1. What advice do you have for young people who want to have an open conversation with their partners about changing aspects of their sex life to make it more pleasurable without hurt feelings or awkwardness?
What’s more likely to lead to major hurt: A few awkward conversations now that (hopefully) lead to better conversations (and sex) in the future? Or… avoiding awkwardness and eventually reaching a point down the road where the sex isn’t that great so you have it less and less until one of you cheats or leaves? Your choice.
2. Dealing with cultural differences: My boyfriend is Italian and weirdly superstitious; at times, it’s anti-science. Not sure what to do here.
Keep your mouth shut, your legs open, and get that EU passport.
3. Do you...
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1. What advice do you have for young people who want to have an open conversation with their partners about changing aspects of their sex life to make it more pleasurable without hurt feelings or awkwardness?
What’s more likely to lead to major hurt: A few awkward conversations now that (hopefully) lead to better conversations (and sex) in the future? Or… avoiding awkwardness and eventually reaching a point down the road where the sex isn’t that great so you have it less and less until one of you cheats or leaves? Your choice.
2. Dealing with cultural differences: My boyfriend is Italian and weirdly superstitious; at times, it’s anti-science. Not sure what to do here.
Keep your mouth shut, your legs open, and get that EU passport.
3. Do you like tighty-whities?
What’s not to like?
4. We’re two late-blooming bi people in a monogamous relationship. We have small children. Tips for exploring being bi?
Next time grandma babysits… say you’re going to the movies but go to a sex club or a swingers party or a mixed queer space, etc. Meet some people, fuck some people. (Pro tip: whoever isn’t driving should read the synopsis of the film you told grandma you were going to see out loud in the car on your way home. You wanna be prepared to answer grandma’s questions. Trust me.)
5. Will semen damage your tooth enamel if you swallow and then sleep without brushing again?
Have you seen my teeth?
6. Is it pee?
Does it matter?
7. My boyfriend and I have just started messing around with chastity. I have been interested in it for a while and got a cock cage, and he put it on for him yesterday. It really turns me on letting him have this much control and I wanna keep going. Any advice as we start this out? Getting kinky with him is so much fun, and I want to get as much out of it as we can!
“They should check out Reddit’s r/chastitytraining for online help, community, and resources,” said Dark-Blue and DB-Vice in a joint statement. Dark-Blue is a dominant hot wife and DB-Vice is her locked (and cucked) husband. “For detailed sizing guides and high-quality cages, look at KINK3D. Our own advice: put your health first — watch out for swelling, discoloration, or excessive pain at night. Always remember: chastity play is more mental than physical, and that cage is a means to an end. The end being a constant reminder in your pants of your keyholder’s control and your submission.”
Follow Dark-Blue and DB-Vice on Twitter @DarkBlueGoddess.
8. My husband, a trans man, died unexpectedly. How do I respectfully dispose of his dicks?
I’m so sorry for your loss. If I were in your shoes, it would break my heart to re-home or otherwise dispose of my husband’s dicks. I would put them in a box, tuck them away on a high shelf someplace, and let my heirs worry about what to do with them when my time comes. Again, so sorry for your loss.
9. I can’t make plans the way I did when I was single because of my partner’s anxiety. What do I do?
Partnered people can’t make plans the way single people can — you have to take your partner into consideration, you have to check in with your partner, you can’t fly off to Europe on a moment’s notice or disappear into a sex dungeon for a weekend. But while you need to be considerate of your partner and their anxiety, you can’t let their anxiety control you — and you should be wary of a partner who leverages their anxiety to isolate or control you. Basically, if you’re never allowed to do anything on your own or see anyone on your own or make plans on your own because it makes your partner anxious… that’s not a partnership, it’s a hostage situation.
10. I hate it when my sub bites me as I’m fucking him but he’s SO into it. I want him to be happy! Do I tell him?
Seeing as he’s your sub, you should be able to order him to knock it off. If you still wanna let him bite you once in a while because it makes him happy… you could fold biting into your existing D/s dynamic. Identify something he hates but is willing to endure to please you — kind of like you’ve been willing to endure his biting — and punish him with that thing he hates-but-can-endure (flogging? tit clamps? piss?) whenever he bites you. But make sure it’s not something he loves to endure, as that would incentivize the biting.
11. Most overrated public sex location?
CPAC.
12. Mid 40s bi/pan woman here who is afraid to fuck women because I do not know what to do. Advice?
Put that in your personal ad — no experience with other women — and you won’t hear from women who aren’t interested in fucking women who don’t already know their way around a vulva. The women you do hear from will either be open to showing you around your first vulva or actively turned on by the thought of being your first/breaking you in.
13. How do I convince my fuck bud that I’m serious that I’m not afraid of/turned off by anal accidents!
It’s nice that you don’t want your fuck buddy to think you’re turned off when shit happens — literally — but you don’t want your fuck buddy to think you’re turned on when shit happens either. So, suggest a shower break, give him a minute to breathe (or something to eat if he’s been starving himself all day), then finish on him not in him.
14. Monogamously nosy: What’s your take on those “no fooling around with friends” clauses?
Open couples get to create their own rules — just like closed couples do — and lots of open couples have rules against fucking friends. But unless a couple also has a “one-and-done/fun-and-done” rule, i.e. a rule against repeats, refusing to treat a regular third with kindness and decency is deeply shitty behavior. Not offering benefits to friends is understandable — I get it — but denying friendship to someone who’s regularly offering you benefits? That’s not okay.
15. Open m/m couple. I lose interest in my partner — temporarily — after he’s had a hookup because I don’t want to compete. Am I the asshole?
Depends. If you’re withholding sex to punish your partner for having sex with someone else — something you’re both allowed to do — in the hopes that he’ll think twice before having sex with other people for fear of upsetting you, then you’re the asshole. If you’re just insecure about direct-and-immediate comparisons and/or the whole “reclaiming” thing isn’t a turn-on for you and you’ve let your partner know (more than once) that this is a “you” problem and not a “him” problem, then you’re not the asshole.
16. Hubs loves having his balls kicked/smashed. Safe healthy ball play limits?
You’re going to want to take tiny, baby-steps — or tiny, baby-kicks — to figure out where your husband’s limits are. If he’s like most guys who enjoy having their balls busted, you’ll wind up kicking him harder than you think you should but not as hard as you can. But please note: ball busting is risky.
17. Two months ago, I started noticing something that looked like clumps of slightly yellowish jelly in my cum. What’s wrong?
Probably nothing. Jelly-like clumps can appear in a man’s semen if it’s been a while since he’s had an orgasm — but those clumps can also be a symptom of a prostate problem or sexually transmitted infection. If you’re not experiencing other symptoms, they’ll probably go away on their own. If clumps persist, get an STI screening and have your prostate checked.
