Oprah has her Golden Globes moment.
Oprah has her Golden Globes moment. Getty

Something surprisingly not about Millennials: there has been a whopping 41 percent increase in old people (over 65) driving in Washington state. The Baby Boomers are Seattle’s fastest growing demographic, contrary to popular belief and incessant negative press about the younger generation. And boy, do they love their cars. A report from the Department of Licensing stated that over 1 million drivers over 65 have active driver’s licenses. With all these seniors still hitting the road out there people are bound to worry, since data says once people hit their 70s the rate of car crashes goes up. But, for the most part, there’s nothing to worry about here. It’s totally fine because cars are safer than ever and senior citizens are healthier than they ever have been. Now, if they could just edge past 60 mph on I-5, I’ll be fine.

Donations ensure struggling computer science program can be boundless: The University of Washington received $2 million in funding from Facebook, Google, and Huawei to boost its Virtual Reality (VR) program. Nice! It’s always good to see an underfunded department get the funding they need, nay, they deserve. After the $110 million fund for a new computer science building, a $10 million donation from Amazon, plus another $50 million from Seattle’s lower-profile-but-secret-overlord billionaire Paul Allen, it’s good to see balance restored.

Pierce County sheriff’s deputy dies: after responding to a home invasion call last night southeast of Tacoma. Daniel McCartney, 34, was a father of three young boys and a Navy veteran and died in the hospital after the wounds he sustained. Shots were fired on the scene and the suspect fled. A manhunt is still underway and Bethel schools have been cancelled today.

The Golden Globes (aka America’s lump sum of award shows) was last night: You know, that award show no one remembers until it’s happening that is neither the Oscars nor the Emmys yet is simultaneously a worse version of both? Everyone wore black in support of the action plan, Time’s Up, created by female Hollywood elites in response the Harvey Weinstein exposé and the litany of subsequent exposés that followed and then the #MeToo movement. Yet, despite its supposed progressivism, this was still the Golden Globes and the glitz and glamor of Hollywood served as guild obscuring the dark underbelly of depravity in Tinsel Town and society at large. Here are the things people are talking about for all your small-talk and useless trivia needs:

Oprah is the name on everyone's lips: after she won the Cecile B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement. She took the stage and made a rousing speech that was probably the most eloquent oration the general American public has heard since Trump was elected. Unsurprisingly, people are anticipating (hoping?) this signifies a presidential run, as if they learned nothing from the last time people bought into a tv personality with no political experience running for president. In case you had your doubts, #PresidentOprah is trending on Twitter right now.

Natalie Portman delivered a cutting blow: to the best director nominees when she brazenly noted they were “all-male." This is ridiculous and a sign of all the change that is still to come in Hollywood despite the gender inequality being pushed to the forefront. The most glaring snub was Greta Gerwig, the writer and director of “Lady Bird,” who wasn’t even nominated for the award when her film was nominated for four awards and won two (Best Actress and Best Musical or Comedy).

Other than that: Seth Meyers did his best but was ultimately as enjoyable as an opened, flat La Croix, the red carpet was disappointingly not revolutionary except for when Debra Messing called out E!'s wage gap while being interviewed by E!, and L’Oreal ran a pretty tone-deaf ad.

I almost forgot: Here's a complete list of all the winners and losers.

Trump admin says time’s up for Salvadorans: 200,000 Salvadorans will be forced to leave the U.S. or face deportation. Their Temporary Protected status that was awarded to refugees after a series of devastating earthquakes in 2001 will not be renewed, according to the Department of Homeland Security. The story is still developing.

There’s a fire at Trump Tower: and you can quit holding your breath, everyone is okay. Donald Trump wasn’t even there. Even if he was, I’m sure the $24 million protections in place would’ve protected him. The NYFD responded quickly and worked to put the fire out. Two people were injured, a civilian who sustained major injuries and a firefighter who sustained minor injuries. They're being treated currently. Apparently the fire started from a cooling unit on the roof, so probably not malicious but maybe it’s an omen.

Seattle is a dumpster fire: hotspot. There have currently been 17 dumpster fires across Greenwood, Magnolia, and Ballard neighborhoods. The Seattle Fire Department says the fires are intentionally set and match a pattern. Whether this means this is the work of the same arsonist is unclear. What is clear is that you should keep your dumpsters close and your dumpster-fire-setting-enemies closer. Here’s a list of preventative measures you can take for all the dumpsters in your life.

"No Oso for us, no thanks," Yakima County says in the face of an impending landslide at Rattlesnake Ridge. Geologists estimate a slide will occur sometime between January 18 and February 28. The 63 residents at the base of the prospective landslide sight are evacuating, none of them excited about the potential of being a number on a Seattle Times infographic.

Seattle’s law on election ads should be the rule of thumb: says Ann Ravel, the Chair of the Federal Election Commission appointed during the Obama Era (also known as the “Good Ole Days”). Seattle’s law is mostly in line with Washington State law and unique nationally. It states that tech companies — and any other entity but let’s be real, it’s mostly tech here — who have sold ads in local elections have to disclose the nature and intent of the ads, including the information and demographics targeted. Ravel believes this should be the case nationally, she warned of this in 2016 but it was ignored. Then look what happened. Putin got involved and the world turned to shit. Reining in ads, especially online ads, would increase accountability and hopefully stop future treason.