Sir, its been four days since your last HOV lane violation.
Sir, it's been four days since your last HOV lane violation. avid_creative/Getty Images

Todd Herman, the KIRO Radio personality and author of "Dear Mike O'Brien: I drive my car in bus lanes all the time" is a bus-phobe. He hates them. In fact, he hates any mode of transportation that isn't sitting alone in his personal mini-pyramid: his car. Todd likes to drive in bus-only lanes and he doesn't care who knows it!

Driving in bus lanes may bring you an adrenaline rush, Todd, but, based on your records I pulled from King County, it also brings you a whole lot of tickets.

Looking at this long list, should you really be driving, Todd? I'm concerned for your safety.

First off, congrats on upgrading from your Daewoo Leganza to that snazzy white Lexus. I won't even get into your multiple speeding tickets, your turn infractions, that time you were caught driving with your cellphone, the litany of times you were caught driving without a license, the expired tabs, or the parking infractions (we've all had our parking tickets, I'll give you that one). We really need to talk about your favorite sort of infraction: driving in the bus lane.

Over the years, Todd, you've been caught driving in the HOV lane at least four times. (That bus lane you cite in your article is technically an HOV lane.) I don't know how many times you've been caught for sure, because you frequently contest your tickets in court. Of the four records I do have, two (in October 2005) happened within a span of four days! Todd! How does that happen?

On one of those October offenses, the officer that pulled you over put this in the comments: "[Defendant] stated he drives in the HOV every morning and will continue to do so. That he has on three previous times been cited and got the tickets thrown out because of some federal law."

Another officer that pulled you over wrote that you exclaimed, "I don't pay HOV violations!" and then wrote, "Herman stated he has been pulled over three times for HOV violation and has beat them all."

Todd, you keep doing this because, laughably, you think traffic laws shouldn't apply to you—or anyone. In another astoundingly bad editorial, you encourage drivers to illegally register their cars in the wrong counties to receive lower car tab taxes. You also write that you intentionally break I-405 express lane tolls by "defacing [your] license plate with a blue dry erase pen" when you "drive through that area." We know you're not hiding this law-breaking, because you literally wrote "I am not hiding my law-breaking," and continued:

I argue that it is our moral obligation as American citizens to refuse to follow rules created by the government that are blatantly illegal. The laws I am breaking are demonstrably illegal.

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Todd, don't you get tired?

You are not an activist, you are a menace. I pity the police officers who have to deal with you. What form of public transportation hurt you, Todd? Was it a ferry? A scooter? A bus? I asked you, but you said, "I think the article is pretty self-explanatory. I'll pass." I just wanted to know if you've ever ridden a bus before, but got back: "Like I said, I will pass."

Since we've reached an impasse, a suggestion: Take the fucking bus, Todd. It'll save you more trips to the courthouse.