29. RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB: An antagonist is only as good as his implements.

Curtains

Perhaps I should start by explaining why I chose to watch this largely unknown 1983 Canadian slasher film. Meditating on today’s prompt, “right tool for the job,” I tried to think of an unusual murder weapon. I recently started taking ice skating lessons, so naturally, I Googled “movie where person gets killed with an ice skate.” The trailer for Curtains came up. I was pretty much sold immediately from the extremely yonic movie poster to the potential for death-by-ice-skate and the premise of actresses literally killing each other for a lead role.

A sleazy Hollywood director named Stryker welcomes five young actresses to his rural New England mansion to audition for the titular role of a mentally unstable woman in his new film Audra. Shortly after the women arrive, Stryker’s former muse—a washed-up, previously institutionalized actress named Samantha Sherwood—arrives to steal back the role. One by one, the young actresses begin to disappear until only one is left standing. 

Spoiler alert: There is, unfortunately, no ice skate-slashing in this film. But what happens might be even more absurd. A young actress named Christie in a mohair hat and gloves starts her morning by free-skating on a frozen pond while an unidentified soft rock song plays on her boom box. When the tape suddenly stops, she skates over to troubleshoot the machine. Then, she notices a little hand peeking out of the snow. Sweeping the snow aside, she discovers a large doll with long brown hair and a pink dress. She gazes at the doll and laughs before noticing a masked figure dressed in black skating towards her with a sickle (this is the actual murder tool). Both Christie and the doll are decapitated. 

The killer is a bizarre female Michael Meyers-type character wearing a gigantic rubber mask with frizzy orange hair and sagging jowls—described by most of the internet as a “hag mask.” In many ways, this film is a classic who-done-it slasher. However, there are absurd elements that simultaneously make no sense while making the seemingly straightforward film into something special. 

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The Stranger is participating in Scarecrow Video’s Psychotronic Challenge all month long! Every October, Scarecrow puts together a list of cinematic themes and invites folks to follow along and watch a horror, sci-fi, or fantasy flick that meets the criteria. This year, Stranger staffers are joining the fun and we’re sharing our daily recommendations here on Slog! Read more about Scarecrow’s 2024 challenge—and get the watch list—here. And you can track our daily recommendations here! 💀