Is this good for you? Credit: Marilyn Volan / EyeEm
Is this good for you?
Is this good for you? Marilyn Volan / EyeEm

Stop stealing the 69 mile post! While we’re at it, quit running off with the 420 milepost marker too, you unoriginal dolt! People—email me if it was you, I won’t name names—keep stealing the funny numbers off the highways. So, the Washington State Department of Transportation has had to come up with some creative workarounds. Like mile 419.9 markers or 419 and 421 mile markers but no 420 marker. Ah, hijinks.

Seattle Police Department detectives may have to take up patrol shifts: SPD is short-staffed. They’re having some trouble finding new recruits. Staffing changes are inevitable. That includes one obtained by Crosscut today that says detectives, who normally wouldn’t have to do this sort of thing, will be retrained to go on patrols. That’s because there aren’t enough patrol officers.

Toss your dirty needles at a Starbucks: Wait, before you hurl some syringes at your local Sbux, let me get this out. I promise you can at least do some careful placing of syringes at some Starbuckses (what is the plural of Starbucks? Starbi?). “Sharps” (syringes, needles, and lancets) containers are places where dirty needles can be disposed of. Those are available in some Seattle stores already. Starbucks is looking to expand this after an employee raised concerns about finding needles around a Starbucks establishment.

Your last chance for a late night viaduct ride: Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! superstar, gets it.

Doctored Donald footage: An editor at Q13 Fox here in Seattle got a little crafty with Trump’s national address the other night. The editor manipulated the footage to make Trump’s skin tone a little more uh, tangerine, and looped the part where his tongue stuck out to make it look a little more “Dog on a Hot Day.” The editor was fired.

Olympia man sentenced to jail for brutal murders and decapitations: Yeah, that makes sense. This guy bludgeoned two Tacoma women to death in early 2017. He beheaded them and then set their home on fire. He allegedly was high and hearing voices. He’s going to jail for over 60 years.

Project re-legalize affirmative action in Washington is a go: Initiative-1000 is on its way to the Legislature. I-1000 received 387,000 signatures. It only needed 260,000. That’s a record. If passed, I-1000 would change state law to allow affirmative action to fix discrimination in hiring, education, and “contracting against veterans and historically disadvantaged groups, such as women, people with disabilities and people of color,” according to the Seattle Times. The legislative session starts Monday.

I’ve been looking out my window all week wondering what’s up at Cal Anderson: The park is being smothered by chain link fences. Something was up! But I only cared to observe from my perch. Luckily, Capitol Hill Seattle Blog did all the leg work and figured out that Seattle Parks and Recreation is making those cesspool bathrooms all-gender! Maybe they’ll give the bathrooms a thorough wipe down, too.

Wanna read Jeff Bezos’s sexts? I know you do, you naughty thing, you. The kicker is that he refers to his lady of love as “alive girl.”

The only guy the ladies want to sext: Get it?

But wait, your doorbell might be watching you: Spoiler alert: It’s an Amazon product. The Ring security camera which can be mounted all camouflage-like on your doorbell and other small places has some serious design flaws. It spies on your house while you’re gone. It also spies on you. Ring gave its employees unlimited access to users’ video feeds.

Trump traveled to the border: He’s really digging his heels in on this one. “You’ll have crime in Iowa, you’ll have crime in New Hampshire, you’ll have crime in New York without a wall,” he warned.

Lol what: Fox logic!

Newly Elected Congresswoman Kim Schrier doesn’t know if she would vote to fund the wall in exchange for opening the government. She told Q13 she hasn’t “made a decision” yet. She told Rich Smith the same thing. Wrong answer.

U.S. fertility rate keeps declining: For seven years now, there are fewer and fewer babies in the U.S. That’s no good for our population rates. In fact, without immigration, coincidentally, the population will be sent into decline.

Yellow vest protests set sights on traffic cameras: The French protests over fuel prices are still going on. Currently, the protesters have laid siege on over 60 percent of the country’s speed camera network. That’s… impressive work.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...