Bad flag.
Bad flag. City of Seattle

In case you missed the Mueller report: There will be a live reading of it in about 15 minutes at 6 p.m. PDT. It will star Annette Bening, Zachary Quinto, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Sigourney Weaver, Mark Hamill, and a bunch of other legit celebrities. Seriously, this thing is more stacked than the cast of Big Little Lies. The Investigation: A Search for the Truth in Ten Acts (TEN!?!?!?!) will stream live on the Law Works website tonight. Drink every time there’s a redaction. (JK, don’t, you’ll die.)

This will probably be a good refresher for Trump: As he mentioned on Meet the Press yesterday, he hasn’t read all of it. He did, however, read much of it:

CHUCK TODD:

So did you not read the Mueller report?

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP:

Let me tell you, I read much of it.

Boeing has so many grounded 737 Max 8s that they’re parking them in the employee parking lot: This isn’t The Onion, it’s Real News. (Pitch: Pixar should make an animated children’s movie about anthropomorphic grounded 737 Max 8s stuck in this employee parking lot, managing their grief and trying to figure out what’s wrong with each other. Instead of Up, it’s Down, or something. This is just a brainstorm. No bad ideas here.)

Does your jaw hurt from clenching it during the whole Spain vs. U.S. Women’s World Cup game today?: Nathalie’s does. Spoiler: We won!

Build a wall: More techies are migrating to Seattle. We’re all well aware by now that Expedia is bringing in 4,500 employees to Interbay by fall. Earlier this month, Salesforce announced they were acquiring Seattle-based Tableau and planting their “HQ2” here. WeWork is killing us all kinds of softly. Now, Apple has announced that 2,000 new workers will be coming to South Lake Union in the next five years. And it’ll be right across from Amazon, too! How cute. Let’s option a tech-themed Everybody Loves Raymond pilot.

A fire in West Seattle: This blog claims it was a brush fire in Burien.

There was this apartment fire in West Seattle this morning: West Seattle Blog reports there were no injuries.

A protester led an “Abolish ICE” chant inside City Hall today: Council President Bruce Harrell asked security to remove the activist. Councilmembers Kshama Sawant and Teresa Mosqueda clapped in support of her. On the mic, Sawant thanked the activist for “her courage in speaking.” After Harrell tried to move along, Sawant interrupted him to say she agreed with the idea of abolishing ICE and to praise the activist: “She asked for a response, so I’m saying I stand with you…movements will need to disrupt routine, otherwise we are not going to address the climate crisis or the discrimination against immigrants.” She then stood with her fist raised.

Move over HBO. Seattle Channel has the t.
Move over HBO. Seattle Channel has the t.

Sawant petitioned Harrell to let the activist stay and not to ban her from the chambers: Harrell said the protester could stay, but the “other rules,” made in response to frequent public commenter Alex Tsimerman’s hateful and pointless tirades, had to remain in place. Councilmember Mike O’Brien advocated for the rules, saying we needed to apply them equally to people the council members agree with and disagree with. CM Herbold then went on with the agenda, which was to celebrate Seattle Channel. (Really! They were honoring Seattle Channel’s commitment to transparent public discourse. And, I would add, spicy drama.)

Remember those sweet texts from Trump that get sent right to our phones? Researchers have found a way to exploit the presidential emergency alerts, proving it by simulating the alerts at a 50,000 seat football stadium in Colorado. These alerts send out AMBER alerts and presidential alerts.

An early Headline of the Week: And it’s only Monday!

A close second Headline of the Week: “I carried Seattle’s flag and got laughs” is the headline from a blog post written by former Seattle City Councilmember Jean “Checked Out Since 2007” Godden for Westside Seattle this morning. She writes about her mortifying experience parading one of Seattle’s only two copies of its historically shitty flag. “Run Seattle’s official banner up the flag pole today and you’re more apt to get a rhubarb than a salute,” Godden writes. In case you missed what our city flag looks like, here it is:

Yes, that’s semen fertilizing an egg containing Chief Seattle: It’s a bad flag. And, as Godden points out, it was designed by the last Republican to be elected to Seattle City Council. We’ll have more details coming in July, but we’re throwing a contest to replace the flag. There will be prizes. Dear Jean, please apply.

A final thought for the evening: If you had any doubts conservatives were mostly white people with no taste…

Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.