If pure evil were a basketball team, it’s now officially racked up enough victories over the past few days to be considered the Chicago Bulls dynasty of the late 90s. But don’t despair [insert some delusionally optimistic sounding nonsense bastardized from a Mel Robbins TikTok that still allows you to hold a shred of dignity]. Now is the time to be stalwart, not think of expatriating! [Note: We’re totally fucked. Double-check Asana for the time of Thursday’s Costa Rican citizenship meeting].
Weather: What exactly can I tell you that you can't already see looking outside your window? There’s snow! Icy streets have already caused multiple crashes and spin outs across King County, so if you absolutely have to hit the road this morning, please be careful! Scattered snow showers will continue throughout the morning before the temperature rises ever so slightly, bringing rain. Seattle public schools are all going remote instruction today with a two-hour delay.
Trump wants to take over Gaza: Yesterday, Trump stood alongside war criminal Netanyahu as he unveiled his plan for renewed American imperialism. In a stark reversal of his 2016 vow to withdraw the US from the Middle East, Trump floated the idea of seizing control of Gaza, displacing the Palestinians—whose homeland it is—and transforming the area into a luxury seaside real estate project, branding it “the Riviera of the Middle East.” This “long-term ownership partnership” would require US troops on the ground and massive tax dollars—a plan Americans, still decrying the cost of eggs, might not be too eager to support. Trump called Gaza a “demolition site,” conveniently ignoring the context of how that might have happened, as he casually suggested forcing Palestinians into exile in Egypt and Jordan. Critics have rightly denounced the proposal as ethnic cleansing and a blatant violation of international law. (And by "critics," we mean "people with eyes"). And this is week three. Buckle up.
CIA Offers Buy Out: The teardown of the administrative state marches on, and in a twist I never saw coming, I find myself oddly aligned with CIA personnel. On Tuesday, the Central Intelligence Agency offered buyouts to its entire workforce as part of a "holistic strategy to infuse the Agency with renewed energy," according to a CIA spokesperson—who, let’s be honest, might not have a job next week. New CIA Director John Ratcliffe is aggressively aligning the agency with Trump’s priorities. Federal employees who’ve considered taking buyouts have received contracts stating that by accepting the deal, they "forever waive" the right to take legal action against their agency. Unsurprisingly, the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE) and two other unions have filed a complaint, calling the buyout offer "arbitrary and capricious" and a violation of federal law.
RFK on Track to Become Health Secretary: With the nomination passed along for consideration to a full vote on the Senate floor, the odds seem ever in his favor. Upon approval, the anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorist would oversee an 80,000-person workforce and the $1.7 trillion U.S. Department of Health and Human Services—or at least until Musk locks him out of the system. North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis called Kennedy a “disrupter”—a buzzword Shark Tank has ruined for all of us—and suggested, “It’s time to put someone in there who’s going to go wild.” Exactly what millions of Americans on Medicare and Medicaid have been praying for.
Kremlin Asset Tulsi Gabbard Also on Track: The Senate Intelligence Committee advanced the nomination of Cruella de Vil cosplayer Tulsi Gabbard for Director of National Intelligence on a party-line vote of 9 to 8, with all committee Republicans in support. Gaetz crashed and burned, so that every other nominee could soar! If confirmed by the full Senate, the former Democrat and noted Islamophobe would manage a budget of more than $70 billion and oversee 18 intelligence agencies.
Families Sue Trump for Banning Gender-Affirming Care: Seven families, alongside plaintiffs PFLAG and GLMA, filed a lawsuit Tuesday challenging Trump’s executive orders halting federal support for gender-affirming health care for transgender people under 19. The ACLU and Lambda Legal, representing the plaintiffs, are seeking to block the order, calling it “unlawful and unconstitutional” in a court filing. They argue the order, one of the most aggressive federal attacks on transgender rights to date, withholds federal funds previously authorized by Congress, violates anti-discrimination laws, and infringes on parental rights. Like challenges to state bans, they also contend the policy discriminates by allowing federal funds for the same treatments when not used for gender transition. Kristen Chapman, a plaintiff who moved from Tennessee to Virginia to access care for her 17-year-old daughter, Willow, saw their scheduled Medicaid-covered appointment canceled the day after Trump signed the order. The lawsuit, filed in Baltimore federal court, aims to block what advocates call a full-scale assault on transgender existence. As the case progresses through the courts, attention will turn to which hospitals take a stand and which quietly comply.
Seattle Children’s Halts Trans Teens Surgery: Relatedly, as our resident badass Vivian McCall reported, Seattle Children’s Hospital just pulled the plug on a transgender teen’s top surgery at the last minute—allegedly to appease a Trump executive order that treats gender-affirming care like some kind of national security threat. The hospital won’t say outright what’s happening, but scrubbing its website of trans healthcare info is about as subtle as a drunk magician. Meanwhile, the teen’s family isn’t waiting around to see how bad it gets—they’ve seen this movie before, and spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well.
Donkeys Are Alright! Two Bellevue donkeys, Juan and Julio, missing since they were stolen from their barn Sunday afternoon, were found alive and well in Fall City after a good Samaritan tipped off the cops on Tuesday. King County Sheriff's Office and the Bellevue Police are now working to reunite the donkeys with their owner, Allison Smith who’s still reeling from the theft of her trailer and the distress caused to her horse, Ozzy. And though the animals have been reunited, her original message to all would be donkey thieves still applies: “Get your own f***ing donkey.” I couldn’t agree more.
Rinck Running for Reelection: Seattle City Councilmember Alexis Mercedes Rinck is running for a full four-year term because, as we know, fighting for housing affordability, community safety, and basic human dignity is still considered a radical act in this town. After winning a special election in 2024 with 58 percent of the vote, she’s back with endorsements from over 30 local leaders and a stubborn refusal to let greed and bureaucracy grind this city into dust. With a background in fiscal policy, human services, and emergency response, she’s actually trying to solve problems instead of passing ineffectual legislation (SODA zones, Drug ordinance, etc.) that crushes our city’s soul.
Duwamish Given Chance at Recognition: Last week, a US District Court told the Department of the Interior to stop dragging its feet and reconsider the Duwamish Tribe’s petition for federal recognition. The decision gives the tribe the chance to present new evidence that shows they’re still the same Duwamish Tribe that signed the 1855 Treaty of Point Elliott. It’s a small win for them, but it’s a win—now the tribe has the shot at not only recognition but also federal benefits. That is if there are any benefits left to go around after this administration gets done.
Metro Installs New Safety Barriers: King County Metro is installing new protective barriers between bus drivers and passengers to improve safety, following increasing concerns about driver assaults, including the deadly stabbing of Shawn Yim in December. The new barriers are more secure and durable than previous ones, with locks and reinforced designs to reduce the risk of attacks. These upgrades are part of a broader effort to address safety concerns, with plans to retrofit around 1,300 buses at an estimated cost of $15 million.
A Special Place in Hell: Not gonna lie, these two stories have me questioning my abolitionist bonafides and overall belief in humanity but here they are. Cameron James Taylor, a Seattleite and former US Army soldier, was sentenced to 87 months in prison for sexually assaulting a 5-year-old child at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. This conviction is part of a history of criminal sexual offenses, including prior convictions and an "Other than Honorable" discharge from the Army. Following his sentence, Taylor will be required to register as a sex offender and serve 10 years of supervised release. On the same day Taylor was sentenced, a Seattle woman was charged with second-degree murder after allegedly beating her 14-year-old son to death for not completing his chores. The boy suffered over 1,100 injuries from hours of abuse.
We Need Love: Okay, so desperately needed abrupt subject change: Charles Mudede and Daudi Abe recently explored how early rap was all about post-puberty testosterone and barely a shred of emotional depth. Men—boys, really—talking about everything but love. Then LL Cool J drops "I Need Love" in ’87, and boom! Vulnerability enters the game, shaking up the whole rap world. Fast forward decades later and we’ve got everything from Method Man and Mary J. Blige's “You’re All I Need” to Missy Elliott’s “Work It,” where rap isn’t just about being tough; it's about longing, desire, and even joy. Who knew? Turns out, love has been creeping into hip-hop all along, making us rethink what it means to be “hard.” Check out the entire rundown here.
And in that vein, here’s a throwback from the one and only Miss Lauryn Hill:
