We are absolutely thirsting for your startup. Credit: Caiaimage/Agnieszka Olek
We are absolutely thirsting for your startup.
We are absolutely thirsting for your startup. Caiaimage/Agnieszka Olek

Tech companies look to Seattle to expand: No more room in the Bay? Fear not, Seattle is here to scoop up all your tech company’s needs. According to the real estate firm CBRE, “Bay Area companies have taken 3.5 million square feet of office space in the Seattle region over the last five years,” reports GeekWire. We’ve edged out New York as the top expansion market.

Murder suspect found in Ohio: No one wants to go to Ohio unless they’re a Cavaliers fan or they’re on the run from a homicide charge. Maybe both sometimes. This suspect allegedly robbed and killed a motel clerk in SeaTac. The man, 26, couldn’t escape his crimes and was found and arrested in Dayton, Ohio. He will be extradited back to Washington to face charges.

Another murder suspect arrested: Since 1986, no one knew who kidnapped and killed 12-year-old Michella Welch from Tacoma. Three decades later a man in his 60s has been arrested in connection to the crime. Police are not releasing any details about how they made the connection to the suspect in the long-time cold case. There’s a press conference scheduled for later today.

Rachel Dolezal pleads not guilty to welfare fraud: Dolezal, who now goes by Nkechi Diallo, was the former NAACP leader in Washington. She was also a white woman pretending to be black. You remember this. Anyway, she was charged of improperly receiving $8,800 of public assistance via welfare when she had other income that she failed to report. She pleaded not guilty. She has a set trial date for Sept. 10.

Hey, your water might be contaminated! But it might not be that bad? Firefighting foam has been leaking into Washington water systems. The chemicals are called per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances or PFAs if you’re hip and with it. Apparently, they cause lower risk levels than the EPA’s current guidelines, according to the Seattle Times. This may spur Washington to conduct its own study and create its own PFA standards in drinking water.

Nine separated children in Washington: Gov. Jay Inslee did not elaborate on the details, but mentioned that there are nine children who were separated from their families at the border who are now residing in Washington. They are not in foster care. They are living in facilities licensed by the Department of Social and Health Services.

New Blabbermouth podcast! Trump’s Family Separation Policy Was Cruelty Incarnate. Why Didn’t Democrats Shout About It Sooner?

Portland ICE protest channels Tom Petty: That’s right, they won’t back down. Trump signed an executive order that will keep families together. They’ll still be detained but they’ll be detained with each other, so it’s still evil but marginally less evil? The protesters who have camped outside of the ICE facility in Portland for days, and have even shut down the location’s operations, are going to stand their ground and won’t be turned around. They won’t stop. Families are still being held in concentration camps. Occupy ICE PDX, as the group has been dubbed, won’t stop until “either ICE leaves Portland or the US upholds international asylum standards.” Seems reasonable to me.

Happy first day of summer!

Spring went out with a bang: Dramatic as always, spring ended its tenure on this earthly plane with a spectacular sunset. It was nice. Spring, we bid you adieu.

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! Well, almost. Fox has accepted Disney’s $71.3 billion offer. But, it’s not a done deal just yet. Fox has recognized Disney’s offer as the best one on the table but the greedy bastards are holding out to see if someone cough Comcast cough makes a higher bid. But, Disney’s offer is pretty sexy. In addition to a $38-per-share stock price, Disney will also take on all of Fox’s net debt. Talk about a courtship.

Happy belated Father’s Day to this man: Has your father ever pulled you from a soon-to-be vehicular inferno? No? Well, maybe you should get a better dad.

World Cup reporter groped on camera: Julieth Gonzalez Theran was doing a live report in Saransk, Russia when a man ran up to her, kissed her cheek, and groped her breast. That’s fucking ridiculous and she deserves all the accolades for maintaining her composure. She posted the video to instagram with a caption saying, “We do not deserve this treatment. We are equally valuable and professionals. I share the joy of football, but we must identify the limits of affection and harassment.”

Chemical attacks in Syria omitted from UN report: A United Nations commission was investigating the seven-year civil war in Syria. It left out the disturbing information about the reality of chemical weapons used during the conflict. Those details were present in an entire seven pages of an earlier draft but were summarized in two paragraphs in the final version submitted to the New York Times.

Koko the Gorilla has shuffled off this mortal coil: In a loss to the gorilla world that could rival that of the meme-ified Harambe, Koko the Gorilla has died. Koko was the gorilla who grasped American Sign Language and was able to communicate with humans. Koko lived to be 46.

Headline of the week: Burger King apologizes for offering burgers to women who become pregnant by soccer players

An update from my alley:

The infrastructure of the alley is equally as decrepit as the rest of the alley. The driveway behind my house is uneven. One raised corner opened up a shadowy gash of black in the landscape of mottled gray. I never thought about what could lurk within its murky depths. What was even underneath pavement?

Bees. It was bees.

The crack spat them out one by one like they were tortured souls clawing their way out of hell. Each journey I took from backdoor to the alley was a calculated run — head down, dodge the crack, speed walk to safety.

One day, without prompting, a crew showed up behind the house and filled in the crack with some yellow foam-like substance. It swelled and hardened, encasing the bees in their hole. Save the bees is a common refrain these days, one that I believe in, but I think I was culpable not saving the bees.

That was two years ago. The pavement has continued to shift, the yellow foam stuff has cracked and splintered. I worry that I will have a penance to pay. Need I fear the reaper?

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: The summer solstice edition of Lit Fix (the city’s “dive-friendliest” reading and music series), a night of LGBTQ+ comedy at CAMP: Queer Improv, and a Summer Rosé Party in Fremont.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...