms explaining the obvious - people on the Highline can see you. The management asks that people curtail their nudity or actions while nude.

It was pretty funny.
She wrote: "what about deliberately posing erotically or masturbating where someone might see me? The idea of it gives me a killer thrill but I'm wondering if it's 1) too creepy and 2) safe? If I was at a hotel I wouldn't think twice"

If she wants to know people are watching her masturbate, then a sex club is the best bet.

But if she wants the thrill of not knowing if people are watching, I'd stay a night in an urban high-rise hotel, on an upper floor. One can masturbate or have sex pressed up against the windows -- if it's night time and the room lights are off, no one will see you. With dim lighting, you can increase marginally the chances of someone seeing you, depending on your preferences and the legal risk in that city. Being high up means that no one is likely to see much, but you can still imagine that they're watching you.

The hotel room won't be cheap, but the memories of your fun and anticipation of the next time... those are free. She already knows she wouldn't think twice if she were in a hotel. I'd save up and make that happen.
Agree @8. Good post from Sportlandia.
It is a strong fantasy sequence of mine, the ol masturbate where someone can see you. Then in the fantasy someone always turns up to join in.
Every woman in her 30's who writes in to Savage is "relatively attractive"!
There are pro and cons for being an exhibitionist female, assuming LW really is (not entirely sure, but that’s not the point.)
On one side you are far less likely to get arrested, yet on the other you are way more vulnerable in terms of people assuming you want to have sex with them and/or being raped.

Some practical “beginner exhibitionist” advice that apply for women:

“Invisible masturbation”- At night you can turn the lights off in your place, sit by the window and masturbate, assuming you are in a dark enough environment to be “invisible”

“Accidental” or “Flash Flashing”-
Option one-You just “stepped out of the shower” with a towel on your head or something to indicate just that, and went to your bedroom or living room to grab some clothes. This also means you only expose yourself for a short time.
Option two- You are in your bedroom, taking your clothes off, putting on that sheer baby doll or whatever, and turn the lights off or step out of the room (only to come back few minutes later.)

“Full blown” – I’d go with the hotel suggestion voiced by others. A slow “accidental” show in which you take your clothes off, get your toy from your suitcase which of course is placed so onveniently by the window, and so on…

Another every day, possibly even work place stuff you are likely to get away with: nipples show through unlined bra, no bra at all while wearing a vest over your shirt (I learned that from a co-worker), thong line shows under pants or skirt, and so on.

Again, safety and “legal” should be your main concerns. Which neighbors you think are seeing you?
Is the hotel room location can be identified from the street and someone goes up and knocks on your door?
If you do it in a club of some sort, does that mean people will see you as a potential sex partner even if you don’t want them to? (making advances, following you to your car, etc.)

I’d say stay away from web cams and sending any pictures to strangers for now. I will discuss media in the “advanced options” segment I might post later this weekend.

Shabbat Shalom.
I'm calling bullshit on the "psychological standpoint" that the defining characteristic of an exhibitionist is a strong urge to expose one’s genitals to an unsuspecting stranger. . . in public places.

That may be the intersection of exhibitionism, the law and most successful prosecutions; but stereotypical is not the same as defining.

As Dan said, exhibitionism is on a spectrum. Showing your cute butt off walking down the sidewalk. A woman leaning forward to "accidentally" show more cleavage. Taking a little longer to change in the locker room or in the hotel window. Being extra vocal during sex when there are thin walls. Humping just off the hiking trail.

The guy in the trench coat in the city park is an extreme case who casts aside all plausible deniability. Everyone else is on the spectrum.
And can technology be our friend in this arena? How many little motels were set up with peepholes, back in the day? How many now have nanny cams to spy on guests?

It could be like getting endless foot massages from the foot fetishist: The exhibitionist checks into the motel knowing they'll be looked at and masturbates on camera to that thought. The pervy motel clerk gets their thrills thinking no one knows they're watching.
Re: FLASH This can be deadly!
Back in 1970, I was “dating(?)” a homicide detective and he was also in Vice because Salt Lake City didn’t have enough homicides to keep him busy. And yeah sex crimes and murder do go together.
ANYWAY, he told me about a particular intersection where they were getting horrific car collisions every night--between 3 am and 5 am. Always a male driver by himself going uphill through a red light. Dale was asked to consult as the guys were all giving the same story. The intersection was going up a hill. At the top of the hill where the street dead ended a woman had affixed a YUGE mirror that slanted to give everyone driving up the hill a view of her masturbating (She was lying on the bed, head towards the window, with mirror showing her pubic area. This was before women did Brazil shaving.) Remember this is Salt Lake City, UT and many husbands had never even seen their own wives naked--what with the magic underwear and all, much less a strange woman.

When it came time to investigate not one of the guys could..uhh..describe the woman from the neck up. But Dale did confront her and he said her game was going to kill someone! So she gave him permission to pass out her name and number to the cops on the department and promised to stop. Of course there were many guys who were upset that the free show had stopped.

One of my favorite memories of SLC! This guy was great. BTW Utah and Hawai’i are tied for having the highest use per capita of online porn in the nation. Hawai’i because it’s 2,000 miles away from everything and Utah as they are supposed to be so public.
LW sounds like someone with poor boundary awareness, which probably comes out in other ways too.
Advanced options, CMD @13? Waiting to hear those.
Lava- I’m not sure there will be an advanced edition, as I’m not fully convinced LW is who they say they are.
I seriously doubt a woman in her early 30’s would still be wondering about the safety issues that may arise from exposing herself in her own place. A hopeful male neighbor comes to mind.
We can still have fun discussing exhibitionism regardless. My living room window is facing a busy street…

Yet another letter I identify with! I walk around in underwear + bra at least once a day with the blinds open on the windows facing my backyard, whether when I get up in the morning or after shower or both. There's a tall fence that might or might not block the views of houses on other sides -- I can't see into their windows, and maybe the angles are different from their ends. At night I close the blinds facing the street/sidewalk and in the bedroom. I like that neighbors might see me going about my everyday busy in a body that looks good from there, and I like that if they have a problem with it they can avoid looking over my fence in the future.
CMD@19. I don't think this LW is fake. She's being an exhibitionist with us, tantalising with her fantasies. The danger part is a worry. Like Chase said, her boundaries are not good.
She's young, at her sexual peak and feeing its power because her body is young. She needs to not be an idiot though and put herself in danger. As Erica suggested, give herself a high rise hotel room visit every so often. Your own house? Girl that is not safe.
Or go to the clubs. Lots of options. Unless you want some random to break in and rape you.

I've never had this line of fantasy CMD. Mine is more the disclosing in public type of exhibitionism. These fantasies have only sprung up since I've been single. In my early thirties I was child rearing. So I can see why this girl is a little bit full of herself, with her youthful sexual power. She's got to be smart though.
I think it's a fantasy where a woman honours her sexual power. She believes exposing her luscious body to the world and self pleasuring will be warmly received. A woman has to be confident about her own sexuality to attract a mate, so it's keeping that important aspect alive.
acting it out though? The fantasy, one controls all the variables, real life just isn't like that.
@22--both the young woman in her own home and the ancient men drying their balls in the locker room have a right to be naked in those spaces. Avert your eyes if it's distasteful.
Lava @ 21
I see your point, let me rethink the advanced options edition.
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I am definitely a dont-give-a-damn-what-people-see-or-don't-see-ist. I think everyone should be free to do whatever they want in their own house. If someone sees me walking around naked or masturbating or whatever and takes offense, I agree with Fresh@23 that the offended party has every right to avert their eyes and mind their own business. And I say this with some experience, as my spouse and I were gleefully shagging in the nude on the couch in mid-afternoon in our rural neighborhood when a fellow we didn't know walked right by our window, calling for his dog which had slipped its leash and run into our back yard. To his credit, if he saw anything he found shocking, he kept it to himself. We both threw on robes and went out to find out why he was there, and between the three of us, we got his dog back on the leash and met the new neighbor. He is now a good friend, and none of us have ever discussed that day ever since.
Personal anecdotes aside, Dan never really answered LW's concerns about potential stalkers. I would say that it depends on your personal circumstances. Do you live with someone who could help defend you, in the case of a home invasion? If not, do you have a LOCAL support system of friends or family - people who could come instantly if you sent out an SOS? (911 counts here, but only if you are willing to risk being the only emergency they are currently facing, and only if you live close to where the most likely after-hours responder ls staying on-call.) Failing either of those conditions, do you think your neighborhood is a fairly safe and sane area, with the exception of the occasional exhibitionist at her window? And if none of the above, do you possess a lethal weapon, are you prepared to use it if necessary, and are you well-trained in its use and all of its potential misuses? (For all of the gun-haters screaming in agony at this point, I am also referring to advanced martial arts, knives, baseball bats, cast iron frying pans, and similar heavy objects - all of which are formidable and potentially lethal deterrents to would-be attackers.)

If you fail all of the above conditions, LW, then you do not currently have enough insurance to protect you against the rare psychopath who might interpret your casual exhibitionism as a sexual invitation. Your best bet is to limit your exhibitionist streak to anonymous hotel rooms, webcams, and sex clubs, as Dan and others have suggested. However, if your fantasy revolves around showing off your body to people you might know from within your own home, then the good news is that you can set up at least one of these safety countermeasures before you ever take your clothes off. Good luck, LW!
@16Helen Nuschler MD: Curious about your assessment of Utah and Hawaii being the highest porn users. When I googled, I didn't find that at all, at least according to Pornhub's data:…
Or here, a bit older:…

Also, what makes you think Hawaii's distance from America makes it a higher porn user? That's so silly, as if there's not a thriving scene there. After all, it IS the midpoint between America and SE Asia, with a thriving kinkster scene. Plus it is also the politically Blue-est state in the Union, largely liberal and accepting of sexual variety--transgenderism has been celebrated in traditional Hawaiian culture for centuries. It is a destination for same-sex weddings.

Maybe you think the distance means Hawaii is less "modern" than mainland America? That's debatable on some fronts, but technologically--fun fact--the Hawaiian Kingdom's Iolani Palace had electric lighting before the White House.

There is a connection between Utah and Hawaii however, as Hawaii has a very large Mormon population. Maybe that was your point?
Spidie @27, just a hunch but I doubt that Helen Nuschler MD is using their true first name, last name, or professional affiliation. Good on you for challenging this "medical" data and providing links for readers to cross-check.
Think it's interesting how lax some of the commenters are on the issue of consent as it relates to exhibitionism.

This isn't a matter of a person having to avert his or her eyes in a locker room, or a person stepping out of the shower and putting on clothes with the window open. These particular scenarios are contrived with the goal of involving people in the sex life of the exhibitionist against their will. That's not okay. And for that matter, what would the reaction be to a man wondering if it were okay to masturbate in front of the window in the hopes that some of the neighborhood women might see him? (They can just avert their eyes!)

To be clear, I'm not trying to say this is the same as rape. It's not. But this does have to do with consent and respect for others. If my neighbor contrived some scenario where I would see her masturbate without my wanting to or agreeing beforehand, I would feel disrespected and highly annoyed.

Dan got this one completely right. There are a lot of ways to act out this fantasy that involve people who know (and want) what they're in for.
Personal anecdote. Back when I was young, broke and foolish, a small group of friends and I decided to play a game of strip poker. This culminated with five of us wrapping in blankets, running down to the main street, doing a group flash and dashing back to the apartment. Within seconds the doorbell rang. My roommate quickly threw on a pair of jeans while the rest of us hid. The two men standing outside said "There were four naked girls who invited us to come back here." [They got one person's gender wrong.] My quick-thinking roommate said, "Man, if I had four naked girls in here, would I be coming to the door?"

LW, the risk is real.
Achaiwoi: On the scale of humanity as a whole, almost every thirtysomething female is "relatively attractive."
Gonna agree that exhibitionism done without consent is sexual assault. You're getting off on displaying yourself sexually to someone *who has not consented* to participate in your sex play. Don't do it. Go somewhere (kink club, play party, etc.) where people have agreed to participate, or set up a naughty webcam account with a 'oh this is just a surveillance camera left on as I parade around naked or whatever' theme.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big 'naked in the privacy of my home cause I'm lazy' fan, and I think people can be naked in the locker rooms. However, there's a difference between being comfortable in the nude and intentionally getting your jollies off by flashing. Again, don't do sexual things with or to people without their consent.
@29: "And for that matter, what would the reaction be to a man wondering if it were okay to masturbate in front of the window in the hopes that some of the neighborhood women might see him? (They can just avert their eyes!) "

Let alone being okay with potentially exposing his masturbation to kids.
@5 - Many years ago, I heard of a case where a man was arrested for being naked in his home after a woman complained that her young sons *might* have seen him naked. She didn't say the kids *did* see him naked, only that they might have. Case was thrown out after it came out that the only window through which she could see into his apartment required standing on a chair in her closet.

@ 3 - I'm not sure her fantasies are about violating consent. That is, I'm not convinced that it's about "unwitting" people seeing her. It may be about her not having control over who sees her. They're consenting to see her but she doesn't get to decide who does and does not see her. In which case, a webcam *might* fulfill those fantasies. But it might be too removed, too. So the swingers club might be an option that works for her, or a nude beach (especially one where nudity is permitted but not frequently done, so she still has the possibility of being the only one naked), or a trusted partner or friend arranging for a party where she's shown off, etc.

I get the inappropriateness of violating other people's consent in participating in the kinks, but I think there are ways she can still fulfill her fantasies without doing so. I'd love for her to write back and elaborate.
Doing this from your own home (if true) would show an astounding lack of judgement. Not only are you advertising your naked presence to any random perv or worse who happens to walk by (and, let's face it, your average sex offender probably isn't the best at reading signals that say, "look, but don't touch without permission"), but you are inviting any sanctimonious neighbors to call the cops and cause whatever trouble they can (which could be considerable, if you live in a Trumped up part of town.) Perhaps a little pre-screening would lessen the danger...a note to a selected guy or two to drop by your sidewalk at 9:45? Another option might be to move next door to me (I promise not to object!) Other than that, get on the Internet and search out your local Swing/Lifestyle chapter, where you can be as exhibitionist as you want! If your goal is to shock innocent bystanders, I think you might just have to dial back your goals and use a little more imagination...I'm sure the audience at most sex parties would be happy to play along and feign shock and awe at beholding your "smokin' bod."
Spidieweed @27 "it IS the midpoint between America and SE Asia"

Ah, I think you nailed it. There are LOTS of Asian tourists in Hawaii, and is hotel wifi perhaps their best opportunity to view porn without the naughty bits fuzzed out and without fearing a browser history left on the home/work computer network?
The “Advanced Exhibitionist” advice I had in mind meant to be the ethical practice of some aspects of this urge. It is my impression that few others here expressed this very sentiment.
Here are some “guidelines” I’ve gathered over the years based on my very own as well as others’ experiences:
Offer lovers to give them a show (and feel free to ask for return if you’re so inclined.)

Model for artists (and if you are a penis-haver who may not feel comfortable having an erection in front of the whole class, then masturbate in the toilet just before.)

Take bourlesque/boylesque classes and consider performing.

If you go online with like-minded people make sure to cover your face or not show it at all. This may be revoked after you meet in person, exchange ID’s, etc.

If you go online with money-minded people make sure to cover your face or not show it at all. Be respectful just like in a non-paid situation and ask in advance if what you have in mind is ok with the person you’re communicating with. Tip vigorously.

Some hobbies can also be a source of income, not to mention part of the thrill: If you’re a straight woman you have quite a few options, like offering a strip/ masturbation show for bachelor parties. I’d stay away from being a cam girl, as you will most likely have to expose your face most of the time.
GLBTQ etc. of any persuasion may also have a niche.
If you’re a straight man and thought you're doomed then you should check out Simon’s site. He is a fine, fairly hairy British gentleman in his 30’s or so, not a body builder yet (very) well endowed who can seemingly get it up on demand when the environment is right, all along being very accommodating and accommodated by the partying women celebrating birthdays, weddings, divorces, “life drawings,” and the like.

Apparently all pictures on his site were sent from the partying parties, some look professionally shot. Check out the galleries, especially that no-t one.

Interesting and Extensive list for the "Advanced Exhibitionist", CMD. And Donny, good of you to offer yourself as a viewer.

LW's letter read more like a desire stemming from narcissism than the "getting off on shocking others" kind of exhibitionism, which would explain why she would even entertain the idea of masturbating in front of a window hoping others would see (she does not really get a chance to see that someone is watchign in this case). If she wants to be admired by strangers so badly, she can get a webcam as others have suggested and find some consenting adults to be a part of your fantasy. You could even get paid for it if you wanted.
@38 Lavagirl - Sometimes you have to take one for the team...I'm just a helpful kind of guy :-)
@39 indeed. This is more a fantasy about feeling desired and being some sort of tempting siren than about getting off on making other People uncomfortable. I think going to a sex club could give LW the thrill she's looking for.
I can't believe how relatively accepting most people are about this. I'm a sex positive, open person, but have been traumatized by TOO many flashers and public mastubators over the years, starting in childhood. It always feels like a touchless assault. If this were a guy, people would be going berserk. It's just plain creepy and upsetting seeing someone get off on exposing themselves to a random, unsuspecting person for the shock value. Period.
I used to live over the fence from a girl or very young woman who liked changing in front of the window facing my house, bending over while facing away from the window, coming out from the shower and dropping her towel to stroll around for a while picking out clothes before putting any on., etc. I was already pretty sure if it was on purpose, but I got much more sure when she was in her backyard with a friend and shouted "we think you're hot" at me. I was about ready to climb the retaining wall and fence to introduce myself before I remembered that (1) I'm happily married, (2) I was pretty sure she was underage, and (3) the wall was at least 8 feet and the fence another 6 (there was a tree I could climb, but I would almost certainly have killed myself trying. So, I just said "thanks." Thank goodness for (1) and (3) or I might have been willing to risk prison.

I'm sure she also saw my wife in our windows and probably figured I was somebody pretty safe to tease.

Yeah. I guess I'm bragging a bit, but my point is that, while this may not be a good idea, a certain (probably large) percentage of men will be very grateful if you do this and masturbate fantasizing about it frequently. I know I did. That was VERY hot for me.
@42 But she's not a man and it does matter. Unsolicited male nudity is threatening to men and women because men do rape people and a man who doesn't respect boundaries is a real threat. Rapes by women are very rare, so the threat and common reaction to female exhibitionism are different.

If the neighbor in my story @43 had not exposed herself to me and, instead, I tried to catch her eye and jerked off while leering at her, I might have expected a visit from the police. I'm not sure that I would have broken any laws by exposing myself inside my own home to a person who could have looked away or closed her blinds.

Oh, speaking of blinds reminds me that sometimes she'd get out of bed, open her blinds and then change out of her PJs. Then I had to hope my wife didn't catch me wandering around with a hard on. The added evidence that her exhibitionism was deliberate made it even hotter for me. Ah, I still have fond memories of that girl or woman who I never met.
I get the feeling that FLASH wants to engage in her exhibitionism without knowing whether someone is watching her or who it is. It seems the naughtiness and transgressiveness of walking around naked gives her thrills. Maybe she could find a nudist resort and walk around naked in her room.
From the psychological perspective, it sounds like NOT getting consent is exactly the point - the whole "unsuspecting" part of "an unsuspecting stranger" makes that impossible - so to whatever degree that's accurate, exhibitionism is impossible to practice ethically within an ethical framework that considers genitals or sexual activity something that people ought to consent to see (though considering the number of couples sitting next to me at bars that have had over-the-clothes sex and haven't been asked to leave let alone arrested, I'm not really convinced that our society generally subscribes to the ethical framework). If the knowing she's being watched is the more important part to FLASH and she doesn't really care about the viewer being unsuspecting, sex clubs or a webcam (or a nudist space, though those usually disallow public sexual activity - keep your thrills about being naked in front of others secret) should do the trick, though ANYONE doing sexy things on a webcam needs to be aware that recording the feed is trivial (anything on the user's end can be captured from the display frame buffer or via the analog hole, so even attempts at "secure" media platforms like those used by commercial video streaming sites can't actually prevent this), so I would advise that one generally assume one is being recorded.
People here keep mentioning the possibility of masturbating to strangers in sex clubs and I wonder if they can elaborate on that matter.
I didn’t mention the seen above activity as an option in my “advanced” advice because I’m not that familiar with the scene. The few places I went to that might qualify did not encourage solo performances, though it could be that women are more likely to get away with it.

Please broaden my ethical exhibitionist horizons.

@47 - It depends on the theme of the night, sometimes. I attended a 'Me, Myself & I' party that was more or less people flashing themselves and others wanking to it. Touching was permitted, but only if all parties consented, and it never really devolved into full-on sex. Mostly a lot of eyeballing each other and jerking off. As you might imagine, the majority of the audience was male-bodied. Quite a thrill to be ogled in a safe space.
Cocky @49, can't the unlucky people in the apartments across from LW close their shades, or simply move away from the window, if they don't like what they see out there? I can see what you are saying about locker-room exhibitionists, because that is a shared public space and it does create a very creepy vibe. But I still think people should be able to walk around naked and engage in sexual activity within their own homes even if there is a chance they may be spotted, and the idea that a stranger would presume to take offense (let alone legal action!) at your nudity or sex acts BECAUSE THEY INTENTIONALLY OR UNINTENTIONALLY PEEPED INTO YOUR WINDOW, is highly offensive to me.

However, I do agree that LW's exercise of her home privacy rights could escalate into a public nuisance if she chooses to pose nude for extended periods, masturbate, or have partnered sex directly in front of a well-lit window on multiple occasions, depending on how "public" the space outside her window happens to be. That could be a case of inflicting her exhibitionism on others, even though she is still technically "at home." But simply passing by a well-lit window every now and then, making it a daily habit to dress and undress there every day, or setting up a couch or a bed directly underneath the window, at an angle where only a nearby Peeping Tom would realize she is masturbating? Nah. Anyone who watches her that closely is there by choice.

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