Just another drug counseling session at Waterfront Christian Community Church.
Just another drug counseling session at Waterfront Christian Community Church.

"I have nothing to hide," says Pastor George Gregory of Waterfront Christian Community Church, "I did nothing wrong." But according to the police report, Pastor George Gregory of Munhall, PA, was sitting fully clothed in the back seat of a parked car in a neighboring town. And in the front seat: another man, completely naked, "bound with nylon rope."

Take it away, KDKA-TV...

The criminal complaint says when officers asked what was going on, Gregory told the officers that they “were just playing” and he and the other man “meet up from time to time to play with each other.” The other man confirmed that what they were doing was consensual. The man who reported the suspicious vehicle told police that at one point he saw the second man get out of the vehicle without any clothes on, and he was concerned because the car was parked outside his daughter’s window. Gregory allegedly told the officers he thought they were in a private place, and when an officer said their vehicle was on a well-lit public street in clear view of several homes, Gregory told police, “I know.”

That's what Pastor Gregory told the police that night —  according to the police. But who can trust the police? Everyone knows the law-enforcement community has it in for Donald Trump and the white male conservative Christian voters who put him in the White House. Fake news! Deep state! Her e-mails! Here's what Pastor Gregory says really happened last Friday night:

“I was counseling a young man with a drug problem,” Gregory said. “It did turn strange, but it wasn’t my doing, OK? And I was adamant that I’m not participating in that way. And so that’s when the police pulled up, and they assume things, but I’m standing by my story. It’s not true.” According to Gregory, he has been working with the man for a few years, and he and his wife have tried to get him help. “I won’t deny that he began to take his clothes off and propositioned me, but I will deny, on a stack of Bibles with God as my witness, that I did nothing."

So... the cops either came across two men engaged in consensual bondage play (something a lot of people enjoy) in a public place where the participants might get caught (something that turns a lot of people on) and Pastor Gregory and his bondage buddy used standard-issue BDSM lingo to describe what they were doing when the police arrived ("play," "playing," "consensual") or the cops caught Pastor Gregory mid-faith-based-drug-counseling session, something he does in his car late on Friday nights, and the addict he was counseling propositioned Pastor Gregory and then, after Pastor Gregory rebuffed the addict's advances, the addict proceeded to rip off all his clothes, get out of the car to briefly air out his genitals, and then get back in the car and tie himself up in the front seat just before the police arrived.

I'm inclined to believe the pastor when he says, "I’m standing by my story. It’s not true." He is standing by his ridiculous story and it's not true.

Photo courtesy of Josh, "your friendly neighborhood kinkster," at SeaBondageSadist.