* The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension
If only very special things can induce you to stay up past your bedtime, I'd advise checking out the title on this sci-fi adventure tale. Egyptian, Fri-Sat midnight.
Autumn Spring
Fanda, a vigorous octogenarian, enjoys posing as an opera singer, mountaineer, or philanthropist while his wife is busy saving for their funerals. Those Czechs, they know how to live! Varsity, Fri-Sun 2:10, 4:30, 7, 9:20 pm, Mon-Thurs 7, 9:20 pm.
* Bacon, The Film
The Little Theatre's un-official "Oh, Canada" weekend kicks off with a special treat for squeamish carnivores: this 2002 doc about Quebec hog farmers' expansion into international markets. Bacon promises to answer the burning question, "How do pigs affect the earth they snuffle in?" Little Theatre, Fri 7, 9, Sat-Sun 9.
Campaign
Spandex and saltwater in the new surf movie from Taylor Steele. JBL Theater at EMP, Thurs Dec 11 at 8 pm.
* Daughters of the Dust
Julie Dash's period piece about the Gullah people of the Carolinas has been gathering fans and space on college syllabi--but never dust--since 1991. Central Cinema, Sat 2 pm, Sun 7 pm.
Experimental Works by Robert Schaller
Trained in music composition and chemistry, Robert Schaller fashions hand-worked films with a sense of rhythm. The filmmaker will be in attendance for both shows. Little Theater, Thurs Dec 18 at 7, 9 pm.
* It's A Wonderful Life
This lachrymose landmark, featuring James Stewart as a 20th-century Job, stands as one of history's finest films, and a necessary annual reminder of how much of a bummer real life really is. (SEAN NELSON) Grand Illusion, Sat-Sun 3:30, 6, 8:30 pm, Tues-Thurs 6, 8:30 pm.
Marley's Snowboard Film Party
Who knew there were enough snowboard films to comprise a party? If your hand is in the air, you're probably already familiar with the sporty offerings The Garden and Roadkill. Sunset Tavern, Mon Dec 15 at 9 pm.
* Maxime, McDuff, and McDo
Some young Quebeckers battle the Golden Arches as they attempt to unionize a Montreal McDonald's. Little Theatre, Sun Dec 14 at 7 pm.
* The Naked Kiss
The Naked Kiss (1964) aims to titillate with a story of sexual perversity in the suburbs. Rendezvous, Wed Dec 17 at 7:30 pm.
Pills Profits Protest: Voices of Global AIDS Activists
This doc is a fundraiser for the Northwest Coalition for AIDS Treatment in Africa. In other words, you should go. Little Theatre, Wed Dec 17 at 8 pm.
Sankofa
Dystopian time travel, slavery, and revolution in a 1993 film by Haile Germina. Central Cinema, Sat 2 pm, Sun 7 pm.
* Silent Night, Deadly Night
Boy loves Christmas. Boy sees family hacked up by nefarious Santa. Boy grows up to become nefarious Santa himself. Boy hacks up families. Happy holidays! Grand Illusion, Sat Dec 13 at 11 pm.
* Union Trouble: A Cautionary Tale
Filmmaker Magnus Isacsson (who made last year's Maxime, McDuff, and McDo--see above) previously explored union organizing at McDonald's--this time from the Teamsters' perspective--in the 1999 documentary Union Trouble. Sat Dec 13 at 7 pm.
NOW PLAYING
* 21 Grams
Though fragmented and seemingly random, 21 Grams is musical; it feels, moves, and concludes like a massive musical composition. 21 Grams is not a perfect work of art--it gets to be a bit long toward the end--but as with all great music, it manages to leave, once all of its parts come together, a strong impression on the senses. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
* American Splendor
As a comic-book movie, American Splendor is more like Crumb and Ghost World than like Spider Man or The Hulk. Along with a deadpan sense of humor, the focus is entirely on character and not at all on spectacle. There's also a tone found in underground comics that this movie perfectly captures. Smartly constructed and often surprising, American Splendor indulges in how artificial the filmmaking process is, and ends up with a heartfelt portrayal of a very real man. (ANDY SPLETZER)
* Bad Santa
Thank the Lord someone has finally helped take the piss out of Christmas with a pure, spitefully cynical spirit. And that person, surprisingly, is Billy Bob Thornton. The usually despicable actor is the pants-wetting, booze-swilling Man in Red crowning the sour Christmas tree that is Bad Santa. Allowing me to review this movie was one of the best Christmas gifts I could receive this year; it's the antithesis of a feel-good film--actually, it's a feel-shitty film that, if you love brutal humor, will warm you like spiked eggnog. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Brother Bear
The Disney movie you have to take your kids to between Pixar movies.
The Cat In the Hat
Not as terrible as everyone is saying, but still not good. (Dakota Fanning, however, is superb.) Now, with both The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat being thus "tainted," let's just hope Hollywood stays far, far away from One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. (MEGAN SELING)
Elf
No matter how tanked you get before you hit the theater, nothing will change the fact that Elf is a kids' movie. Written and directed by a softened John Favreau (Swingers), Elf is the vehicle that finally puts Will Ferrell on the Jim Carrey path from adult comedian to sensitive family-movie guy. Not that there's anything really wrong with that, but for my comedic dollar, I'd stick with Ferrell's Old School way of doing things. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Gothika
After the murder of her husband, a criminal psychologist (Halle Berry) wakes up on the other side of the plexiglass under the watchful eye of a host of other fucked-up tabloid celebrities (Robert Downey Jr. and Penelope Cruz).
Haunted Mansion
Disney's third film in two years to mine theme-park attractions in place of recognizable plot structure (see Pirates of the Caribbean and The Country Bears--I'm still waiting to see how they're gonna pull a narrative out of those damned spinny teacups), The Haunted Mansion is an exotic thrill ride of humor and excitement and... oh, wait, I'm sorry--I was thinking of something else altogether. No, The Haunted Mansion is pretty much the same ol' live-action shitfest you've come to expect from our good friends from the Magic Kingdom--chock-full of bighearted parents, wisecracking kids, fancy special effects, and a convoluted moral about love or togetherness or something. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
Honey
Honey is about Jessica Alba; about her second shot at superstardom. Her first major attempt was Dark Angel, in which she played a genetically enhanced teenager who was designed by the U.S. Army to be a global killing machine but instead became a bike messenger in post-pulse (post-9/11) Seattle. Though excellent entertainment, the show failed to be the next X-Files for Fox. For her new feature, Honey, hiphop instead of cyberpunk is where her career places all of its bets. She plays a ghetto flower, a girl from the hood who has a heart of gold and a hot body. Alba dances her way to the top of the rap game, the dizzying point at which she discovers that the man who discovered her, her gifted mentor--who like the real director of this film, Bille Woodruff, is a famous rap video director--wants to bone her. She wants his fame; he wants her sex; she says no, and the rest of the film deals with the consequences of this noble decision. Honey is bad, but it never tries to be anything else but bad, which is not true of, say, Save The Last Dance, the rather ambitious rap movie that made Julia Stiles. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
The Human Stain
Director Robert Benton spends most of the film focusing on the relationship between a professor (Sir Anthony Hopkins, a Welshman playing a Jew who is actually an African American) and the last love of his life, a janitor played by a terribly thin Nicole Kidman. The janitor is attracted to the professor's prestige; the professor is attracted to the janitor's youth. They have hot sex and eventually fall in love, and it is the quality of this fall into love, its problems, its complexities, the scandal it generates, that the film revolves around. The conclusion of the affair is the substance of The Human Stain. Nevertheless, the film manages to be lyrical, and the love affair ends, as all love affairs end, tragically. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Intolerable Cruelty
To malign Intolerable Cruelty as the worst Coen brothers film to date is really only a testament to their decades of consistency--a legacy of quirk and pop vision that seems to only improve with age. And despite its relative visual artlessness, Cruelty boasts quality (if not altogether brilliant) performances, a decent amount of humor, and some of the Coens' lyrical delivery. Even the worst Coen brothers movie is still a Coen brothers movie. But with its slapdash directions--and their names deeply buried amongst the screen credits--the whole debacle comes off with the sense that they owed somebody a favor. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
* Kill Bill Vol. 1
The first half of Quentin Tarantino's opus has very little character development, only the thinnest of stories, and more severed limbs than you can count. It is glorious and messy and brilliant, and in just two short months we will witness its resolution. I can't wait. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Last Samurai
We have all seen The Last Samurai before when it was called Gladiator, or Lawrence of Arabia, or Dances with Wolves, and because of this, all the film can offer is the sight of Tom Cruise wielding a lengthy sword--a thought sure to excite fans of childish metaphor, but they may be the only ones. On a positive note, though, there are ninjas. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Looney Tunes Back In Action
Dumb. (MEGAN SELING)
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
See review in next week's issue.
* Lost In Translation
Lost in Translation is a tiny movie, as light as helium and draped upon the thinnest of plots. There is very little conflict, and even fewer twists and turns. It is as close to a miracle as you're likely to get this year. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Love Actually
"Trite" doesn't begin to describe Love Actually, a movie that America will probably gobble up like grease in a bucket of gravy because it's about love and Christmas, and who doesn't like love at Christmas? And really, who doesn't love Hugh Grant? (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Love Don't Cost a Thing
Here's an idea: Let's dig up a musty Patrick Dempsey flick from the '80s, give it a cool, "urban" paint job, and unleash it upon a new generation of teens and tweens. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Woodinville 12
* Master and Commander
If Master and Commander sounds soundly square, that's because square is exactly what the film is; massive and solidly made, Peter Weir's picture is a throwback, of sorts, to the works of David Lean, delivering the sort of rousing, smart, and earnest adventure rarely delivered nowadays. It has been far too long since I'd felt the joy and excitement such spectacular entertainment as Master and Commander provides. This is not to say the film is equal to Lean's Lawrence of Arabia, but that it reminds one of that film's greatness. Big and loud, thrilling and expensive, it is the type of film that only major Hollywood studios can produce. It is also, perhaps, the best work a major Hollywood studio will produce all year. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Matrix Revolutions
And so the bloated series ends, bringing about a resolution (of sorts) to the toil and tomfoolery of Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, et al. What is the Matrix? Who is the Oracle? Are the Machines defeated? For those who still care, each of these questions is answered, in a way, by the conclusion of the trilogy, which means that geeks obsessed with the Wachowski brothers' tangled vision will surely depart the multiplex happy--or, if not happy, at least fully armed with plenty to argue about. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
The Missing
Ron Howard, delivering his first film since A Beautiful Mind was showered with awards, has managed to assemble a chase film, à la John Ford's classic The Searchers (which is its obvious influence), that is lumbering, obvious, and surprisingly unengaging, a film that routinely pauses when it should sprint. The result is not just dull, but, on the whole, a fairly terrible endeavor. (Bradley Steinbacher)
* Mystic River
For all the "inexorability" and "meditation" of its violence, Mystic River feels desperately contrived. Whether director Clint Eastwood has some deep understanding of the nature of violence remains unclear. What is certain is that he knows how to make a movie, even a dumb one, well worth watching. I only wish someone would send him some better books. (SEAN NELSON)
* Pieces Of April
Starring Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson, and Oliver Platt, Pieces of April has a look and feel that I hesitate to label "documentary-like." Gritty due to its transfer of digital to celluloid and mainly handheld, there is a certain spontaneity in the film, almost an improvised feel, that is enhanced by the sharp cast. Clarkson is particularly good, becoming the heart of the film that the rest of the group rotates around. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
* Pirates of the Caribbean
Last summer's best blockbuster. And Johnny Depp gives one of the best performances of the year. Perhaps maybe Oscar will finally realize that comedy also takes acting talent? (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Radio
Combining the two most odious tools at Hollywood's disposal--celebrities portraying the mentally handicapped and Cuba Gooding Jr. --Radio is something like Rudy meets The Waterboy. With "heart." Oh, the heart.
Runaway Jury
Runaway Jury is completely solid and completely unsurprising--a John Grisham adaptation in the A Time to Kill vein, which is to say this: It is watchable Hollywood tripe, no more, no less.
* School Of Rock
Like Kindergarten Cop, the concept behind Rock is one of those near-hokey ones where "kids teach us more than we teach them," and where, in the end, everybody wins in some way because everybody loosens up a bit. What makes this movie different though is that it tackles the parts of rock culture where people take themselves way too seriously, a subject that could use a little unwinding of its panties. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
* Shattered Glass
Stephen Glass scandalized the journalism world in 1998 when it was unearthed that an article he penned for his employer, the New Republic, not only distorted facts but was an outright fabrication: Creating fictional characters, businesses, and events, Glass spun an entertaining tale about a teenage hacker that was eventually exposed as complete fiction by another journalist. Shattered Glass (which, yes, is a terrible title), directed by first-time helmer Billy Ray, chronicles Glass' exposure and tumble, offering as its lead Hayden Christensen, previously seen as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Don't let this bit of casting deter you from seeing the film, however, for if Shattered Glass proves anything it's that George Lucas is supremely untalented when it comes to directing actors. Christensen burrows himself beneath Stephen Glass' tics and charms, and the result is a smart, noteworthy performance; creating a character both endearing and repellent at the same time, he manages to shed the blunder that was his previous performance and emerges, somehow, as a talented actor. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Something's Gotta Give
Jack Nicholson recovers from a bout of heart disease and a lifetime of misogyny in this raucous romantic comedy. Oh, and early word is Diane Keaton goes full frontal--though we were unable to confirm this by press time. Factoria, Majestic Bay, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place, Redmond Town Center, Woodinville 12
Spy Kids 3D
The third installment of Robert Rodriguez's kiddie franchise rests firmly in two dimensions for the bulk of its duration. With shots that stand to age as well as Jaws 3-D, the real tragedy here is that the children of America live in a world where this sort of tripe stands as a pale approximation of the majesty that was Captain EO. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
* The Station Agent
Peter Dinklage plays Finbar McBride, a train aficionado who inherits an abandoned depot. The remote location suits him fine because he's not the most social of people. That doesn't stop the nearby Cuban hot dog vendor (Bobby Cannavale) from talking to him, nor does it stop the woman who almost runs him over (Patricia Clarkson) from stopping by for an apologetic drink or several. They befriend him despite his better efforts to brush them off. Dinklage is positively magnetic here: What director Tom McCarthy has captured in his debut feature is a sense of happy loneliness--those times when it feels right to go for a walk and just look around and not talk to anyone. (ANDY SPLETZER)
Stuck on You
See review this issue. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Oak Tree, Varsity, Woodinville 12
* Thirteen
That the teenage years are difficult is not news--it's something we've known for years, thanks to after-school specials and blunt and terrifying movies like Kids. But stories about teens going out of control tend to inspire more polemic than art, encouraging viewers to identify the problem--the broken home, the oblivious parents, the oversexualized media--and turn the story into a message. What makes Catherine Hardwicke's Thirteen more potent is that she offers no such easy outs, but rather points out the vulnerability of the whole structure (family, school, self) that keeps a teen from self-destructing. (EMILY HALL)
Timeline
Richard Donner's Timeline is the type of spectacular failure one normally finds great joy in coming across; poorly constructed and preposterously acted, it is as close to a drive-in B picture as we're likely to get nowadays. Unfortunately, the film lacks the wit and, quite often, the intelligence of those trashy flicks, leaving behind only a dimwitted, dull exercise in ham-hocked acting and expensive visual effects. What has happened to you Richard Donner? You made Superman, fer cryin' out loud! (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
* To Be and To Have
In this really very lovely documentary--without voice over and with very little obvious agenda--we follow Georges Lopez and about twelve students, from very little kids to unpredictable pre-teens, over the course of a half-year in a one-room schoolhouse, as he gently but firmly guides them toward reading, counting, and something higher and better and more ineffable: being good, thoughtful, communicative people. (EMILY HALL)
FILLER: THE MOVIE
Brief, but somewhat unfocused. People in search of quality entertainment may wish to look elsewhere, for Filler: The Movie is a rather tedious, and, in the end, fruitless affair. Why was it made? What purpose does it serve? Only its makers know for sure.
