Theyre so thirsty.
They're so thirsty. Jillian Cooper/ Getty Images

Slog PM tonight is brought to you by this bottle of Tylenol and my raging headache: I took two of these biddies, snatched 'em up right off our managing editor's desk (sorry Leilani). It was dire straits, my left eye has felt like it was bulging out of its socket since at least 1 p.m. My left temple? It felt like a Jehovah's Witness (sorry Rich) was pounding on four hours. I was drowning all day, swimming in a dense fog without a life preserver. Until, hopefully, this Tylenol.

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I'd love to say that two Tylenols and a swig of water cleared that shit right up but there's probably something more wrong with me than just a headache. It's bone-weary tiredness. From what? Gosh, look at the week we've had! Also, I exercised for the first time in way too long yesterday and I think my whole body is in revolt. This is not an ad for Tylenol. This is just me bemoaning getting migraines and yearning for the sweet release of death the weekend. Normally, we do a happy hour for Slog PM Fridays. This Tylenol is sweeter than any cocktail and more refreshing than any brewski Brett Kavanaugh could ever dream of, and if yesterday is any indicator, he dreams about those a lot.

King County Sexual Assault hotline sees uptick in phone calls after Kavanaugh hearing: They’re getting three times the amount of calls as usual. Since #MeToo started the hotline has seen a 20 percent increase. Most of the calls are from people divulging long-kept secrets about traumas and abuse experiences. Apparently, many of the women calling are in their 60s and 70s. That’s incredible. I’m sad reading that and writing that. But, it’s also strangely hopeful? Like, finally, these women feel they can share their experience.

There’s going to be a ‘limited’ FBI investigation into Brett Kavanaugh’s past: The final confirmation hearing will be delayed a week. Oh, right. “Limited” means one week. The FBI has a single week to dig up all the skeletons in Brett Kavanaugh’s high school and college closets. Maybe other closets. Or, maybe there are no skeletons. We don’t know. We may know in a week.

Senator Jeff Flake played a key role in the decision: He called for the investigation after saying he supported Kavanaugh, getting yelled at by some heroes in an elevator, and then changing his mind. Some call Flake a hero. Others call him a fucking sham.

It’s time to eradicate Hepatitis C! The Hepatitis C virus is ten times more infectious than HIV. Did you know that? Now you do. There are 65,000 people living with the virus in Washington. Also, at least 20,000 death are caused by it a year! All of that depressing shit aside, Governor Jay Inslee signed a directive on Friday to coordinate state and local efforts to eradicate the virus by 2030, reports the Seattle Times. Together we will persevere.

Renton man bludgeoned to death: The victim was 67 and owned a nice house and seven acres in beautiful southeast Renton. This was apparently what got him killed. He was pepper-sprayed in the face and then bludgeoned. There was what looked like a grave dug at the bottom of his back steps. The suspects in the case are a husband and wife who were looking for a new place to live.

I-5 repairs are going to back up your weekend: Emergency repairs along southbound I-5 will congest the freeway this weekend. It will be down to one lane between Spokane Street and the Corson-Michigan exit either from 8:30 p.m. Friday to 8:30 a.m. Saturday depending on the weather. The congestion will likely bleed into the northbound lanes as well since there’s some repaving project going on.

Goddammit, we get it, Tacoma has Lime scooters: Lime introduced e-scooters to Tacoma and after a week they reported 5,000 miles. Tacoma can’t get enough of these fucking scooters. They are still illegal in Seattle.

Do you know what rhymes with scooters? Hooters. Apparently, our digital editor Chase Burns’s mom was one of the original Hooters girls and was allegedly the first to get pregnant on the job. By his father. Thanks, that’s your Hooters news for the night.

Which logo are you? Also, how many logos do we have now? Should I get one of them tattooed on my neck? I will only get the one that Slog commenter Raindrop tells me to.


Facebook did some shit again: 50 million accounts were hacked in a security breach. Over 90 million users were logged out of their accounts. Over 90 million users had to remember their passwords after they were logged out. Some probably opted to not log back in. Those are the smart ones. Facebook “doesn’t yet know” if anyone’s personal information was stolen.

But wait, it gets worse: Yeah, you know those websites that make you use Facebook to log in to them? Hackers gained access to those sites, too. Hackers could’ve seen who you swiped left and right on! They could’ve seen what you ordered from Panera Bread online!

Talk about helicopter parents: This Missouri mom filed a federal lawsuit after her son didn’t make Varsity soccer. The school won’t let juniors play on Junior Varsity in order to make room for younger players. The kid, a junior, was cut because he was too old for JV and too shitty for Varsity. See you in court!

Apparently those goats were airlifted out of Olympic National Park because they were addicted to human urine: Hikers would pee along trails. The goats got addicted. They developed an insatiable thirst for human urine. We all have our vices.

We really can’t make this shit up: Roman Polanski Announces His First Movie in #MeToo Era, Called J’Accuse.