Comments

1

Please leave us men something. First you came for Ghostbusters because I didn't really care for ghostbusters, and then you came for Ocean's 8 because hey why not that could be entertaining but taking our BDE is too far.

2

This is crazy awesome. Best things I've read in the Stranger in ages.

3

Hilarious, well done

4

Yes, this piece does pleasantly remind me of mid-period “Stranger.” (I’ve been a reader since ‘93).

5

If we could only just permanently fill up the bottomless, ugly hole that is Trump.

6

Did anyone have more BHE than Leonard Cohen?

"Death Of A Ladies' Man"

Now, the man she wanted all her life was hanging by a thread
"I never even knew how much I wanted you," she said.
His muscles they were numbered and his style was obsolete.
"O baby, I have come too late." She knelt beside his feet.
"I'll never see a face like yours in years of men to come
I'll never see such arms again in wrestling or in love."
And all his virtues burning in the smoky Holocaust
She took unto herself most everything her lover lost

Now the master of this landscape he was standing at the view
with a sparrow of St. Francis that he was preaching to
She beckoned to the sentry of his high religious mood
She said, "I'll make a place between my legs,
I'll show you solitude."

He offered her an orgy in a many mirrored room
He promised her protection for the issue of her womb
She moved her body hard against a sharpened metal spoon
She stopped the bloody rituals of passage to the moon

She took his much admired oriental frame of mind
and the heart-of-darkness alibi his money hides behind
She took his blonde madonna and his monastery wine --
"This mental space is occupied and everything is mine."

He tried to make a final stand beside the railway track
She said, "The art of longing's over and it's never coming back."
She took his tavern parliament, his cap, his cocky dance,
she mocked his female fashions and his working-class moustache.

The last time that I saw him he was trying hard to get
a woman's education but he's not a woman yet
And the last time that I saw her she was living with some boy
who gives her soul an empty room and gives her body joy.

So the great affair is over but whoever would have guessed
it would leave us all so vacant and so deeply unimpressed
It's like our visit to the moon or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing if you really want to go that far.

It's like our visit to the moon or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing if you really want to go that far.

It's like our visit to the moon or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing if you really want to go that far.

7

Your response to Judy read to me as BOLD CLAM, and I thought that was the new term and now I don't want to be correct. BHE = BOLD CLAM. I'm out.

8

Think you're right about Big Bird. And I always thought of Bert and Ernie as the archetypical "confirmed bachelors" who've shared the same Upper West Side apartment (five rooms, rent-controlled!) since 1958 with no one ever speculating out loud.

9

"... a self-absorbed child, said all his characters seem like awful people, and derided his entire oeuvre as the product of an emotional-stunted douche. "
Of course, this critique would be equally valid if levelled against Jack Kerouac.


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