Plug us back into the mainframe, Jay.
Plug us back into the mainframe, Jay. Bill Hinton/ Getty

Inslee saves our internet: Washington became the first state to approve net-neutrality rules yesterday. The law will prevent companies from blocking content or charging more for faster internet. The legislation is an easy score for Inslee; everyone wanted net-neutrality. We’re happy we have it (please don’t take our fast internet away) but this is hardly the keystone of the resistance. Also, Comcast is still a hot pile of shit but at least it won’t get worse in spring when other parts of the country lose net-neutrality.

Police deadly force laws could be changing: When an officer uses deadly force it’s almost impossible in Washington State for prosecutors to bring charges against them. Even when a killing has been deemed wrongful. Lawmakers are nearing a deal to change that law. The debate centers around Initiative-940, or De-Escalate Washington, which called for these changes to deadly force laws.

Is Sam Nunberg okay? You must’ve heard about Sam Nunberg by now. The ex-Trump aide was fired in 2015. He was subpoenaed by Mueller yesterday and started calling news agencies like CNN and MSNBC and venting on air. He said he refused to go along with investigation. At one point he asked CNN’s Jake Tapper for advice. It was highly entertaining until the realization dawned that we were watching a man unravel live on national tv before our very eyes. There’s speculation that Nunberg was drunk or otherwise indisposed and the ethics of the whole thing is coming under scrutiny.

No drilling in the Northwest: Or, at least, there won’t be if Attorney General Bob Ferguson has anything to say about it. The Trump administration’s proposal to expand offshore drilling to 90 percent of the nation’s offshore reserves drew intense opposition from officials. The public also wasn’t too thrilled. Ferguson vows that he’ll sue if it comes to that. Thanks, Bob. What would that be, suit number 19? 20?

Three women come forward on the record: With accusations against Sherman Alexie. Last week, allegations that “dozens of women” had experienced sexual harassment or assault at the hands of the Seattle writer. Three of these women have come forward and spoken detailed and openly with NPR, which says it spoke to ten women in total.

Paul Allen found a boat: It’s a U.S. Navy warship from WWII. At least he discovered something and didn’t destroy a coral reef with his big ass ship this time.

New Voting Rights Act promotes district-based voting: The legislation is awaiting a signature from Gov. Jay Inslee. It’s been killed in the legislature year after year for five years. Now, the Voting Rights Act intended to promote equal voting opportunity has passed. District-based voting, especially in small towns across the state, will allow more people to have their interests represented.

First electric bass guitar made in Seattle, listed on eBay: the Audiovox 736 Electric Bass guitar was made in 1936 in the Roosevelt District of Seattle. It was the first instrument of its kind. It was so new that the invention never took off and its creator, Paul Tutmarc, was largely forgotten. Four of the guitars still exist with two held by private collectors and one by Paul Allen that can be seen at the MoPOP (still a dumb name). The last one is being auctioned off on eBay for an underwhelming $20,000. Bidding ends today.

Nukeless North Korea: During talks with South Korea, Kim Jong-un stated he was willing to denuclearize in return for security guarantees from the United States. South Korea is attempting to improve its own relations with the North. The two countries have installed a hotline where they can reach each other directly for the first time. Our ever-eloquent president said the United States is ready to “go hard” in either direction. Do with that what you will.

Inside look at this weird meeting:

Italian male escort exposes 36 gay priests in dossier: The Vatican was sent a 1,200-page document with sexually explicit WhatsApp conversations and erotic photos. Unfortunately, the priests listed are not only gay for God. They, like so many, have carnal cravings for the flesh. The male flesh. The escort who exposed the priests was fed up with the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church since homosexuality is a big, fat sin in the antiquated and deeply-flawed institution.

Big Cheese Festival apologizes for lack of cheese: Attendees couldn’t brie-lieve it when the festival advertising a “plethora of cheeses” ran out of cheese. The organizer blamed the weather, but it wasn’t a gouda enough excuse. The Big Cheese festival is a muenster in the eyes of the cheesemongers it left feeling particularly blue.

Tragic headline of the week: Lego admits it made too many bricks

Send your breakfasts to tomorrow morning before 8 a.m. to be featured on Slog AM!