The aggressively-cloying coupling of pop star/friend collector Taylor Swift and English actor/Shakespeare obsessive Tom Hiddleston is no more.
I know, I know. Who’s Taylor Swift? What’s a #Swoki?
We can all stop feigning ignorance now, because, like the summer that birthed it, this thing is done.
Us Weekly reported it. People confirmed it. This chart, based on real scientistic data pulled from broken heart emojis proliferating on Taylor Swift fan Instagrams, will help you visualize it.
A photo posted by Celebrity & Fashion by WW (@wonderwall) on
Anecdotal evidence, reported in US Weekly, suggest it was Swift who ended the greatest romance of our recent three months:
“She was the one to put the brakes on the relationship,” a source close to the couple tells Us. “Tom wanted the relationship to be more public than she was comfortable with. Taylor knew the backlash that comes with public displays of affection but Tom didn’t listen to her concerns when she brought them up.” Now that they’ve split, the source says, Hiddleston is “embarrassed that the relationship fizzled out.”
Researchers at The Cut, however, have found evidence of blame to be inconclusive:
Earlier this week, The Sun — the tabloid that published those Rhode Island photos — reported that Swift was “becoming increasingly worried that Tom…[was] using the relationship to boost his own profile.” Radar, meanwhile, claimed that Hiddleston was the one who wanted out. “It’s become a total charade and Tom is sick of being treated like a glorified escort,” a source told the website.
The couple first hit it off during a dance-related incident at the Met Gala, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour’s annual fashion and celebrity cavalcade, in New York at the beginning of May, while Swift was still dating Calvin Harris. Here are the moves that evidently made them fall in love.
TAYLOR SWIFT & TOM HIDDLESTON GETTING DOWN #MET #DANCE #FUNFUN #PRINCE #NYC #tomhiddleston
A video posted by Carlos Souza (@carlossouza1311) on
Then there was a not-at-all-staged PDA in front of the paps in June, followed by a not-at-all-fun-looking 4th of July party, and a media blitz/world tour that we were all forced to watch and absorb, innocently scrolling through our Facebook feeds, as the pair soared to epic new heights of blandness.
But it’s okay. It’s over now. Fall is here. The days will grow shorter and the leaves will turn and we can forget all about it—till Swift’s next album drops.
EOD=End of Day. We’re done. Go home. Tear down your Swoki vision board and burn the pieces.