Is — is this a blow job??
"Is — is this a blow job??" DmitriMaruta / Getty Images

We have a right to complain about the heat: Don’t give me that flak about how “it’s summer and it’s supposed to be hot.” I get that. That’s why I’m complaining. I—and everyone else here—choose not to suffer in silence. That’s because Seattle is the least air-conditioned metro area in this godforsaken country. We have a right to whine. Let us wallow in the whiner’s privilege we’ve earned because only 33.7 percent of Seattle households have access to fresh, air conditioned air. We swelter while nationally, 89 percent of people have air conditioning. That’s fucked up.

The heat is also fucked up: Of course I’m going to transition directly into a weather update where I complain about the heat. You guessed I was going to do that, didn’t you? And being right sent a delicious little thrill down your spine? Predictable. Just like stifling hell-week we’re in for. It’s going to be seven days of high temperatures. There’s a heat advisory in place for today. It’s supposed to hit 90 degrees again.


Republican overhaul of the Endangered Species Act: Is that a headline or the new season of American Horror Story? I’ll pitch it to Ryan Murphy just in case, but it’s brutal reality, I’m sorry to say. Lawmakers are trying to whittle away the laws in place that protect the most vulnerable species in America. Some lobbyists think that the laws don’t even help the creatures and are just put in place to mess with economic institutions and American livelihoods.

Mass shooting in Toronto: A 29-year-old gunman opened fire with a handgun in a popular Toronto neighborhood on Sunday night. Two people have died and 12 are wounded. The gunman is dead.

Someone caught a glimpse of the shooter:


Newcomers are supposed to register their cars in Washington state: There are all types of figures and fees that go into registering an out-of-state car here. The money goes toward funding transportation projects. It’s a win. Except when newcomers don’t register their cars in the allotted 30 days they have to do so. It’s nearly impossible for the Department of Licensing to monitor. That being said, “in all of Washington, the State Patrol has contacted almost 4,700 people for out-of-state registrations since the beginning of 2017,” writes the Seattle Times.

Water-balloon party turns deadly: Someone with an assault-style rifle opened fire in a backyard in Sunnyside where a party was going on. There were children present. One man was killed and four people were injured.

Second group of Oso plaintiffs reach settlement: Relatives of the 43 victims of the 2014 Oso landslide reached an $11.5 million settlement with Washington state and the timber company that logged the area. The lawsuit claims that both parties knew the hillside was unstable yet didn’t do anything about it. This is the second group to receive a payout in the case.

Hope Solo vindicated, may sue for defamation: Hope Solo had her two misdemeanor charges of domestic violence dropped by the city of Kirkland. Solo, famed U.S. women’s soccer and Seattle Reign FC goalie, allegedly fought her nephew and half-sister in 2014. After nearly four years and no public trial, the charges have been dropped. Solo is relieved but she may be out for media blood after coverage she deemed unfair and untrue.

Legalize weed, fight crime: Apparently legal herb is good for law enforcement. While you’re off freely smoking kush, the police have been able to focus on other, actual crimes. The clearance rate—when authorities identify, arrest, and process a suspect—for some types of crimes have gone up in Washington and Colorado since the two pioneer states legalized weed in 2012.

Beware of beach umbrellas: A strong gust of wind uprooted an Ocean City umbrella in Maryland and drove it into a 54-year-old woman’s chest. The same thing happened to a woman on the Jersey shore last week. The place, not the tv show.

Case closed: Well, Vladimir Putin told Fox News (not propaganda) that Russia didn’t interfere with U.S. elections so I guess that settles that. We can all go home, boys. Tell Mueller good work, but it was all for naught.


Speaking of Fox being a shamble of an institution: Get a load of their morning segment today. They tried to book a pro-ICE Democrat on their show but booked the wrong guest and it backfired.


IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:


That’s a joke because our president tweeted this late last night:


Scott Pruitt’s desk had a toxic chemical in it: As the former EPA chief, Pruitt spent lavishly. Part of this was a $10,000 office redecoration. Part of that redecoration included an ornate desk. That desk was made with a formaldehyde classified as a carcinogen. No amount of bullet proofing can protect you from cancer.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A fundraising festival in Belltown for the Rise Up campaign, a reading with the survivor of a 2013 shooting at the Central District's Twilight Exit, Marti Jonjak, and Sara Porkalob's Persimmon Nights.