CARLOTTA SUE PHILPOTT'S ONE-WOMAN GLASS MENAGERIE
I know exactly what you're thinking: "Where the hell has our darling Carlotta Sue Philpot been, and why, oh sweet Jeebus why, is she torturing us with this most conspicuous and protracted of absences?!" Calm down. While I have no answers to the questions of where she's been and/or why she went there, I am delighted to report that YOU CAN JUST QUIT YOUR BITCHING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW because she has finally returned to us, bringing with her a theatrical masterwork: The Glass Menagerie. But not just the regular, old dusty Glass Menagerie, which almost has the supernatural power to bore the fleas off of a dog, but a thoroughly Carlottafied one-woman version based upon "what she thinks she remembers a friend told her about it." Which of course will be roughly infinity times better. One night only! Theater Off Jackson, 7:30 pm, $10 adv/$12 DOS, all ages.
DARK AND SEXY SEX AT SEX.WAV
It seems like 50 million years since we enjoyed a good SEX.wav, and (much like our dear Carlotta above) MY GAWD how I've missed it! A night of dark and sexy aesthetics in music, venue, and couture, this is definitely an event where one does not want to half-ass one's look. (May I suggest an ensemble along the lines of fatal-car-crash-meets-elegant-Wednesday-Addams?) DJ Kid Amiga (whom I have not yet had the pleasure of hearing) will be joining resident DJ Ill Camino (whom is awesome sauce) in creating overcast waves of warm deliciousness to groove to, and Eva Androgyny and Cherry Sur BĂŞte will share hostessing and performing duties. And did you hear me? I SAID DRESS. The Mercury, 9 pm, $5/$3 members, 21+.
QUEER DISCO AT STIFFED
I don't really want you to go to Stiffed at Kremwerk. I just think that if I keep writing about DJ Derek Pavone, he'll finally get the hint and ask me to marry him. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Kidding! Kidding. (OR AM I?) Pavone and DJ Almond Brown and guest Trinitron are "at the decks" (as the kids do say), and the set is strictly Queer Disco, so of course Ade will be there to sing the greatest hits of that most goddessy of gay goddesses, Miss Donna Summer, because OF COURSE SHE IS. Don't be ridiculous. Kremwerk, 9 pm, $7, 21+. 
