Seattle sucks! Our friends over at FOX 13 reported that a new WalletHub study ranked Seattle as one of the worst-run U.S. cities. To make this determination, WalletHub weighed services in the country’s 150 largest cities against the total per capita budget. The study ranked Seattle number 18 in services. Not bad. But unfortunately, we cannot have good public programs in a major city without spending money! The study measured Seattle’s budget as 140th out of 150th (the closer to number one, the smaller the budget), but 18th in services. This put Seattle at 118 on the list for best-run city, which to WalletHub just means the best “deal” on public programs. They put fucking Nampa, Idaho as number one.  

She’s so pretty: Crosscut captures what Seattle looks like from the fresh eyes of a tourist. 

Gun violence and homelessness: The Seattle Times wrote that six unhoused people have been fatally shot this year. Councilmember Andrew Lewis and Mayor Bruce Harrell agreed that the problem is not with the people but with the environment – which, you know, they helped to create and have the power to fix. 

Last day to steal a catalytic converter: A new law to curb the theft of catalytic converters goes into effect tomorrow. The law, which passed unanimously in the State Legislature, will require businesses to show records of purchase and to pay for catalytic converters with checks instead of with cash, so that the transaction can be traced. In theory, scrap metal business will stop buying boosted converters, people will get the hint that they can’t make money off it anymore, and they’ll stop. Of course, the people who commit such crimes will still be poor, so they’ll probably just find another illegal way to make money. Hope y’all like it better than this one! 

Other July, 1 news: Tomorrow, fees will increase for Washington state license plates, but before the pro-car propagandist get to you, remember: taxing driving gives us cool shit!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU ANTI-TAX MOTHERFUCKERS! INDIVIDUALISM IS A CANCER. Anyway, the fee will help fund the state's nearly $17 billion transportation package "Move Ahead Washington.”

I got hacked: Well, it was nice knowing ya! Yesterday, like an absolute idiot, I clicked on a mysterious link from a verified Twitter account that said my account had been flagged for being inauthentic and hateful .“Hateful” I could take, but “inauthentic?” Come on! I woke up this morning unable to log in to my Twitter account. Upon further investigation, the hackers (derogatory) used my information to make my account into a verified Twitter account that poses as a Twitter support agent who is really an agent of chaos. Worse yet, they changed my location to San Francisco. Hopefully, I shall return to the bird app lickity-split, but if you see any weird shit on my account, know it is not my fault – including the weird shit from before I got hacked. 

I miss the weather blog the most from Twitter:

$27,000? For some WIFI? A couple bought a house in Northgate. Everything seemed cool (as cool as things can be in Northgate) until they realized Comcast was going to charge them basically another downpayment for internet. I know I just dunked on Northgate, but it’s far from nowhere. There’s major transit, the hockey arena, and the best damn Target this city has ever seen. Wild to be off the grid in fucking Northgate, lol. 

ICYMI: As City Hall reporter, I feel obligated to share Will Casey’s latest about the council’s ongoing discussion about police alternatives. Here. Enjoy!

Weiner winner: Some foodies taste-tested five local hot dogs. Here’s where you can get the best hot dog according to The Seattle Times. 

These bitches are on a roll: Today, public enemy No. 1 made a stupid choice that we will have to deal with for years to come. The Supreme Court’s ruling in West Virginia v. EPA undoes once-settled precedent and eliminates the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s ability to regulate carbon dioxide emissions from power plants under the Clean Air Act. Dude. What are these people on?

Triggered: Docile weakling Ted Cruz had a meltdown about Elmo (who is a muppet) getting the vaccine on Sesame Street after the FDA cleared the shots for children under 5. Imagine getting so few bitches. 

Big win for Ukraine: Russian forces left Snake Island yesterday. Reuters said leaving this strategic outpost on the Black Sea could “loosen the grip of Russia's blockade on Ukrainian ports.”