FEMAIL is the name of the fashion duo—Camilla Carper and Janelle Abbott—showing tonight at Fred Wildlife Refuge. This equation is their shorthand for calculating the price of this garment, Hold Me Closer Tony Danza.
FEMAIL is the name of the fashion duo—Camilla Carper and Janelle Abbott—showing tonight at Fred Wildlife Refuge. This equation is their shorthand for calculating the price of this garment, Hold Me Closer Tony Danza. Courtesy __brainfreeze__

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FEMAIL's garments are sculptures you wear, dadaist conglomerations that would belong at Cabaret Voltaire in 1916, but which you could also, if you were awesome, wear to prom and on a date and to the opera.

They—Camilla Carper and Janelle Abbott, who live in Seattle and San Francisco—make them entirely through the US Postal Service. They mail them back and forth until they're done-ish. Their philosophy is "to design with commas,/Everything is a work in progress, left open ended,/always changing, and being altered."

Tonight at Fred Wildlife Refuge on Capitol Hill, FEMAIL celebrates their newest creations, a series called Sponge Mob Happy Place, which will be paraded around by live models. There will be merch, drinks, dancing, and a make-your-own-collages area inspired by the materials of FEMAIL, from childhood mementos to trash. Everything but the merch and drinks is free, and music will be FEMAIL-inspired, by Moture Cuder, Donormaal, The Fabulous Downey Brothers, and Pleather, from 8 to midnight.

FEMAIL's pricing equation is the most marvelous algebra.

Here it is broken down, thanks to __brainfreeze__:

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THE EQUATION: T(10) + M(MS (#X10%(T))+MH) + L(2)+/-F(15%)

T= Time spent as represented through 'layers' + $10.00 each
M (Material value) = MS (Sentimental + MH (Historical)
MS (Rate emotional connection 1-10 X 10% sum of T)
MH (Each item valued at $0.50-$5.00)
L (Likability—We would keep it but...) + $50.00* (*individually assessed; sliding scale)
**F (Frustration level) + or - 15%* (*individually assessed; sliding scale) **Optional