Yesterday Eli asked us all to marvel at Seattle's matriarchy. Well, Seattle, Michigan may get its own matriarchy this November, with an all-woman/all-Dem slate for statewide office, and Michigan's matriarchs aren't playing. Meet Dana Nessel, one of the Dem women running there this fall. Nessel wants to be Michigan's next attorney general and her latest campaign ad is... well, just watch:

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You can't argue with her logic—elected officials can't pull out dicks they don't have. I'm putting a Nessel yard sign in front of my house just in case someone visiting from Michigan walks by. Nessel for MI AG!