Check This Out: Alaska Airlines would like you to absorb new rising jet fuel costs from the war in Iran and will now be charging more for checked baggage. Going forward, passengers will pay an extra $5 for their first checked back, an extra $10 for bag number two, and $50 extra for bag three. You best believe those carryon storage compartments will stay the same exact size. Luckily, we aren’t idiots and can continue avoiding these fees by voluntarily checking our bags at the gate.
Not Our Crisis: Remember last year when there was all that hubbub about putting a new crisis care center to provide behavioral health care for people experiencing a mental health, drug, or alcohol crises on Capitol Hill? The resistance came from a group of moneyed Capitol Hill landlords and business owners, including, embarrassingly, The Stranger‘s landlord. Thanks a lot, Liz Dunn from Dunn & Hobbes, owner of Chophouse Row. Other crisis center resisters include: Kroger, 4N Properties, Silver Cloud, Seattle Central College, the executive director of the U District Partnership Don Blakeney, Jill Cronauer, the Chief Operating Officer of real-estate company Hunters Capital, and Thomas Goldstein of executive search firm Thomas Goldstein Associates, reports The Urbanist. Several of these same gooners also tried to remove the bus lane on East Union Street west of 12th Avenue.
How Do We Feel About This Fish? I’m neutral on Sal the SpokeSalmon for the Seattle Department of Transportation. I bet those Capitol Hill landlords and business owners fucking hate this guy. (Watch to the end if you want to see an elected official do a cartwheel.)
Ankle, Assessed: King County assessor John Wilson pleaded not guilty to two charges of violating the no contact order from his ex-fiancée last July. A judge has ordered Wilson to wear an ankle monitor and stay 1,000 feet away from his ex while he awaits trial, reports PubliCola. He still has not resigned his post as King County assessor despite the King County Council unanimously voting for him to step down last year. His term ends after this year and he is not running for re-election.
Millionaires Tax, Sued: Sigh, more rich people are trying to get their way. The expected lawsuit against the millionaire’s tax has officially been filed. The Citizens Action Defense Fund, a conservative non-profit partially funded by hedge fund millionaire Brian Heywood, is leading the anti-tax campaign. Former Attorney General Rob McKenna is their lawyer. They filed the suit in Klickitat County Superior Court, saying it’s “unconstitutional because it doesn’t tax all incomes in the state uniformly,” reports KUOW. Plaintiffs include the owners of a construction business, a farmer, a trucking business owner, the Ethnic Chamber of Commerce, the Yakima Klickitat Farm Association, the Building Industry Association of Washington, and the National Federation of Independent Businesses. The courts will decide if they’re going to continue to uphold a 1933 ruling that’s made it impossible to establish a graduated income tax in the state.
The Weather: They say the clouds will return today. The rain comes back tomorrow and it’s supposed to stay awhile. Oh, spring, you flirt.
Okay? Out of nowhere, First Lady Melania Trump held a press conference to “clear my good name,” she said. In the six minute statement, she announced that she had no relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, was not one of his victims, didn’t know a single thing about his misdeeds, and that Congress should have a hearing where Epstein’s victims could share their stories. Alright, thanks Melania.
Epstein Survivors Say No Thanks: Survivors of Epstein’s abuse accused Melania of “shifting the burden onto survivors under politicized conditions to protect those with power.” They would rather former attorney general Pam Bondi be in the hot seat regarding her alleged withholding files and naming survivors.
Inflating Inflation: Inflation saw its highest one-month spike in four years back in March thanks to rising gas prices. Speaking of, gas prices had their largest monthly jump in six decades last month. Undecided voters will be gathering pitchforks when?
Anti-Woke Wake Up Juice: San Francisco chain Philz Coffee removed Pride flags from all of its locations. Philz announced it was removing “a variety of flags and decor” in order to create a more “inclusive experience.” The coffee company was bought by the private equity firm that also owns Popeyes and El Pollo Loco last year.
Art of the Deal: Vice President JD Vance is heading to Pakistan to do some mediated talks and negotiating with Iran. He told reporters, “If they’re gonna try and play us, then they’re gonna find that the negotiating team is not that receptive.” Apparently, the US and Iranian negotiators will be in separate rooms and Pakistani officials will deliver messages between the two. Kinda crazy, but it makes sense. That is also the closest I could stand being to JD Vance.
Maine Could Ban Data Centers: Maine lawmakers voted for a bill that would ban the construction of new data centers in the state. The tech industry is boiling mad about this, warning Maine it “will fall behind.” Mainers are more worried about the rising energy costs data centers will bring—they already have some of the highest rates in the country.
Not Fuckin’ and Suckin’ Enough? US women gave birth to 710,000 fewer babies last year compared to 2007, when the birthrate peaked here. It’s a 23 percent decline in birthrate over those 19 years. I tell ya, the state of this country is not making me want to pop out 2.5 children. Fewer babies means a slimmer future workforce to prop up an aging society, which could be a problem for us down the line as we crackdown on immigration. Stupid.
In Case the Sun Comes Out Again: Listen to this.
