Tonight’s Weather Might Get Weird: Yup, the National Weather Service says Seattle will likely see severe thunderstorms Wednesday evening, starting around 5 p.m. Meteorologists are predicting high winds and the possibility of hail as large as two inches in diameter. There’s also a 5 percent chance of a tornado. Charge your phones and computers and all that, maybe scrounge up some candles or extra flashlights if you’ve got ‘em, and you should probably eat that ice cream in your freezer now, too, just to be safe. You don’t want it to melt if the power goes out.

A Tornado Is Unlikely: But they do happen here! Our last significant tornado was in Port Orchard in 2018. So here’s what I learned from living through several tornado watches and warnings in Nashville for 10 years: If a tornado is spotted, head to your basement or the lowest level of your building. If you don’t have a basement, go to the innermost room of your home, preferably a space without windows (bathrooms, closets, stairwells, etc.!). Taking cover in a bathtub is also better than nothing. If you have a bike helmet, throw that on to protect your head. If you’re outside or traveling, GET OUT OF YOUR CAR! Avoid trees. Get to shelter, or, if there are no buildings nearby, lay down in a ditch or the lowest possible spot you can find. Good luck, everybody! They’re terrifying! 

Free Alfredo “Lelo” Juarez Zeferino: Early Tuesday morning, ICE arrested Whatcom County man Alfredo “Lelo” Juarez Zeferino,The Bellingham Herald reports. He “has been politically active for many years” and has volunteered as an immigrant rights organizer, including serving on Bellingham’s Immigrant Advisory Committee. The program coordinator for Community to Community (C2C) told the Herald, “We suspect it was because of his political action that he was detained.” By 10 a.m., more than 100 people gathered outside the Ferndale facility to protest his detainment. By Tuesday evening, C2C posted on Instagram that Zeferino was moved to the NW Detention Center in Tacoma. The org is raising money for his defense fund, and they’re urging supporters to call Gov. Bob Ferguson (360-902-4111) and AG Nick Brown (360-753-6200) to demand his release.

“So, About That Signal Chat.” As mentioned in yesterday’s Slog AM, the Atlantic’s editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg was accidentally included in a group chat on Signal in which a number of White House idiots were texting about the attack on Yemen. They’re denying any wrongdoing in a Senate panel hearing—Tulsi Gabbard, the director of national intelligence, said no classified information was shared. So this morning The Atlantic published the entirety of their messages. 

This Hypocrisy Is Giving Me Heartburn: Yesterday, Trump teased the “possibility of financial compensation for people who were prosecuted for taking part in the riot at the Capitol in 2021,” reports Politico. They participated in an attempted coup! People died! And yet, Trump also said, just days ago, that he “looks forward” to seeing anti-Tesla protestors “get 20-year jail sentences 
 in the prisons of El Salvador.” This is fascism. 

JD Vance Is Going to Greenland: Why? Greenland certainly doesn’t want him there. In a January poll, more than 85 percent of Greelanders said they “do not want to join the US.” Earlier this month “All five parties in Greenland’s parliament issued a joint statement on Friday rejecting President Donald Trump’s latest effort to take control of the strategic Arctic island,” according to the AP. On Monday, Prime Minister Mute B. Egede called the trip “highly aggressive” and said its “only purpose is to demonstrate power.” 

Greenland Has the Chance to Do the Funniest Thing Ever: I’m not saying Greenland should detain Vance for trespassing or spying or threatening the country’s national safety or anything, but
 what if they did? 

About Last Night’s Special Election in PA: As of 10:30 p.m. last night, Democrat James Malone had a 482-vote lead over Republican Josh Parsons in Lancaster County’s 36th Senate District special election, according to LNP Lancaster Online. If Malone wins, he will be the first Democratic state senator in the 36th district since 1979. It’s a small thing, but Elon and Trump were both pushing for Parsons. The duo’s popularity is plummeting. Are they losing their influence? A little? Maybe? Dare we nurture this fragile seedling of hope?

Elon Takes an L: Y’all read Teen Vogue’s profile of Vivian Wilson, right? She’s Elon Musk’s estranged daughter. It’s so good, and Musk got so mad. Over the weekend, after the story came out, he deadnamed Wilson and repeated his bullshit line about how “the woke mind virus” killed his “son.” Vivian’s response? “I look pretty good for a dead bitch.” Perfection.

A New Way to Buy Cake: Yesterday, My Ballard reported this week’s best news so far—a local baker, Nicole Conley, has opened a walk-up “microbakery” on 30th Avenue Northwest. “Think of it like a cake vending machine: You walk up, scan a code, select your treat, and the fridge will open up for you to take your goodies,” writes Meghan Walker. It’s cute! It’s “open” Friday through Sunday 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. or until sold out. 

We’re Watching, Senators: Washington’s own Maria Cantwell voted yes to confirm Michael Kratsios as Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy yesterday. Previously Kratsios was chief of staff for Peter Thiel. This isn’t the first Trump appointee she’s supported. Cantwell also voted yes for Scott Bessent as Treasury Secretary, Sean Duffy for Secretary of Transportation, Doug Burgum as Interior Secretary, and Marco Rubio as Secretary of State. Patty Murray has only voted in favor of Marco Rubio as Secretary of State. I don’t know that that counts as egregious, really. But we’re watching, Cantwell! Stand up to Trump! 

Ferguson Reverses Inslee’s Decision: Timothy Pauley, who is serving consecutive life sentences for murdering three people during an armed robbery in 1980, was set to be released Thursday. Jay Inslee began the parole process on his last day in office. But this week Gov. Bob Ferguson reversed Inslee's decision. In a statement, Ferguson wrote, “I am unconvinced that Mr. Pauley is truly rehabilitated and fit for release at this time." Before his decision, Ferguson was receiving pressure from the state House Republican leader and the mayor of Bonney Lake (where Pauley would live) to block Pauley’s parole. Those Republicans sure do seem to have Fergie’s ear, huh? 

Big Dumper’s Staying in Seattle: Mariners catcher Cal Raleigh is reportedly signing a six-year, $105 million contract extension. This is delightful news for Ms fans and especially for Stranger sports contributor Brittney Bush Bollay who, in November, started this delightful thread: 

I make Cal Raleigh's dumper bigger every day until the Mariners extend him: Day 1

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— Brittney Bush Bollay (@brittneybush.bsky.social) November 12, 2024 at 11:26 PM

Eurovision Is Coming: I am very excited. Today, and all days, let’s greet the world with the same energy Malta’s Miriana Conte exudes in her Eurovision entry. You gotta at least listen until the breakdown.