There must be a Yankee candle scent of maple syrup, or start your own maple syrup farm?

@1 Was just going to share a link. There are many, but this one has pancakes on the label so you know it's legit.
https://www.ebay.com/p/Maple-Syrup-Jar-Candle-Crossroads-Buttered-Mason-Premium-6-Oz-Holiday/26011723041?iid=153066683662&chn=ps

I kind of miss the days when Dan was still sharp enough to spot a fake letter, and call bullshit on it.

Ah well. Money changes everything, eh?

The letter is likely a fake, but if it's real nothing more to say in addition to Dan's soothing advice.

If my love wanted me to smell like maple syrup I would smell like maple syrup. NBD.

Pick up a little Maple flavouring
(don't get the imitation; your dick knows the dif)
at Trader Joes or Safeway
and have her dab on a bit...

Ever been to the N.E., Februaryish thru March*?
You may never come back.

*it's sappin' time!

I feel like I stumbled into the pages of Seanan McGuire’s Discount Armageddon (a delightful read). Sir, are you by chance a Madhura? :) You should read this book, it might make you feel better. As someone who loves scent and men who smell nice, I would be simply charmed by a gentleman who wanted me to smell like sugar for him. I can picture all sorts of sweet exchanges. I hope you find someone who feels like that.

I feel like I stumbled into the pages of Seanan McGuire’s Discount Armageddon (a delightful read). Sir, are you by chance a Madhura? :) You should read this book, it might make you feel better. I’m old and taken, but I can tell you, as someone who loves scent and men who smell nice, I would be simply charmed by a gentleman who wanted me to smell like sugar for him.

Sorry for the dual post. Login issues. Didn’t see a delete option.

Only fuck quebeccers

Mr Savage should have shown his work; I'm not at all sure how he got to "endearing", however nice a thing it was to say.

Already rerun last october.
https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2018/10/10/33660462/the-scent-of-a-woman-doused-in-sap

Am I seriously going to be the first to say it? Yes? Really? Fine.

I'd tap that.

(I'm going for "endearing," in other words.)

I just read a letter in another sex advice column from a woman whose husband keeps bullying her to have anal sex even though it literally makes her cry from pain and disgust every single time. That woman should DTMF yesterday. Partners of this fellow should dab a little natural maple extract on their pressure pints before sex and thank their lucky stars (Not that I should have to issue this disclaimer, but I’m just fine with anal sex).

@14 😂😂👍👍👍

Maybe LW should look for dates at IHOPs.

Although some of it's bone dry, read the case descriptions in "Psychopathia Sexualis." I remember there was someone who could only get off with a woman who limped in a certain leg. The other wouldn't do it for him.

@3 --- I remember Dr. Ruth saying back in the day that even if a letter was screamingly, obviously fake, she would treat it like it was for real because there will always be someone out there for whom that ridiculous/ hilarious/ unbelievable problem is real.

Oh, and I know I'm nitpicking, but this kind of thing amuses me. The headline should say "He can get hard ONLY WHEN smelling maple syrup," meaning that's the only time he can get hard.

"He can ONLY get hard WHEN smelling" sounds like that's the only thing he can do, he can't do anything else. (Which might also be true)

@17 biggie: Awww, rats! I was just about to say that. You beat me to it for the WIN. Bravo!
@19 this guy I know in Spokane: Good ol' Dr. Ruth. "Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!" Who'd have thought it would involve pancakes?

Oh @14 it was worth running this letter a third time to rack up that one. And now it's done with.

Who doesn't love breakfast?

Has he considered moving to Canada?

As much as I'm enjoying all the pancakes & Canada jokes, I think everyone is missing the point, or at least an important point. The LR doesn't seem to already be in a relationship, he mentions dating. If he really cannot get aroused without the smell of maple syrup, how exactly should he broach this to a date? I would think it would have to be brought up before they hit the sheets for the first time. I don't see that Dan (or any commenters) addressed this issue.

@25 I’m sure you can surreptitiously have maple syrup scented something (pillows, sheets, lube) the first few times you fuck. Eventually it will be broached.

@LW, ever since my first tap&boil in the third grade i have been obsessed with real maple syrup.
i already live in the Adirondacks, right next to Vermont, perhaps we were meant to be together?
oh, right, you aren't real...

Hoo-rah, organized sex trips to the maple tappers ball.
Amtrak?

@7 & @28 kristofarian: I can see it: LW rides the Empire Builder to N.E.; tapping,, loving, and munching all the way. If there's a 24/7 breakfast bar on board, he'll be in maple heaven.

What is the problem here? My god.. any excuse to have or be around maple syrup.

Ive read this somewhere before so either this guy hasn't solved his problem or he's a copycat.
A quick GIS didn't find what I was looking for but I'm telling you, Ive read this before. Maybe I am having a deja vu.
I did learn there is a thing called Pancake Sex, so maybe he could get on Fet Life and start a group.

Pancake Sex

When a group of people have sex stacked on top of each other. This can contain any number of men or women so long as it more than two(regular sex), but less than 5 (an orgy).
Call Martha and Bob over. I'm hungry for some hot, syrupy pancake sex.

You have read it before axion. Maybe a couple of times.

LW: your situation suddenly made me envision a scene from the 1990 film, Ghost, involving Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, with Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers playing in the background. You could mentally replace the pottery wheel, kiln, and blob of clay with a stack of pancakes...

@33: I'm not trying to be mean, here. If food and cooking are among the LW's passions, he could entice a prospective GF over for a romantic home-cooked breakfast, yes?