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Mid-30s guy here. I went on a date with a very attractive, intelligent and nice girl a few years my junior a some days ago. She wrote in her profile that drug use is a deal breaker for her. Otherwise we seem like a very good match.

Now, I've been doing magic mushrooms for about five years in my life, maybe a dozen times total and only once in the last two years. I might do some more at some point, but don't see it happening in the near future. I don't consider my use a problem, just recreational and occassionally even self-improving.

My question is: Should I tell her immediately, later on in the relationship, or not at all? We both have a primary partner and I'm probably headed towards FWB with this girl, so there's no serious relationship in sight. I see her as a very potential partner for and don't want to blow this by disclosing (too early).

Serious Hazard2 Relationship Or Omission Makes Sense?

Tell her right away, SHROOMS. If she can't distinguish between drug abuse and your very rare use of a recreational drug—your biennial hallucinogen—then you don't wanna be wasting your time (or your dick) on her. And if she dumps you or, hell, even if she doesn't, get her a copy of Michael Pollan's new book.

That was quick — here's a bonus question...

My boyfriend is into spanking. He likes to be on the receiving end, so it’s not like I have to submit to pain I don’t enjoy. But I don’t enjoy giving pain either and he wants to be spanked long and hard enough to make him cry. I do it, but I hate it, and it kills my libido for days. He used to have a couple of “spank buds” but I don’t want him having erotic experiences with other men and this, for him, is the ultimate erotic experience. I know he can’t just stop needing this but it’s unlikely I’ll ever start enjoying it. So what do we do?

Reluctantly Spanking

Pick one, RS: You can continue to spank him yourself (until he’s sobbing and your libido is dead), you can refuse to spank him (which will end with him seeing one of his old spanking buddies behind your back), or you can let him get his spankings from someone who enjoys spanking him just as much as he enjoys being spanked (again, one of his old spanking buddies).

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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