What kind of strain do you think these fuzzballs like?
What kind of strain do you think these fuzzballs like? HEDGEHOG94/GETTY IMAGES

Seattle Department of Transportation has congestion pricing on the mind: I’m just a few weeks away from buying my first car, so I’m starting to become truly aware of just how bad Seattle’s traffic really is. SDOT recently released a series of white papers that outlined the best practices in implementing congestion pricing without hurting low-income drivers and people of color. These reports, with ideas borrowed from other major cities, don’t really specify how congestion pricing would work in Seattle or how people would pay, but I guess they’re a good first step. Don’t expect congestion pricing anytime soon, people.

California unanimously approves a bill to get dogs high: No, I'm not talking about Snoop Dogg, he stays high whether California lawmakers like it or not. Dogs across the great state of California could soon be getting high with their owners, but only if they have a special note from their veterinarian, which will probably lead to a rise in the number of canine "glaucoma" cases. Okay sure, Baxter, you need to get high for your "night terrors."

Theresa May is throwing in the towel: The UK prime minister has been shackled to the shitshow we know as Brexit ever since she took office and hasn’t been able to get a deal passed. She’s survived votes of no confidence by Parliament, but now public confidence in her ability to get this passed is at an all-time low. She’ll step down from the UK’s Conservative Party on June 7 but will stay on as prime minister until a new leader can be chosen. Some experts believe Boris Johnson, a man who looks if they remade 13 Going on 30 with an unkempt, overconfident middle schooler, is the front-runner to replace her.

UW’s incoming Title IX deputy director canned for domestic-violence charge: Dennis F. Amoateng would have been in charge of managing the office that investigates discrimination on campus, including domestic violence. If they trained those dogs at the airport to sniff out conflicts of interest, it would be barking its ass off at that one. He was charged with domestic abuse on May 6 after police responded to a physical incident with his wife, who said there had been other “domestic issues” before. Needless to say, he will not be starting his new job on May 22 after all. In other news, UW needs a new Title IX deputy director!

Number of children born in opioid withdrawal skyrockets: One hidden consequence of the opioid epidemic is the children born to mothers addicted to the drugs, which can stunt the children's neurological development and cause learning disabilities. In Washington, the rate at which children were born in opioid withdrawal has risen 631 percent since 2000, a rise from 1.3 per 1,000 births in 2000 to 9.5 per 1,000 birth last year, according to a report by the Seattle Times. That’s insane; essentially one out of every 100 births involved a maternal substance-abuse disorder. This has big impacts on K-12 schools, which are charged with educating these children, many of whom need extra help and potential special education.

The Stranger's Rich Smith live-tweeted a District 3 city council candidate forum: And it was a tweet. Shit, er, I meant treat. Here are some highlights:

You can read more here.

Elon Musk made a metric fuck-ton of money last year: The CEO paid himself a $2.3 billion salary last year, and that’s just from Tesla! Turns out it’s the biggest salary a CEO has ever received in the history of ridiculous wage disparities. CEO pay has increased at almost twice the rate of ordinary wages, according to the New York Times. Other CEOs received crazy payouts too, topping out at right around $130 million, an insane amount of money, but nowhere close to Musk’s deluge of cash.

The rain is back: Memorial Day is my official first weekend of summer, but I'm glad it's raining so I can properly mourn the death of Sasquatch! (the music festival). You were so young, I hardly knew thee.

Senate FINALLY approves disaster funding package for Puerto Rico: Better late than never, but it would have been nice six fucking months ago! Puerto Rico will receive $1.4 billion to reinvigorate its economy and rebuild infrastructure damaged by Hurricane Maria. It's part of a $19 billion disaster funding package that will also fund rebuilding efforts in US states hurt by wildfires, floods, and hurricanes.

You remember that picture Chase had in Slog PM from Mount Everest? Well, here it is again in case you missed it. It turns out three more people died between Slog PM and Slog AM, bringing the death toll for this season to seven. The congestion was directly blamed for at least one of the deaths, where a man had to wait at the top of the mountain for 12 hours to get past the people going up and down to reach the summit. These deaths will hopefully cause Nepalese officials to limit the number of climbing permits they give out.

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Now listen here, you $#!%: I hope you've liked Ween Week as much as I have. And if you didn't? Tough shit. They deserve more love than they get, and I am here to shower them with it. Comment below with what musical themes you want to see here next week!

The best Seattle entertainment options this weekend include: The Northwest Folklife Festival, the campout-style Vashon market Fire Sale, and a show with Texas troubadour Rhett Miller.