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Originally published on Mar. 22, 2010.

I'm a straight male who recently seperated from a woman. We had nearly a decade of incredible, exploratory sex but things ended with months of celibacy. I'm eager to explore one of the things I miss most about those early days: being pegged by a woman. So I went right ahead and ponied up some cash to become a card-carrying member of Adult Friend Finder. I assumed that living where I live—one of the biggest cities in the country—my kink would be run-of-the-mill and I'd be able to jump right into a renewed sex life. Shocker of shockers: despite the kabillion members the site claims and a variety of groups dedicated to the subject, I can't find ANYTHING other than other men looking. Virtually no ladies, let alone attractive ones, looking to peg in my area.

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Reading you all these years, I assumed this stuff was perfectly normal. Does my taste for strap ons—as opposed to, you know, guys—make me a pervert among perverts? Am I just going about this all wrong? Do you have any advice for a new member of the kinky dating pool on how I can get myself sorted, so to speak?

Butt In The End

You realize there aren't any nerve endings in a strap-on dildo, right?

There are a handful of women out there who enjoy pegging for the towering perversity of it all, for the thrill of upending, destabilizing, fissuring, etc., traditional gender roles. But most women who peg, BITE, do it for their male partner's pleasure, not for their own. No nerve endings in that dildo, remember? So you might have better luck if you stopped looking for a pegger and started looking for a kinky, open-minded, sexually-adventurous woman and include pegging in your list of interests. Put pegging, something you would like a partner to do for you, on a list with all the things you're excited about doing for her, BITE, and your luck might improve.


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Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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