This ain't a dis column, this a real column! I'm saying, Beanie Sigel dissing Jay-Z (if you ain't know, go hit the YouTube for "What You Talkin Bout," so you know what the hell I'm talking about) makes that forever undying rap fan in me—that frozen-in-time Roc-A-Fella stan within—deeply, deeply sad. Sadder than when Jay and Dame split, sadder than when I heard Coldplay's Chris Martin on "Beach Chair," sadder than Christión, Teairra Mari, Rell, and Rick Vocals all put together. (Shudder.) How in the name of Amil did we get here? I would blame those two things we never seem to have enough of—time and (especially) money. Time in the pokey, time apart. Money made, money needed—not to mention a certain rapper/actor/CEO, whose name was coined for change, who seems to be manipulating the situation. I love a good rap beef as much as any—and the caliber of the two involved ought to qualify this one as great—but this shit is just sad. I'd hope that somehow, some way Beans and Hov would rock again, but instead it looks like once again it's on.

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Oh well. Fuck all that, because townbidness is still and truly in full effect. Big, stupid, obese-shut-in props to the big homies J. Moore, Jake One, and Vitamin D on the 2009 edition of the Red Bull Big Tune competition, recently concluded. On its Afu-Ra-style whirlwind-through-cities (eight, to be exact) tour, RBBT had its finals in the ATL. There, Detroit's runner-up, Toronto native Frank Dukes, beat out 15 other battle-tested producers (including Seattle's champ Marcus D and runner-up KD Cutz). I'm most curious who Dukes gets to work with for his prize, because as y'all will recall in 2008, Chi-town's C-Sick got to do a joint with Nas; in 2007, Dyme Def's own Brainstorm did one with Young Buck. This year it's gotta be even bigger, dare I say—Bangs? (That's a joke, slowskis.)

Okay, but speaking of producers, Blockhead—longtime Aesop Rock collaborator and Ninja Tune soldier—is coming to Chop Suey November 12 to beat up on yo pads, beat fanatics. DJ Signify, Dead Noise and WD4D (who came together to put out the After School EP recently with Fourthcity), and DJ Absolute Madman are on the bill as well. The next night at Chop Suey, however, is all about the goddamn rapping: a Super Fly T.N.T. bill topped off by destined-for-glory Sportn' Lifer Fatal Lucciauno, Portland's own behind-the-mic/behind-the-scenes hero Cool Nutz, and Seattle's king of the artistic multigrind, Onry Ozzborn. SK, Outrageous, and FileJerks' own DJ Astronomar fill out the night with flavor, with Candidt hosting. If you miss this one, it's probably because you're the kind of person who saves all your energy to go see Brokencyde—whose music is actually proven to cause cancer of the ears, eyes, and genitals—at El Corazón November 15. Even the juggalos in the immediate area wonder: The fuck is wrong with you? recommended