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Let's get to the down and dirty details right away. I am a 27-year-old woman who is an escort. I've never thought much of monogamy because of my profession. (Yes, I do like my job.) But I've met someone, a 35-year-old male, who also didn't think much about monogamy until we started dating. The problem comes down to this: We became monogamous because we are happy with each other and satisfied sexually. I've stopped work for a short time to open discussions with him about what it means to date a sex worker. I want to start work again but remain "monogamous." Sex at work is exactly that: work. I'm getting paid to have relations with others. It's totally transactional. I'm faced with this: If I do go back to work he wants to be able to have sex with other partners too. I feel this is not "fair." He says he's happy being monogamous and would only see others if I start work again. I have asked him not to see others because it is not the same as what I do. I do not get to choose someone I am attracted to on my own free time, like he would be doing. I'm having relations on my "work time" and 99% of the people I see aren't even people I would see in my free time. Yet he's convinced I might dump him for someone I meet through work because two of my colleagues happen to be in long-term relationships with former clients. Ultimately, I feel my "providing services" puts money in the bank towards our future whilst if he is having relations with others it is not productive to our future. Am I wrong for wanting to continue this monogamous relationship even though I am a sex worker? Is his request "fair"?

Hooked on Love

I got online and tossed your question out to #SexWorkTwitter, HOL. Here's what some of your peers had to say...

From Kit Bauer:





From Cyd St. Vincent:


From Nina Hartley:



From Lance Navarro & Cyd St. Vincent





From Tash Murphy:



From Maya Midnight:



From the Naked Therapist:



From Kim Cums:



Now Ally Brinken, Mistress Matisse, and Maggie McNeill:





More from Maggie McNeill:









There's a lot more advice, discussion, and debate on the thread under my original tweet โ€” a big "thank you!" to all the sex workers from all over the world who took the time to respond!

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

Impeach the motherfucker already! Get your ITMFA buttons, t-shirts, hats and lapel pins and coffee mugs at www.ITMFA.org!

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