Credit: Joe Newton

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Iโ€™m a bi girlย in a serious relationship with a bi guy, and said bi guy has a major thing for being cucked. Weโ€™ve had a few threesomes before, but only with bisexuals and the focus was on all three of us equally. Recently, though, we had a 2-on-1 threesome with a straight guy, and it was GOOD for me.ย Reallyย good. Nothing would make me happier than to go on a spree (with protection, of course) of fucking around with guys, my boyfriend fucking around with guys, the two of us fucking around with other guys together, etc. Have you seen men lately? Good stuff. I want to go full speed ahead, but my boyfriend is conflicted. On one hand: immeasurable arousal, fulfillment of his cuckold fantasies, etc. On the otherโ€ฆ intense jealousy and anxiety! And on my end? An irrepressible hunger that wasnโ€™t there before. I love my boyfriend so much and our sex life is amazing, but my appetite canโ€™t be satiated by just one guy anymore! Please help!

Down To Cuck

โ€œFirst, this is an amazing problem to have,โ€ said Hopeful Cuck, one of four co-hosts ofย Cuck My Life, the podcast for cucks by cucks. โ€œTheyโ€™re on a journey, an adventure, and theyโ€™re in store for some pretty amazing sex. So, however they go about this, Iโ€™m sure theyโ€™re going to have a lot of fun.โ€

I never like to contradict a guest expert โ€”ย especially one as qualified as Hopeful Cuck โ€” but it sounds to me like youโ€™re already having fun; you donโ€™t say how long youโ€™ve been together, but youโ€™ve had more threesomes in the time youโ€™ve been together than most people have in a lifetime. Whatever else youโ€™re into, itโ€™s pretty clear youโ€™re not into delayed gratification.ย But youโ€™re moving into trickier emotional territory, DTC, and if you donโ€™t want to screw this up for yourself โ€”ย and a cuck boyfriend sounds like your ideal partner, DTC, so you really donโ€™t wanna screw this up โ€”ย youโ€™re gonna need to move at your boyfriendโ€™s speed.

โ€œHer partner is nervous,โ€ said Hopeful. โ€œHe is experiencing โ€˜cuck angst,โ€™ that special sauce that each cuck experiences differently. There is no one piece of advice that will fix this, it has to be a multi-pronged approach. First, they need to talk to one another. What expectations, ideas, fantasies do each of them have around this kink? Does he want to be humiliated? Does she feel comfortable humiliating him? How do their desires align? How do they differ?โ€

Basically, DTC, you need to insist that your boyfriend to explain to you โ€”ย in exhausting detail โ€” exactly what cuckolding means to him, exactly what excites him about being cuckolded, and exactly what kind of cuckold he wants to be. And thatโ€™s not a conversation you can have in an Uber on your way to the apartment of a hot straight guy whoโ€™s down to fuck you in front of your cuck boyfriend.

โ€œThings feel close to boiling over right now,โ€ saidย Aussie Cuck, another one of the hosts ofย Cuck My Life, โ€œand Iโ€™d suggest cooling things down a little. They should explore the fantasy together without a third. Use toys while he watches but canโ€™t touch. She should talk him through what her โ€˜imaginary bullโ€™ is doing. Try light humiliation or even chastity play. These shallow-end steps let them test how the power dynamic fits their relationship. Once theyโ€™ve built trust and clarity, theyโ€™ll be in a stronger place to invite someone else in.โ€

I never like to contradict a guest expert โ€” especially one as qualified as Aussie Cuck โ€” but youโ€™ve already had someone else in. (Some hot straight guy was quite literally in you, right?) But when your boyfriend brought up cuckolding, he wasnโ€™t just talking about you fucking other guys or the two of you fucking other guys together. Threesomes are one thing โ€” an emotionally tricky thing for many couples โ€” but if your boyfriend is truly a cuck, heย wantsย you to make him feel anxious and insecureโ€ฆ without making him feelย tooย anxious orย tooย insecure. Figuring out the right balance between jealousy and arousal is going to take some serious thought, DTC, not just some other guys.

โ€œBeing a cuckoldress or a hotwife isnโ€™t a hall pass to sleep with anyone, anytime,โ€ said Aussie Cuck. โ€œItโ€™s a responsibility, especially while heโ€™s still figuring out his boundaries and the kind of cuck dynamic he wants. If he truly has a cuck fantasy, why does her being with another man spark jealousy when theyโ€™ve already shared that space? Does it feel different if the third is male rather than female? Or is he scared of being left behind while she dives in deeper?โ€

Final question for you, DTC: If your boyfriend is a cuck, it means something very specific to him when you sleep with another man, particularly a man you canโ€™t share, i.e. a straight guy whoโ€™s only interested in you. So, what does it mean to you when he sleeps with another man? Some people will insist that youโ€™re doing it wrong โ€” that your boyfriend isnโ€™t really a cuckold โ€” if he gets to fuck other people, too. Hopeful, Aussie, and I agree that you should ignore those people.

โ€œThere is no โ€˜right wayโ€™ to do this, and no wrong way, either,โ€ said Hopeful. โ€œYou just need to figure out how you can do it in a way that will meet the majority of both of your needs.โ€

Still, if you donโ€™t feel jealousย andย turned on when he fucks other men โ€” if all you feel is turned on โ€”ย then heโ€™s obviously not cuckolding you when he fucks around. Your relationship could wind up being a rare melding of a cuck kink with a hotwifing/husbanding/partnering kink: heโ€™s your sub when you cuck him (fucking other guys is about your pleasure) and heโ€™s still your sub when he gets fucked by another guy (because him fucking other guys pleases you). Iโ€™m speculating here โ€”ย only you know what it means to you when he fucks other guys โ€”ย but your feelings, needs, and meanings also need to be a part of the conversation.

Last word goes to our guest experts:

โ€œThis is a high wire act,โ€ said Hopeful. โ€œYou both need to understand that mistakes happen. Rules and boundaries get broken. The heat of the moment can be intense. Be ready to forgive missteps. Talk about these things and adjust your relationship accordingly.โ€

โ€œLearn to swim together before diving deep โ€”ย that way, the chances of shared pleasure and success are much greater,โ€ said Aussie Cuck.

Follow Hopeful Cuck on Twitterย @New_Hopeful, follow Aussie Cuck on Twitterย @CuckooCuck, andย Cuck My Lifeย is available on all podcasting platforms.

Iโ€™ve finally metย the one, or so I thought. Iโ€™m 40 and have dated a lot. A few months ago, I started dating a kind, generous, funny, emotionally intelligent man and I have a deep intuitive sense that heโ€™s my person, and Iโ€™m his. We havenโ€™t had a lot of sex (weโ€™re both very busy). The first time we had sex, he went down on me, he told me he loves going down (that itโ€™s his favorite thing to do), but he hasnโ€™t again since. I asked him about it, and in the most gentle and hesitant way he told me that he finds my pussy overwhelmingly โ€œaromaticโ€ and thatโ€™s why heโ€™s kept his face away from it. Iโ€™ve never heard this before and have had other partners who spent lots of time down there with no problems; and I also always wash my leggings after one wear because theyโ€™re good and ripe and need it, as Iโ€™m generally a pretty juicy woman. My initial reaction was to consider what I might do differently (classic anxious attachment go-to), shower before sex; change my pubic hair maintenance; find and take a magical pussy-smell enhancing pill; change my diet; see the ob-gyn about possible bacterial factors โ€” you tell me, Iโ€™m willing. I really like this guy and want him to want to eat me all night long. Iโ€™m super bummed that my natural odor turns him off. Maybe itโ€™s not going to work between us after all? I donโ€™t want to be with someone who isnโ€™t super into my lady parts.

Scents And Sensitivities

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