Forbes calls Kylie Jenner (right) self-made. What do we make of this???
Forbes calls Kylie Jenner (right) self-made. What do we make of this??? Rick Kern / Stringer

We'll get to Kylie in a bit. First: A Washington state woman is trapped in Saudi Arabia. She moved there and married a Saudi businessman. They had a daughter together. But, the marriage took a turn for the worse and now, post-divorce, she's trapped in Saudi Arabia. The country's guardianship laws make things ass-backwards for women; essentially, because the laws grant men power over women this American woman can't access her bank accounts, "leave the country, travel with her daughter, or seek legal help," reports the New York Times. The guardianship laws give women citizenship comparable to how minors are citizens—if they have a male "guardian" then they can do normal stuff like obtain passports or use their bank account.

Gov. Jay Inslee clinches that sweet, sweet super PAC money: Act Now on Climate, the new super PAC founded by some Inslee allies, as the Seattle Times dubs them, announced the $1 million ad buy for Inslee on Tuesday, reports the Times. The campaign will go live in Iowa on Wednesday and highlights Inslee's contributions to making Washington green. Inslee isn't concerned about taking super PAC money from Act Now on Climate since they're climate advocates. He won't touch a dime of fossil fuel money, though. Psh, like they'd waste their time on him.

There's an Oregon bill that would (mostly) kill the death penalty there: It's a proposed bill in the Oregon House. It would ban all capital punishment aside from terrorism-related killings. That seems specific. But, that's because lawmakers can't introduce legislation that would outright ban capital punishment without putting the measure on the ballot to be voted on. There's been a moratorium on executions since 2011.

A bill that would decriminalize teen sexting passed the House today: Woo! Washington is moving toward decriminalizing teen sexting since it's fucking stupid to charge minors with felonies for sending each other nudes. But, Rep. Brad Klippert got all huffy about it when his amendment was shot down. In Klippert's ideal world he would criminalize minors' possessions of images of the self. So, if a teen merely possessed a video of themselves masturbating, they could still face charges under Klippert's version of the bill. Here's him screaming about anal (props to Stranger staffer Rich Smith for the video editing work! Hire him, YouTube!):

Bellingham city employee going to jail for having child porn: Also for filming female employees without their consent. He filmed them while they were in the changing area at the Arne Hanna Aquatic Center. Six women sued him over the voyeurism. He was sentenced Monday.

Light rail is on its way to Tacoma! They've broken ground on the Hill Top expansion! Sound Transit is working on the water line for the Tacoma extension. According to KING5: "In 2022, the Tacoma Link will extend down Martin Luther King Jr. Way in Tacoma's Hilltop neighborhood."

So long, sun: We hardly new ye.

Did you know there's a Triple Crown of hiking? Yeah, me neither! This woman did. Heather Anderson, a Seattle resident, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, the Appalachian Trail, and the Continental Divide in eight months. That's 8,000 miles. She's the first woman to do it.

The terms for Amazon's only remaining HQ2: The spot in Arlington County in Northern Virginia is way more pro-Amazon than the New Yorkers in Long Island City. That's good for Amazon who scored a pretty sweet deal on the bid. The only prerequisite for our local bookseller and soon-to-be-grocery-magnate is that they must occupy a minimum amount of office space per year. In return, Amazon gets a 15 percent cut of all of Arlington County's hotel tax revenue. Also, Amazon is eligible for $23 million in tax incentives and gets a lofty arrangement when it comes to public records requests.

North Korea breaks pinky swear: Last year, North Korea promised to dismantle a missile launch site after the first summit with dear old Donald. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like North Korea's word is as air-tight as many were inclined to believe. They've started "rapidly rebuilding" the missile launch site according to reports from South Korea and two U.S. think tanks. If we can't trust North Korea these days then who can we trust?!?!!?*

Kylie Jenner is the youngest self-made billionaire: Forbes just released their billionaire list. Kylie Jenner, the 21-year-old Kylie Cosmetics mogul, is officially the youngest "self-made" billionaire, according to Forbes. Let's put a pin in that for a second and just balk at that phrase: "self-made." Look, I'm sure Kylie is the bees-knees at following trends and stealing other people's beauty techniques innovating how we use makeup but let's not kid ourselves by saying this is a self-made empire. Kylie was born into money. She got a leisurely head start. What are the odds that she has a team of experts around her helping with these business decisions? I'd guess pretty fucking high. Part of her success was her prolific social media presence. That started when she was a kid being filmed on her family's hit reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Kylie utilized that base, yes, but she already had that base. Yes, it's impressive that she's made this company into a billion-dollar empire, but let's cut the self-made crap.

Real Madrid eliminated from Champions League: It's the first time since 2015 that Real Madrid has been eliminated from the premier club competition. It probably has to do with Cristiano Ronaldo's switch to Juventus this season. Sad day for Real Madrid. But, let me just point out that I love this sports writing: "This time, on an enthralling evening in the Spanish capital, it was Ajax which put Real to the sword, scoring four stunning goals."

She's not running: Hillary Clinton announced today that she's not running for president in 2020.

*This is a literary device known as sarcasm