30. EXHUMATION POINT: Digging up the past one coffin at a tomb time.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Welp, bury me, I'm dead.

Not really, but yeesh. I'll cut to the chase: Bob Clark's 1972 film Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things might fit the "exhumation" theme for today's challenge, but it also has some of the worst acting I've witnessed. It manages to be very annoying, too, as though an early '70s improv troupe dressed as Scooby-Doo characters decided to test out Satanic rituals. The first hour of CSPWDT is a string of constant one-liners that refuse to land. The film's lo-fi aesthetics and underground college project feel would be forgivable if it weren't so damn boring—it's a zombie film that takes forever to come to life.

That said, you might consider throwing this film on and skipping to the last 20 minutes. It has a few charms, especially if one considers that CSPWDT was released amid a dramatic evolution in zombie filmmaking. (George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead arrived only four years before this film.) The eerie backwater Florida setting is a fun one, complete with a misty swamp graveyard, and in the film's third act, a proliferation of undead freaks spills from every inch of the screen. CSPWDT's best shot is its final one, though, and not just because it meant the film was ending. A horde of zombies board a docked dinghy as the lights of Miami’s night skyline gleam in the distance.

The most interesting aspect of this flick is its director, Bob Clark, whose filmography could be described as "unhinged," or, at the very least, "eclectic." CSPWDT was one of his first features, and he'd later go on to direct Porky's, A Christmas Story, and Baby Geniuses. It's cinematic whiplash.

Strangest part? Clark's cult classic horror Black Christmas was released just two years after the muddled mess that is CSPWDT. Black Christmas is legitimately terrifying and even popularized a persistent horror trope—a homicidal maniac's phone calls come from inside a sorority house. It's one of my favorites at this time of year. 

My advice? Forget about this movie. Go watch Black Christmas.


The Stranger is participating in Scarecrow Video’s Psychotronic Challenge all month long! Every October, Scarecrow puts together a list of cinematic themes and invites folks to follow along and watch a horror, sci-fi, or fantasy flick that meets the criteria. This year, Stranger staffers are joining the fun and we’re sharing our daily recommendations here on Slog! Read more about Scarecrow’s 2024 challenge—and get the watch list—here. And you can track our daily recommendations here! 💀