Alaska Air buys Hawaiian Air: Seattle's hometown airline will pay $1.9 billion—which includes $900 million of debt—to buy Hawaiian Air. The merged airline will be based in Seattle, but will maintain a hub in Honolulu. With the acquisition comes more "connectivity to 138 destinations" in the continental United States and "across the Pacific, including nonstop service to 29 international destinations in the Americas, Asia, Australia and the South Pacific," according to KING 5. The deal will likely need to pass a federal government sniff test since other recent airline acquisitions have drawn scrutiny from the Biden administration over fears they will raise passenger fares. 

Bow down to Washington: Go freakin' dawgs, huh? The University of Washington Huskies continued their undefeated season in the Pac-12 Championship—the last Pac-12 Championship probably ever—by beating the Oregon Ducks 34 to 31. Now, our little dawgs are headed to the playoffs and will face the University of Texas in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Louisiana. 

Sorry for all the sports news: This is important water cooler information. The Mariners traded away three players to the Atlanta Braves. They traded pitcher Marco Gonzales, first baseman Evan White, and beloved outfielder Jarred Kelenic. In exchange, they'll get two relief pitchers. The fans are sad. The fans are bitter. They're calling this a "salary dump" trade. So, maybe that means Mariners management is gunning for a big acquisition? Maybe they'll snatch up Japanese phenom Shohei Ohtani? Or, maybe they'll continue gutting the team and disappointing fans for no reason at all. So much drama in sports! My pal John Trupin at Lookout Landing has more thoughts here. Well, and also here.

The saddest thing about this trade is we will lose rabid Kelenic fan behavior like this fictional comic a fan drew about how Kelenic started playing better after he had sex with her. Fan culture is so rich. How could Mariners management deprive us of more of this type of stuff?

Hot dog! Langlois, Oregon, a town with a population of 370, is known for its hot dogs. The only grocery store, the Langlois Market, sells "specially peeled frankfurters" with homemade sweet mustard. Apparently, they're a big deal. World famous, as the signs outside the market say. And who would question them? I'm all about hot dog tourism these days. I just got back from Iceland and the hot dogs there are worth the hype. 

Cry me an atmospheric river: Tut, tut, it looks like a rain. It looks like a lot of rain. An atmospheric river starting Monday will bring risks of rising rivers and flooding across Western Washington. In Seattle, we should get three inches of rain in 36 hours. 

Shit. Potential flooding could damage the records held in the Olympia basement vault of the Washington State Archives building. 

Wolf dog kills baby: An Alabama family with a "wolf-hybrid" dog is reeling after the wolf-hybrid dog bit and killed their three-month-old baby. The International Wolf Center warns against bringing such wolf-hybrid pets into family homes. Those animals' genetic makeup (likely the wolf parts) make their behavior "inconsistent and unpredictable in ways that pose safety risks to humans," according to the IWC, as reported by the Associated Press.

Five dead in southeast WA home: The Clark County Sheriff's Department found five bodies killed in a suspected shooting in an Orchards, Washington home. The shooter is believed to be among the deceased. 

This oughta be good: In the wake of his expulsion, ex-Rep. George Santos has agreed to go on comedian and political satirist Ziwe's talk show. 

He's also now on Cameo: Gotta get that coin somehow. 

Should the Sacklers be shielded from civil lawsuits? The fate of the Sackler family, owners of Purdue Pharma, the maker of OxyContin, the drug that jumpstarted the opioid epidemic, is at the center of a settlement being heard by the Supreme Court. The nationwide settlement includes the Sacklers giving up ownership of Purdue Pharma, coughing up $6 billion, bankrupting the company then creating a new company from the ashes with profits which would fund treatment and prevention. The Sacklers themselves won't go bankrupt, however. Will the company's settlement and legal shield from bankruptcy extend to the individual family members? The Supreme Court will decide. More here.

What??? Sultan Al Jaber, the oil executive leading the COP28 climate summit, made a statement in the lead up to the event that caused outrage in the climate world. Jaber's statement said there is “'no science' that says phasing out fossil fuels is necessary to keep global warming under a critical threshold," according to CNN. Scientists and activists expressed alarm, worrying what direction the upcoming talks at the summit would be like if this was how Jaber was kicking things off. His statement came as a response to a reporter asking whether he would "lead" on phasing out fossil fuels himself. He still believes in the climate goal of keeping to 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit (though, he used Celsius numbers, I just converted it for you, my sweet American audience). But, I guess, he doesn't really want to cut fossil fuels? It's unclear. Also, why is an oil executive the president of the climate summit? 

Always vote for yourself: Damion Green lost his bid for Rainier City Council to Ryan Roth. The final vote count was 247 to 246. Green didn't vote for himself because he thought it seemed "narcissistic." 

A tasty morsel of investigative journalism for your Monday: If you've ever wondered why different countries have different chip flavors, like why you can't find Salsa Verde Doritos anywhere besides Mexico or why Thailand has lasagne Lays, but Italy doesn't, you gotta read this Guardian story. There's a whole geographic and demographic psychology to chip flavors. It's fascinating. PepsiCo uses a computer program to process every restaurant menu in a country to keep track of what ingredients are popular. The places that develop these flavors—seasoning houses—are cloaked in secrecy.